Whose House? PUN'S HOUSE!

The View From Down Here - Blatantly Stolen From Failbook

2012-02-27T15:40:00.004-05:00

No, this isn't weird or creepy at all....

Northern Reflections - 84th Academy Awards

2012-02-27T11:49:00.000-05:00

Awards season officially wrapped up last night with the 84th Academy Awards. Or “Oscars,” as they’re occasionally called. Maybe the event is the Academy Awards and the statues are Oscars. I honestly don’t know, and frankly, I’m too hungover to care. The show was long and dull, just like most of the movies that won awards, I assume. I’m pretty sure the only thing I saw that was nominated for anything was Moneyball.

Given that there are no more awards shows for me to make fun of, I’m taking suggestions for future blog topics. Doesn’t have to be Twitter-related. Just let me know if you want me to spout off on something, and I’ll likely oblige.

Without further ado, accompanied by a bottle of wine and a few beers, here’s what I saw.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Anyone up for a live tweet of the #Oscars? It promises to be self-congratulatory! (The Oscars, not the tweeting.) (But also the tweeting.)

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
By surprisingly popular demand, the #Oscars, as seen by progressively drunker me. #LetsDoThis

13h Jennifer Solomon ‏ @mightyerf
Holy shit, those were Cameron Diaz's nipples...it must be cold! #Oscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@mightyerf I knew I tuned in too late.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
As always, @tomhanks is a class act. Is there a nicer guy in Hollywood?

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Brian Grazer always looks like he just got electrocuted, and it's not just the hair.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Chris Rock is supporting Eddie Murphy with his Buckwheat hair.

Jennifer Solomon ‏ @mightyerf
Hey @psychofish77 you need a hashtag!

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@mightyerf DO NOT NEED~!

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
. @mightyerf is right. I need a hashtag. #phoscars will do. Although I can already see myself asking what P Hoscars means tomorrow.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Morgan Freeman should start every broadcast. Not just of the Oscars. Of everything. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
18-24? More like 12-15. Nice try, Bieber. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Oh, Tintin. I was wondering why Ed Grimley was making an appearance. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Ninth time hosting, first time since the 80s. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Just me, or is the audio way off? I'm getting a lot of feedback and echoes. #phoscars

Jennifer Solomon ‏ @mightyerf
@psychofish77 It's you. :-)

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@mightyerf Stoopid wine

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
These songs were better when not every movie was nominated for best picture. #phoscars

13h Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Poor skinny Jonah Hill #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 Poor poor skinny Jonah Hill #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
A seat-filler segment? In a show that's guaranteed to run long? Bad idea. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Hugo wins the first award for "movie I didn't see". This will be a popular award tonight. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Hugo wins another award, making it the first-ever recipient of back-to-back awards I was too busy tweeting about to know what they were for

Flawedcast ‏ @flawedcast
If #Hugo wins all night I'm going to kill myself...

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@flawedcast They thought they were giving awards to Adele for "Huge"

12h Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 Did you see Adele chase Indiana Jones?

11h Beer Baron ‏ @BeerBaron4life
@fsolomon75 @psychofish77 "That's no moon." -Obi Wan talking about Adele

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Not a good idea to run a 21 Jumpstreet commercial during the #phoscars. Makes everyone look bad (who was involved in 21 Jumpstreet).

12h Jennifer Solomon ‏ @mightyerf
@psychofish77 Except the guy that's in it and nominated for an Oscar tonight, right?

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@mightyerf No, that makes him look even worse. Movies like that should be beneath him. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The show will run long. Stop filling. This is WWE calibre for video packages so far. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Nothing proves you're a lady like "looseness". #phoscars Costume design being awarded. It won't go to Thor, but it should.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Someone won for something. I wasn't paying attention because I don't care. #phoscars I'd get fired if this was my job.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Costume guy is from Niagara Falls. That's like 20 minutes from here. I still don't care. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The makeup award is up now. Harry Potter could win. That'd be fine. "Looks exactly like Meryl Streep" shouldn't win. But it did. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Really? SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MERYL STREEP~! #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Tom Cruise looks pretend. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Is Vince McMahon producing this? Any minute we'll start getting "Minutes ago" video packages. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Bullock out to intro foreign language film...in German. Canada should win. Because it's Canada, and we're everyone's buddy. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Stupid Iran. First the oil, then the Oscar. What's next, the unobtanium? #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
Iran won an award in a town run by my people. OK then. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Bale out to award Best Supporting Actress. My wife is surprised yet again that he has an accent. Gets her every time. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Why is Adrien Brody nominated here? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
McCarthy loses to... #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
...the chick from The Help who won the Golden Globe. No surprise. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The crowd is wearing its Standing O Face. Not sure why. Didn't see the movie. Won't see the movie. Spielberg gets thanks. Why not? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Why would people start talking about The Artist tomorrow? #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
Waldorf and Statler should be in the balcony instead. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@fsolomon75 I'd watch the Muppet-cast of this thing in a heartbeat.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The Muppets got hosed. They should have been able to perform for Best Song. And they should win the Feel-Good Movie Oscar. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Yeah, Vince is involved. This is pointless and terrible. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I blame Billy Crystal personally for wasting my time. Then I blame mt TV for showing it. Then I blame Hollywood. I'm blameless. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
We're watching an extended Best Editing nominee segment? Irony is key here. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Okay guys. You're editors. Staqrt cutting words...Nice work. #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
I really wish Eddie didn't drop out. This is brutal. #phoscars

12h Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Sound editing is a thing now? COME ON. Remember the Grammys, where they didn't even televise the important awards? #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 Yeah they should edit these out. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Sound Mixing? I think Tina Fey's making up awards so she doesn't have to get off the stage. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The crying guy and the annoyed British guy make a great sound editing team. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Remember when the Muppets sounded like the Muppets? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Cirque du...ANOTHER FUCKING "WHY I LIKE MOVIES PACKAGE"? #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
I miss Frank Oz. RT @psychofish77: Remember when the Muppets sounded like the Muppets? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
You know what would be better than this? Harrison Ford presenting an award for anything. Or anyone else doing that. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I hate when I go to a movie and some bitch stands on my head. #phoscars

Taryn Cooper ‏ @TarynItUpNY
one soiled.“@fsolomon75: I miss Frank Oz. RT @psychofish77: Remember when the Muppets sounded like the Muppets? #phoscars”

12h Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
@TarynItUpNY One hat. Black.

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
Fixed RT @psychofish77: You know what would be better than this? Harrison Ford. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Stark and Pepper out with a bad bit to present Documentary. Stark saying "Boring!" was meta, though. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
A documentary won. The makers are 100% more exciting than their film, and I still don't care. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
PLAYED OFF~! #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Chris Rock is funny. Not as controversial as he's trying to be, but funny. Like cute funny. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Here are the nominees for the category Chris Rock just shit all over. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
No Pixar? Then give it to Lizard Depp. I didn't see Rango, but I will. Looks fun. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Jonah Hill has a 0.0001% chance of winning an Oscar tonight. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Only those who saw Bridesmades will get this joke. And they've grown sick of it. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
For once, I agree with Still. Just get on with it. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Visual Effects. Let's throw Marvel some love. Thor, Cap -- give a great movie an award. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
When I said "Still" a minute ago, that was my nickname for Ben Stiller. We're just that close. Also, I autocorrected myself. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Adele wins the Visual Effects Oscar for Huge. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The lady who swore last year got to come back to give an Oscar to not Jonah Hill. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Nick Nolte looks like a fatter Santa Claus. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The BSA goes to Christopher Plummer. First win at 82. Congrats. Sincerely. #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
That's two actors from Dragnet w Oscars. Meanwhile, Ackroyd is selling wine at Walmart. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Okay, play him off. Crystal has another inane skit to get through. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Oh good. Another Whitney Houston tribute coming up. Can't wait. #phoscars

11h Beer Baron ‏ @BeerBaron4life
But a 100% chance to destroying the buffet. RT“@psychofish77: Jonah Hill has a 0.0001% chance of winning an Oscar tonight. #phoscars”

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@BeerBaron4life But he's skinny Jonah Hill now. That's just cruel. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Luckily, I paused it earlier, so I got to skip some of Crystal's mindreading bit. Why is there a dog? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
When will President Oscar get that no one gives a shit what he has to say? #phoscars

Norm Macdonald ‏ @normmacdonald
you put a dog in a seat so you could do that joke? Animal cruelty.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@normmacdonald In that humans are animals, yes.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Original Score. Is this the one where the Muppets can win? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The Muppets didn't win. It's possible that they weren't nominated, but still, it's a travesty. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Will Ferrell and Zack Galafinakis. I'd watch that movie. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
MUPPETS~! #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
GIVE THE FUCKING AWARD TO THE FUCKING MUPPETS~! #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
MUPPETS WIN~! MUPPETS WIN~! MUPPETS WIN~! #phoscars Also, Bret from Flight of the Conchords. Awesome.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Bret classes it up by thanking Jim Henson. Stupid dusty living room. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Jolie out to announce Writer. She looks terrible. I haven't seen any of these movies. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Except Moneyball, which was excellent. I really liked it. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Skeletal is in this year. #phoscars

Flawedcast ‏ @flawedcast
That title would be totally different with some punctuation. Tinker Taylor: Soldier/Spy

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
So this is...Screenplay? Sure. That's different than Writer. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Woody Allan is too busy sleeping with a child to accept his award. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Hey, Sasha Baron Cohen got to appear. Not as a ridiculous character, just as...wait... #phoscars

11h Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
A Dodgers joke for @BeerBaron4life #phoscars

11h Beer Baron ‏ @BeerBaron4life
@fsolomon75 really? Not watching, recording it. I'm in class.

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
@BeerBaron4life A cheap throwaway joke, kinda like the whole telecast. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I think Angelina Jolie is just trying really hard to look skinny next to her nex kid's tribe. #phoscars

Flawedcast ‏ @flawedcast
How many Muppets are gonna be on this show? First there was Kermit Piggy and then the girl from Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayhem just presented

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@flawedcast Janice. Her name is Janice. Show some respect.

Flawedcast ‏ @flawedcast
@psychofish77 When did she hook up with Brad Pitt?

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@flawedcast Post-Aniston, pre-Wasplady

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
They're making some good dick jokes as they relate to short films. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
As it happens, this is @natecorbitt's favourite category. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I ate some really hot Thai food and got pho scars #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
So is this. RT @psychofish77: As it happens, this is @natecorbitt's favourite category. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Best Animated Short now. I'm guessing it goes to Pixar. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
"A Morning Stroll" is the dubstep of short animated films. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
This acceptance speech would be far more entertaining if it were the film makers who were short and animated. #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
So far, Oscar has rewarded Iran, Pakistan, and kid fuckers. Good on ya, Hollywood. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I could get behind giving that guy who played Ghandi a lifetime achievement award. Ben Kingsley. Who gets that one this year? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Ghandi? Gandhi? Fuck people with oddly spelled names. Mahatma JerMichael. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Is "Excellence In Directing" the same as "Best Director"? I really hope not. We need fewer awards. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Here's the thing: there are movies and there are films. I like movies. Fuck high art. It's not "important". #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Also, fuck Meryl Streep. Fuck her in the ass. JESUS CHRIST~! WHAT HAPPENED TO MARIA SHRIVER? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Oprah gets an Oscar? She was in one movie 25 years ago. James Earl Jones can have all the Oscars he wants. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Is it racist that I have no idea who the white guy who got an oscar with Oprah and James Earl Jones is? #phoscars

Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
Oprah got an Oscar? Wasn't she just nominated for Precious? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Nice of Crystal to wear a tux for this segment. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Still sad about Leslie Nielson. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Also, Phil Hartman. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
So many sound mixers I'll never get a chance to ignore during acceptance speeches. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Was I typing when they showed Whitney, or does she get her own segment on this show too? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Portman gets to decide who Best Actor is. Not sure I trust her judgment after she did the Prequels. #phoscars

10h Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 Those never happened

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I like that a guy as cool as Clooney could legit win a Best Actor award. #phoscars (Fuck the Artist)

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Gary Oldman has never been nominated for an Oscar? That speaks to how out of touch these awards are. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Sure. Give the Actor award to the guy from "The Actor". Real original, jackasses. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Ugh. We have to listen to that jackass next year now too. Poor Lead Actress. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Actress has to go to Michelle Williams for Marilyn, right? Also, How much does it suck that Ledger never got to play Cobain? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Okay, PHers, next PH Movie Pitch draft, I call Ledger as Cobain in a biopic. #phoscars

10h Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 Gator's casting Lincoln as Cobain. Calling it now.

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I've stayed up awfully late and consumed an awful lot of alcolhol for a show I don't care about. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Meryl Streep might be able to act, but fuck her winning the makeup category. That was ass. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Also, parts of Canada saying "Why her?", Meryl. Mainly my parts. #phoscars

10h Fred Solomon ‏ @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 TMI

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Not to ignore Meryl's speech, but I'm going to give live tweeting the NHL #TradeDeadline a shot while I'm working tomorrow #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Wait...Tom Cruise because his movie won Best Film last year? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Can Tom Cruise win for his portrayal as Woody from Toy Story? #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Madame Tussaud should be commended for adding animatronics to her repertoire. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
The Artist wins. Both people who saw it feel vindicated. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Hacky going for "no one saw it", but come on. NO ONE SAW IT. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Normally, I'm defending the Globes as the show of the people at this point, but it sucked too. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
And that's the show. Apart from it being a truly weak year for movies, in that I saw maybe two that were nominated for anything... #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
...the show was terrible. Far too many skits, none of which were good. The Cirque thing wasn't even entertaining... #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I think I'm done with this awards show bullshit for a while. I hope there aren't any coming up anytime soon. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
You can't base awards solely on box office, because then Twilight and Jack and Jill would win awards, but there has to be a way...#phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
...to reward excellence in popular filmmaking. "ART~!" shouldn't win because it's seeminglt important if it's not entertaining. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
Also, I'm still bitter about Forrest Gump. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
I'd like to thank everyone in my @Connect dealie who wants to hire me to tweet for you, but I do it for love. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
So, my #phoscars tweets will show up on PH at some point tomorrow. For my 7 actual followers and 43 pornbot followers...

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
...what do you want to see bloggified by me? I take direction fairly well. Is Blog On Demandf an thing yet? This could work. #phoscars

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
@coryharris I think everything that wins Oscars is stuffy and pretentious. But I also really don't care very much.

coryharris ‏ @coryharris
@psychofish77 The Artist is fun, despite what you may think. It's not stuffy or pretentious by any means; perhaps a lil melodramatic but fun

Michael Hodge ‏ @psychofish77
#phoscars Don't forget to tune in for #phTradeDeadline tomorrow. Goodnight, psychophants.

Sollywood - The Numbers Don't Lie

2012-02-21T22:55:00.002-05:00

With the recent passing of Gary Carter, it got me thinking about the numbers retired by the Mets: 37 for Casey Stengel, 14 for Gil Hodges, and 41 for Tom Seaver. Does Kid deserve the same honor?

If you look at the numbers, probably not. He had two solid years in Flushing before his career started to go south. Does he really belong there with Seaver? Does he "deserve" it before Piazza? Before Hernandez, Gooden, Strawberry, et al?

On the flip side, I always felt that Carter's worth was beyond the statistics he put up as a Met. A true leader in every sense of the word. And not for nothing but if we're so hung up on Carter's stats in NY, remember that Stengel was a joke and that Hodges only had three winning seasons as Mets manager. By that rationale, Davey Johnson should have the fucking stadium named after him.

Retired numbers are a tricky issue. The Padres retired 6 for Steve Garvey and 35 for Randy Jones. Do they really belong there with Winfield, Gwynn, and Hoffman? If a team like the Padres honored players who won NOTHING for them, why can't a storied franchise (yeah I said it) like the Mets honor their winners like Johnson, Carter, Hernandez, Gooden, and Strawberry?

The Mets are in a no-win situation here. If they do nothing, they're seen as heartless bastards. If they retire 8, they're seen as opportunistic since they had chances to retire it years ago.

VERDICT: I'd like to see them retire the number. This is a franchise that built a statue for a player who never wore the orange & blue so I don't think it's too much to ask to honor one of their own. A great Met and even better man.

I know they're going to do something to honor him, I just hope they do right by someone who always did right by everyone else.

The Devil's Den - Introduction

2012-02-21T08:34:00.001-05:00

I was just going to jump into the first blog, but then I thought I’d do more of an introduction to what I plan on doing with the blog and give everyone an idea of where I’m coming from with things. I know I have a reputation for being really negative about a few things, but the fact is I like to think my negativity comes from a place of positivity in that I want things I enjoy to be better. Now, my opinion of better may not match yours but that’s where a lot of my so-called negativity comes from. With that being said, this blog is mostly going to be about entertainment (television, movies, books, comics, etc.)

I’m going to admit, I like a lot of shitty television and movies and books and I’ll concede the fact that they are bad. But it doesn’t change my enjoyment of whatever it is and the reason I get drawn into these bad forms of entertainment are characters. A show or movie or book can be horribly written, have plot holes you can drive tanks through, or just not have any real deep quality but if it has a character I can connect with or a relationship, whether romantic or friendship, that speaks to me as a viewer or reader.

My tastes have varied from comedies to dramas to procedurals; science fiction to crime to soap operas, etc…but the underlying fact between all of these genres that I enjoy is that there’s a hook that brings me. That’s not to say it’s only characters that can make me watch a show, but it is a major factor and it also works the other way. I can see the quality of certain shows but I also haven’t enjoyed them as much as so-called lesser quality shows. I understand that Seinfeld was a great show but I didn’t like the characters so I could never rank it as one of my favorite shows, yet a show like Entourage which could never be considered good, I enjoyed a lot more because it was a show with likeable friendships between the core cast. That’s just one example and as I continue to do these blogs which will be more of a review of my week watching tv or movies or reading books or comics, you’ll get more insight to characters/shows/books I’ve enjoyed (Peter Bishop/Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and things I’ve disliked even after being told I should enjoy them (Boardwalk Empire, The Killing, among others)

So starting next week, hopefully, this will be a place to get my thoughts on what’s going on in the worlds of television, movies, comics, and books. I’ll have reviews of anything I’ve watched or read as well as news and gossip on upcoming releases or debuts. I will appreciate feedback either here or on the forums and will be open to suggestions/comments/criticisms.

Altaku - The Walking Dead: Triggerfinger

2012-02-20T10:40:00.000-05:00

On last week's episode of The Walking Dead, we were all pleasantly surprised to see what looked like the beginning of Rick developing some balls and taking control of the overall situation he and his merry band of mentally challenged misfits have been thrust into. Tonight's episode, "Triggerfinger", did its best to demolish all of that progress in under sixty minutes, returning to the show's status quo of Shane being the only character capable of seeing the bigger picture in terms of the group's survival.

The show begins with the aftermath of the car accident involving Lori, who impulsively took off alone to find Rick, Glenn, and Hershel, largely because rationality is something out of Lori's comprehension. Two zombies are accosting our unfortunate heroine as she scrambles to escape the wreckage of the car, proving once and for all that zombies are not married to the idea of feasting on brains. By happy accident, Lori is able to dispatch the threats. Meanwhile, back on the farm, it has been hours since Lori has disappeared and the approximately dozen or so people there have just now noticed she's gone. Carol asks feral manchild Daryl, exiled to the backyard for presumably not being housebroken, if he has seen Lori, but he screams something incoherent about Sophia at her, completing Daryl's transition from one of the show's more interesting characters to one of the show's less interesting caricatures. Shane takes off after her, because Shane is the only person that can make a decision without half an episode of fretting over it.

In town, Rick, Glenn, and Hershel are hiding out in the bar as the friends of the two Jersey guys they killed last episode show up searching for their buddies, which turns into a firefight when Rick admits that he had to shoot the duo. Why these people are wasting tons of ammo and attracting zombies over two dead guys who seemed to be total assholes anyway is never explored. Glenn and Hershel try to sneak out the back door, leading to a scary moment where we think Glenn might have been shot. Hershel is forced to shoot the gunman, but Hershel is probably still drunk from the previous episode, so instead of a killing the gunman, it just injures him enough for him to lay around moaning and crying, which attracts the zombies, who begin to eat him in front of poor terrified, boozed-up, elderly Hershel. Rick regroups the trio, and they watch an idiot kid who had been searching for them try to leap off the roof of a building into the bed of a pickup truck. When the kid predictably fails, his friends leave him behind. This is the point where you or I would probably laugh and compliment karma on her timely intervention, but not Rick Grimes. No, in Rick Grimes' zombie apocalypse, you can't just leave an injured moron who had literally been trying to kill you less than three minutes ago behind, and in spite of Glenn's protests, Rick and Hershel risk their lives to rescue their would-be killer.

Shane manages to find Lori- granted, all he had to do was drive forward from the wreckage and look for the stupid woman walking in the middle of the road, but I'm not sure this simple feat could be accomplished by anyone else at the farm- and the only way he can coax her into going back to the farm and having her injuries tended to is by fibbing to her that Rick has already made it back to the farm. This kind of little white lie is a pragmatic one, but doing things to keep his friends alive is what makes Shane the show's de facto villain (OK, full disclosure: Shane sacrificing Otis to the zombie mob and still being in love with Rick's wife are why Shane is the show's villain, but actually going above and beyond to keep the party alive are supposed to add to the reasons why we should dislike the character, although without Shane they would all be dead). Upon arriving back at the farm and finding Rick not there, Lori reacts as if Shane has just given her the Chris Brown treatment, even though in actuality he has probably saved her life for the umpteenth time, and Shane accidentally reveals her pregnancy to the one person who still isn't aware of it, her son Carl, who takes the news as if he is somebody who contributes anything and is therefore somebody who needs to be consulted about stuff like this (spoiler alert: he isn't), causing Lori to do what Lori does second best: storm off in a huff (putting people in unnecessary peril is what she does best, should one find oneself wondering). Her anger is unfounded though, as Rick and the gang return just moments later with the kid they've rescued from town. Somehow, someone (probably Glenn) at least had the good sense to blindfold him, but nonetheless, Shane is understandably furious with Rick's display of compassion for somebody who had been trying to kill them and pointed out that his friends may be looking for him. Hershel, still all butthurt about the barn incident, reminds Shane that this is HIS farm and if he doesn't like what they're doing, he can go live in a sleeping bag in the tall grass with Daryl and his weird collection of squirrels and ears.

As the show draws to a close, Dale is mouthing off to anyone who will listen that Shane is dangerous, and Lori uses her vagina to get what she wants from Rick, and what she wants is Shane dead. When Rick shows reluctance to do anything about the growing tension between Shane and the group, Lori tries to get into Rick's head by telling him that Shane thinks the baby is his. She finally appears to have Rick considering the possibility of taking action against Shane. Personally, I'm kind of rooting for Shane.

Random Moosings - ROH Review 02-18-12

2012-02-18T16:47:00.000-05:00

We open with a recap of the Eddie Edwards – KyleO’Reily match from last week. There’s Davey Richards, just like lastweek. And yep, there’s Adam Cole aswell. And just like last week, Eddie andAdam challenge Davey and Kyle to see which team can be the wolfiest wolves inthe world.

Kevin Kelly and Nigel McGuiness are in the ring,they are still in Du Burns Arena in Baltimore and NO ONE is leaving until theyget the whole thing RIGHT! It’s been three weeks people, we are notkidding. Young Wolves Rising, that’swhat they’re calling the Richards/O’Reily vs. Edwards/Cole match. Kind of sounds like a gay porn title thereguys. TONIGHT! Our main eventis………cancelled. It was supposed to beWrestling’s Greatest Tag Team vs. The Young Bucks but Shelton is suspendedbecause he does not feel $5000 is a fair price to pay for hitting a Briscoewith a chair. So what are we going to dotonight? Main event handshake? Main event debate? Main event promo? No wait, this is not WWE.

And……here comes Charlie Haas. I’ll bet he has things to say! Charlie Haas calls Mark Briscoe adumbass. Evidently if you hold a chairup, the Briscoe’s can’t help but run into it. Interesting. Like moths to aflame so are the Briscoes heads to a chair. He calls out the Briscoes, and I think you can see where THIS isgoing. Charlie wants a match betweeneither the one that can’t shut up, or the one that is too dumb to talk. I believe he will get what he wants. Haas gets Mark Briscoe tonight, and Jay getshandcuffed to the ringpost. That soundslike a poor plan.

Jimmy Cornette comes out and knows Shelton is inHouston because he was Skyping with him. Something you want to tell us Jimmy? Jimmy has the sense to realize that this is a bad set up, but once againreassures us that Shelton IS in Houston. For real. Cause there is no wayyou can fake that.

Up next, KEVIN STEEN!

Commercial time – Team Ambition (that is what theyare calling Davey and Kyle. Wow). Face Eddie and Adam. Eddie and Adam are not the best promo guys inthe world.

KEVIN STEEN vs. ANDY “RIGHT LEG” RIDGE

Another recap of Steen killing Mondo and Tavenlast week. Steve Corino is out oncommentary because he is an expert on the elusive Kevin Steen. I hope he goes all croc hunter and tries tofind his cloacae and then Steen stabs him through the heart. I don’t like young Mr. Ridge’s chanceshere. Steen hits a fallaway slam on theoutside throwing Ridge right into the barricade. Ouch. Then KILLS him with a powerbomb on the apron. Fucking OUCH! F-6 ends it. Steen pretty muchkilled this kid. Of course Steen isn’tdone after the bell. He sets Ridge upfor a package piledriver, Corino heads to the ring to stop him. Jimmy Jacobs heads to the ring as well andbrawls with Steen. Jimmy Jacobs reallylooks like a pretty boy. Jacobs callshimself an evil man. I don’t know whathe has done to be evil, someone fill me in.

Commercials!

Veda Scott talks to Davey and Kyle. Davey is not very good at promos either. So we have four guys in the ring who canwrestle, but none of them can talk all that well. I guess that is good, that means they willnever be in the WWE.

EDDIE EDWARDS & ADAM COLE vs. MATT TAVEN& MIKE MONDO

Evidently Taven is a replacement for Mondo’snormal partner, but I have no idea who that is. Gee, two guys who had a match last week are teaming this week. What could go wrong? Taven and Mondo get more offense in than Ifigured they would. I am still not soldon Mondo. Miscommunication between Tavenand Mondo lets Cole hit a bridging German on Taven for the win. Decent match. Mondo is not happy with Taven, slaps him after the match and PLANTS himwith a DDT. TAVEN AND MONDO EXPLODE!

Inside ROH

-Truth Martini cancelled the payment on the checkthe Briscoes stole. Ok. Did this really need to be explainedfurther? I guess they are going to pushElgin and Strong as more than just one off contenders to the tag titles. That is fine with me. Truth says there is a big difference betweentruth and facts. Are there? Not so sure about that.

- Briscoes vs. Bucks at the 10^thAnniversary show. The Bucks think theyare going to win the titles. I thinkMatt called them Chicken fuckers. Thenhe called them dorks and dweebs. Ooooohhh scary!

-Jay Lethal defends against Tomasso Ciampa. But first, next week Lethal challenges Richards. Lethal is looking forward to the match,becoming the first guy to hold both titles. Lethal wants Ciampa’s title……of undefeated male. Lethal also claims he is not going to getdominated by Ciampa. What is going on inROH tonight?

-The Embassy talks. Ciampa wants the title. Ciampa sounds like the Batman. It’s not a flattering comparison.

-Maria and Bennett are out, Bennett will faceLance Storm at the Florida show. Uh,when was the last time Lance wrestled? Someone said he wrestled recently and looked good, I’ll take their wordfor it.

Commercials! – local commercial for the AcmeDating company. No lie. I guess we have reached the point wherepeople looking to date now have never seen Road Runner and knows Acme productsare crap.

Also a local commercial for King’s Auto thatsounds like it is voiced by Prince Nana, only not as good. Gotta love local commercials.

CHARLIE HAAS vs. MARK BRISCOE

MAIN EVENT TIME! Jay is handcuffed to the ringpost. I am sure that will not come into play later or anything. Good match between the two of them, theybrawl a lot, Briscoe is better than I thought at wrestling. Haas kills him with a German suplex but can’tkeep him down. Briscoe unleashes REDNECKKUNG FU! Then hits the FROGGIE-BO! But can’t keep him down. Haas recovers and goes for an Olympic Slam,Briscoe escapes and gets a roll up for a three. Haas is not pleased and attacks Briscoe and steals the key from thereferee. Uh huh. Haas gets a chair and CRACKS Mark while Jaylooks on helplessly. Or, he just held upthe chair and Mark ran into it, depending on your point of view. That is going to cost Haas five grand. But wait, what is Haas doing? He heads to the announcers and pulls out anenvelope……..that’s $10,000! Five grandfor Shelton, Five for what he did tonight! Where did he get the money? DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNNN!

Next Week! Davey Richards vs. Jay Lethal!

The View From Down Here - Carlos Zambrano Says "No Hard Feelings"

2012-02-17T11:41:00.000-05:00

When Carlos Zambrano walked out on the Cubs after getting roughed up during a game in Atlanta late in the 2011 season, it was a forgone conclusion by most fans (myself included) that he had just pitched his last game for the team. Zambrano's antics over the last several years, as well as his empty promises that he had "changed", had become just too much of a distraction for a clubhouse that was trying to end 100+ years of futility.

So, even though he met with new President of Baseball Operations, Theo Epstein, and was told publicly that he would be given the opportunity to win his teammates' trust, it was no surprise when he was shipped off this winter to Miami to play for his BFF, Ozzie Guillen.

Carlos recently sat down with Cubs' beat reporter Carrie Muskat to discuss the trade, as well as what he sees for his future in Miami:

“I was very happy when I found out about [the trade],” Zambrano told reporters at the golf event. “I think it was time for a change and obviously this trade benefitted me.”

While Zambrano says he believes he could have returned to Chicago, he admits it was probably a good time for him to move on.

“I don’t think it would have been difficult,” Zambrano said about staying with the Cubs. “I’ve changed my mentality and God has helped me change a lot of things about how I am. It all depended on the work I was going to put in and the mentality I would bring back to them.”

He threw a no-hitter and several tantrums with the Cubs, but Zambrano says he has no ill feelings toward the team.

“I’ve always had a lot of respect for the people of Chicago,” he said. “From the fans to the front office, I want to thank them for treating my like a professional for the past 11 years. All I have for Chicago is gratitude and respect.”

Zambrano is also grateful for what his new manager did for him. Marlins skipper Ozzie Guillen lobbied to get Big Z.

“I’m very thankful that Ozzie pushed to bring me here to the Marlins,” Zambrano said. “He’s a manager that is dynamic. I am a big supporter of his mentality as a manager and I am very happy to have the opportunity to play for him on this team.”

I defended Carlos probably a lot more than he deserved. Just ask Solly and Mikey. But it was his time to go. He needed a change of scenery, and he needed it BAD.

Zambrano also states in the article that he is in great shape, even hitting 97 mph on the gun. There was never any reason to doubt that he would bounce back in 2012....at least physically. There were legitimate concerns, however, that it would happen in Chicago, thus the reason for the trade. Even if he bounces back and does well in Miami, which I kind of think that he will, that does not mean he would have done the same in Chicago. It would have been a completely different atmosphere.

It was always said that Zambrano had raw talent that was just as good as, if not better than, both Kerry Wood and Mark Prior. The three of them were supposed to carry the Cubs to not only one, but many World Series Championships over the course of their tenure in Chicago. We all know what has happened over the course of those years. Unfortunately, due to his temper, his attitude, and his tirades, Zambrano will always be one of the bigger "what ifs" in Cubs history.

At least the Gatorade machine will be safe now.

The View From Down Here - Really? REALLY? Really?

2012-02-17T10:08:00.002-05:00

What is it about Florida that makes baseball ownership come up with (or, at the very least, approve) such horrible ideas? Is it the nearly unbearable heat? Is it the insanity caused by listening to a nearly endless loop of "Small World"? First it was the Marlins new logo and uniforms. Now this:

The Tampa Bay Rays are set to unveil their new mascot, DJ Kitty, at this weekend's Fan Fest. Yes. You heard that name right - DJ....Kitty.

Apparently, DJ Kitty is a real life representation of a scoreboard gimmick the Rays have had for several seasons (see video below).

It doesn't look like he will be replacing the beloved Raymond, but he (she?) will be serving as a secondary mascot.

I don't know about you, but when I go to a baseball game, I want to see the game, not gimmicks. Having one mascot, I guess I can understand, especially as a newer franchise that wants to attract a younger crowd. Two, however, is overkill. Throw in those damn cowbells at the Trop, and I'd rather just stay away.

Sollywood - 8

2012-02-16T20:56:00.000-05:00

The beauty of baseball is that the connection you have with a player is greater than any other sport. You have the ups and downs of 162 games, year after year. They're YOUR guys. So when a player from your childhood dies, it’s like a part of you died.

I’ve been a Mets fan since 1984 but didn’t really get into it until ’85, which just so happened to be Gary Carter’s first year as a Met. To a kid, Gary Carter was the player you wanted to be. Someone who had fun playing the game. Someone who did it the right way.

Aside from him being one of my favorites, he was one of my mom’s too. We got a new dog in 1989 and when it came time to give her a name, I suggested Sandy (I was in the middle of re-reading Carter’s autobiography and just finished the chapter where he met his future wife, Sandy). Mom loved the name and the player. She was always participating in the “GA-RY” chants during his many curtain calls. I couldn’t help but think about her when I heard the news today and I'm glad they’re both in a better place.

The demons that have plagued the 1986 Mets have been well documented, but the appeal of Carter was how he seemed to rise above the chaos. A family man, a religious man, he was someone who left EVERYTHING on the field. In today’s age of selfish me-first players, this was a man who signed every autograph, posed for every picture, and was thankful for what he had. This was someone who never took what he had for granted.

What really shook me today was how this AMAZING man who did nothing wrong was struck down by this awful disease and taken away from his family way too soon. My condolences to them.

Rest in Peace, Gary Edmund Carter. You will be truly missed.

The View From Down Here - R.I.P. #8

2012-02-16T19:53:00.000-05:00

Baseball prematurely lost a great one today when Gary Carter lost his battle with brain cancer. He was 57 years old.

Admittedly, I don't know enough about Carter to do a proper tribute. I'll leave the eulogizing to Solly.

But I will say this. Much like when Ron Santo died back in 2010, fans of another storied franchise are mourning the passing of one of their most beloved players. And as a Cub fan, I know how each and every Mets fan feels right now. As rivals, we may give each other a lot of grief, but I don't wish anything like this on fans of any team.

R.I.P. Kid. You will be missed.

The View From Down Here - Play Ball!

2012-02-16T03:30:00.000-05:00

In honor of pitchers and catchers reporting this week......

The View From Down Here - 2012 MLB Preview: The Kevin Smith Version

2012-02-15T14:17:00.000-05:00

With the 2012 Major League Baseball season fast approaching, and fantasy baseball drafts beginning in earnest all over the country, I decided to take this opportunity to examine some of the more intriguing storylines heading into the season. Without further ado, I give you the 2012 MLB Preview: The Kevin Smith Edition.

You gotta boil it down to the essentials, It's like Cube said, "Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money!"

With a payroll approaching $200 million for the 6th straight year, New York Yankee players should have plenty of both. (Not to mention, they've even created their own line of cologne/perfume.) But, even after spending all that cash, will they be able to come out on top of the AL East trio that also includes Boston and Tampa Bay?

All right-bring on the free hooch!
What will the Red Sox budget for fried chicken and beer in the clubhouse this year?

After a second straight 3rd place finish (following a September collapse reminiscent of the Cubs' last 3 playoff appearances) the Red Sox shitcanned Terry Francona and hired Bobby Valentine in an effort to clean up the clubhouse and the play on the field. Will Valentine bring the Red Sox the World Series Championship that the fans expected in 2011?

I'm 37?!?!?
Mark Reynolds hit the same number of home runs as Albert Pujols last year. Doesn't matter. The Orioles still suck.

Come on Silent Bob. We're goin' to Hollywood!
Much like LeBron and Chris Bosh to Miami, Albert Pujols and CJ Wilson are taking their talents to LA, after signing for a combined $317.5 MILLION. The question is, will it be enough to take down reigning back to back AL Champs, the Texas Rangers and give the Angels their 6th AL West Championship in 9 years?

I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
I beg your pardon?
Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
After possibly setting a record for the largest one year drop in payroll in MLB history, I don't think New York Mets fans will appreciate ownership trying to convince them that this year's team is major league caliber. They may even battle the Astros for the title of the worst team in baseball. But look on the bright side. Maybe the fans will finally forget about the "2007 Collapse." NEVER LOSE SIGHT! Right, Solly?

You're chasing Amy.
Silent Bob's story was used as an allegory for the old saying "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." St. Louis Cardinal fans are going to find out the hard way that losing Albert Pujols, Tony LaRussa, and Dave Duncan will hurt more than they realize.

I'm disgusted and repulsed.....and yet I can't look away.
With the Chicago Cubs in full on rebuilding mode, this is probably going to be an ugly season. Luckily, the new look Cubs, and the kids in the minors, should show enough flashes to keep people watching and give Cub fans hope for the future.

There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
The Houston Astros have been ranked dead last in Sports Illustrated's first Power Rankings of 2012. Fielding what is essentially a AAA team, and having no impact players in their farm system, they could very well make history for their futility this year. And the future doesn't look much better.

What the hell gives with the cover boy?

Will 19 year old phenom Bryce Harper break camp with the Nationals big league club? Jon Heyman spoke with Nats GM Mike Rizzo. He seems to think it's possible.

"We're take a look at him and see where he's at developmentally. If we feel he's ready to play at the major-league level, we're not going to restrict him. We'll be cautious yet open-minded. If he gives us the best chance to win, we'll keep an open mind and see where it takes us.''

For the sake of my fantasy team (yes, I picked him up in our minor league keeper draft the day the Sports Illustrated cover story was released) I hope he sticks with the big boys.

16? I thought she was 36. Come on guys. Tell me you wouldn't have popped her.
Probably one of the lone bright spots on the Cubs' roster in 2012, Starlin Castro, was recently accused of sexual assault. Though no charges have been filed (at this time), it will be interesting to see if he can continue to improve on his already impressive rookie season and sophomore campaign, or if this accusation will hang over his head, affecting his gameplay.

Time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed.
OK, admittedly, this one is hitting below the belt. But with Josh Hamilton relapsing for the second time, isn't it fair to assume that this is something that is going to be on the minds of the Rangers' brass, as well as the fans, this year and in the future? Why else would they table their discussions for an extension?

Say. Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
Following a 99 loss season, is it possible for the Minnesota Twins to actually be worse? After losing Michael Cuddyer (their lone All-Star representative), Jason Kubel, and Joe Nathan, and adding Josh Willingham, Jason Marquis, and Jamey Carroll? Yes. Yes it is.

Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.
The Miami Marlins added nearly $200 million in talent to go along with their new ballpark and "stylish" new uniforms. They better hope that Ozzie Guillen can get them to the promised land soon or it will be a lifetime before they can recover from all that money they have spent.

Finally,
Also for the record, he LOVES the cock!
So, Mike Piazza wants to go into the Hall of Fame as a Met? Good for him.

The View From Down Here - Yep. This About Sums it Up

2012-02-15T03:30:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of TheHeckler.com...

Happy Valentine's Day from Pun's House!

2012-02-14T10:25:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of "Where's Randy Savage?"...

Northern Reflections - The 2012 Grammy Awards

2012-02-13T10:49:00.000-05:00

So, the Grammys happened last night. I’m still not sure what they were trying to accomplish with the show, but it was pretty terrible. It seemed really disjointed and nonsensical in parts. There were plenty of technical glitches. They let Nicki Minaj do whatever the hell it was Nicki Minaj did. And they celebrated Chris Brown as a returning hero, rather than blackballing him or, at the very least, acknowledging that he’s a deplorable fucking scumbag. I got a bit of a late start on the tweeting, but I got caught up. Most of the typos are courtesy of my iPod, which is not the ideal mass-tweeting method.

Without further ado, accompanied by a bottle of wine and a few beers, here’s what I saw.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
#ChrisBrown managed not to punch any ladies on stage. Kudos.
12h Matthew Brown @geekcanuck
@psychofish77 he also managed to look like Q-Bert but without... You know... Any fun.
Retweeted by Michael Hodge
In reply to Michael Hodge

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Catching up, Springsteen was the Boss, the LL prayer for Whitney was unnecessary and probably offensive, that Bruno Mars was a lot of fun...

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Alicia Keys is pretty and amazingly talented, they gave Adele an award for something, #ChrisBrown danced in jean tights, and country music.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Dude's mic died. I know what his next song will be about.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
In other entertainment news, 2-1 #Flyers over Red Wings in the 2nd. Hate the Wings even more than the Rangers.

12h Flawedcast @flawedcast
Great to see Chris Brown do all his hits. Except for those hits he had on Rihanna's face because he's a woman-beating piece of shit.
Retweeted by Michael Hodge

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
How is the Grammys nog airing live on the West Coast? That's barbaric.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I mean, it's happening live on the West Coast. Did they need a 3-hour delay in case #ChrisBrown snaps and starts beating up women?

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Jack Black is trying to talk over screaming women to introduce the greatest rock band on Earth today.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
The Staples Center cannot contain the Foo Fighters. They had to play outside so as not to blow the fucking roof off.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
5-6 song mini-concert? Awards can wait.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Apparently, Real Housewives of Vancouver is happening. Way to go, assholes. I guess the embarrassment from the riots has worn off.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Was watching hockey and missed the intro. No idea who the singing lion is here. Terrible song though.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
In related news, it's 2-2. I rivalry-hate the Rangers, but I hate the Wings on a level usually reserved for German dictators.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Guess lion-lady is Rihanna. #ChrisBrown should punch Coldplay. It'd be a great PR move.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Jesus. This is fucking terrible. I've never listened to a whole Coldplay song before.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
It's inexcusable that people think this is good music. Those people should be neutered. And shot. And beaten by #ChrisBrown

12h Flawedcast @flawedcast
Like, the kind of drunk where you're pouring more booze down your throat around the exiting vomit.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast I thought he was making vomitus noises there.

12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
On Whitney: she made a lot of really bad choices that led to her early death. That she used to have talent makes it no more or less tragic.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Is Coldplay the new Nickelback, or have both been shitty for an equal amount of time?

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
If best rock performance goes to Coldplay, music is broken

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Thank you. They gave it to the only ROCK artists of the nominees.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Played off. Guess Dave pissed the producers off by talking about real music.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Next up, legendary surf band...Maroon 5?

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
At least dude can sing. That said, bring out the Beach Boys. And @JohnStamos

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I don't think mash up means what the Grammys producers think it means. It's not "randomly throw together"

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
The Beach Boys weren't thinking 50 years out when they wrote all those high notes.

11h Flawedcast @flawedcast
The Beach Boys just blew Maroon 5 and Foster the People off the stage. #Grammys
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast what's a Foster the People?

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Wait wait wait. A tribute to today's dance music with the Foo Fighters? Color me intrigued.

11h Flawedcast @flawedcast
@psychofish77 That was those queers.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast I thought that was Maroon 5

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Stevie Wonder can do whatever he wants. The man has earned his place among the legends.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Nice of Stevie to intro Sir Paul. I really hope we don't get any Band on the Run bullshit here.

11h Michael Watson @MDWDFW
Legends like Chris Brown and Bruno Mars apparently? RT @psychofish77: Stevie Wonder ... has earned his place among the legends.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@MDWDFW someone needs to hand Stevie a lead pipe and aim him at Chris Brown.
Fred Solomon @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 @MDWDFW Like a pinata? Sweet.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
McCartney as played by Dana Carvey at the end there.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Best R&B album goes to...Chris Brown. He beat the shit out of the competition

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
"I don't know what to say." Sorry would be a good start, asshole. #ChrisBrown

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
This Chris Cornell looking dude has a good sense of humor and a good voice. Also, what did Taylor Swift win two of already?

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I really don't like Taylor Swift. I hate her music, but I also have something against her as a person for some reason.

11h rob delaney @robdelaney
REMEMBER KIDS: It's not enough to punch a woman to win a Grammy. You also have to steal dance moves & lip synch poorly.
Retweeted by Michael Hodge

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
"Production number" is code for "not singing". At the show where they're giving out awards for singing. Niki Minaj has balls. Probably.

11h Flawedcast @flawedcast
Coming up: Adele accidentally confuses her microphone with her eclair #overfeedback
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast Coming up: a performance from One of the Bella Twins.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
NPH makes his obligatory award show appearance presenting songwriter of the year.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Adele (the Bella twin) wins. She's gracious and British and quick.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Oh Kate Beckinsale. You're so pretty.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
If that was an intentional fuckup in the Katy Perry act, it was poorly executed. If not, nice recovery.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Best country album goes to someone I've never heard of. I assume. They're still going through the noms.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Award goes to Lady, Andy, Bellum. Apparently a popular country trio.

11h C.B. Cebulski @CBCebulski
So Dave Grohl gives that amazing acceptance speech about making music naturally again, and then they send them off to LMFAO?!
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@CBCebulski Cut them off with.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
How has no one pulled a Nancy Kerrigan on #ChrisBrown? Never a Gilooly around when you need one.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Also, fucking Red Wings. The #Flyers have some serious problems right now. Gotta win some games, boys.

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Pepper Potts out to introduce Adele, who will sing a song I've never heard.

11h Flawedcast @flawedcast
Kelly Osbourne looks good.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast I had no idea the Bellas were British

11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Not my style, but Adele wasn't at all offensive. Tons of talent there.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I still don't know what two Grammys Swift won, but she's out talking about Glen Campbell, who has "altimers disease". Fucking idiot.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I don't retain info like memories of past Grammys, but this show seems to be 1/2 country and a 4:1 ratio of music to awards, which seems odd

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Way to try to look entertained, crowd. Sadly, you look like I feel.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I muted it. Did they just list nominees for Lifetime Achievement Award? That would be awesome.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
The country theme continues with Carrie Underwood. And Tony Bennett.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Tony Bennett...who apparently won a Grammy tonight. Did I miss the awards show, and this is the world's worst after-party?

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Or did Tony Bennett and Taylor Swift win awards for editing that didn't make the broadcast?

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Bon Iver, who was not, as I thought, an AC/DC singer, won best new artist. Seems like an ungrateful douche. But they played Grohl off.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
We take care of our own. Unless her name is Rihanna. We take care of our artists in their times of crisis. Unless, you know.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Music Cares about everyone but Rihanna.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Beat up our women, but don't download our songs. #MusicCares

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Poor dead Heavy D
Fred Solomon @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 Poor poor dead Heavy D

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Lengthy dead reel this year. Clarence Clemons should have been last.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
To give Whitney a special segment at the beginning and a song after the dead reel is ridiculous. Disrespectful to the other dead.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Where the fuck was Kevin Costner last night? Some bodyguard he turned out to be.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Those women dancing with #ChrisBrown look pretty nervous.

10h Flawedcast @flawedcast
This is a good lesson to young men: don't hit women or you'll only get two performances at the Grammys. #ChrisBrown #FuckThisGuy
Retweeted by Michael Hodge

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Disappointing that Foos decided to play their instruments, not beat #ChrisBrown to death with them.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Now I don't know what's happening. Scary mouse DJ took over.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I never thought I'd be wishing for more and/or longed acceptance speeches. They seem to have foregone the awards portion of the awards show.

10h Tim Micallef @tim_micallef
Anyone else notice...Deadmau5 was lip syncing!!! #Thatssome...
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@tim_micallef Until you retweeted "wa5", I thought it was "Deadmaufive". #outoftouch #okaywiththat

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
They keep telling me people won awards, but they're only showing awful performances.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
This Minaj chick isn't even pretending to sing all the words.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
This isn't shocking or controversial. It's just bad.

10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I guess this is like SNL, where the last 30 minutes are filler.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Why can't they just call it Song of the Year? A record is the same thing as an album. Album if the year shouldn't be a separate award.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Also, "venti" means 20. Congratulations, you're stupid in three languages.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
This is probably the worst awards show in history. And I'm including the ESPYs.

9h Andy Gaston @DiarrheaVolcano
@psychofish77 There's Song of the Year, Record of the Year and Album of the Year. It's very confusing.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@DiarrheaVolcano Wait, really? At least one of those is redundant.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Hey it's Michael Jack...nope, Diana Ross.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Album of the Year goes to not Foo Fighters.

9h Andy Gaston @DiarrheaVolcano
@psychofish77 It's a moot point anyway, because Adele won all three.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@DiarrheaVolcano They probably just got confused and said fuck it.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Okay, Adele. Shut up and let McCartney close the show. I need this to be over.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I think LL Cool J just offered to fuck America

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
It would have been funnier if Carveh was actually playing Paul here. Not like he was busy doing anything else.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Remember the Joe Strummer tribute? This show should be embarrassed to be associated with that show.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Six guys with guitars on stage. I recognize three. Surprised Bruce stuck around. Paul should be on bass. Dave looks like he's having fun.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
That was superbly awful. I went in with high hopes and was very disappointed. Adele won all of the awards and #ChrisBrown is a hero. Awful.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
My main takeaway from the show is that I really have no idea who won anything. This awards show had almost nothing to do with awards.

9h Andy Richter @Andy_Richter
Everyone at the Grammys is orange.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@Andy_Richter Chris Brown won't punch pylons #littleknownfact

9h Neil Patrick Harris @ActuallyNPH
Great Grammys! Bravo to the entire gang that produces this show. Seriously, from backstage it's unreal. Crew, handlers, producers: bravo!
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@ActuallyNPH From my couch, it was terrible. No idea who won awards, lots of mic problems, Nicki Minaj. Just terrible.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I guess Dave Grohl was the yin to Chris Brown's yang. Wrote and sang songs, didn't beat up women. Didn't wear denim tights.

9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Coldplay is a shittier Radiohead.

Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Goodnight, Psychophants

Altaku - The Walking Dead - Nebraska

2012-02-13T09:36:00.001-05:00

Today's blog comes from Monday Night Flaw podcaster, Chris Alt. Chris hopes to be able to be a semi-regular contributor to Pun's House, so if any of you have any suggestions for a title for his column, feel free to post them in the comments:

The first half of The Walking Dead's second season was, to say the least, not especially well-received by most of its rabid fanbase. The criticism is understandable, for the most part- the pacing tended to weave between "methodical" and "glacial". The first handful of episodes revolved around our protagonists hunkering down as largely unwanted guests on a farm while searching for a little girl from their group who had gone missing. This led to lots (and lots, and lots, and lots) of tense moments with their cranky host, and more importantly, and perhaps unfortunately, some character development.

One of the reasons zombie movies and other forms of media are virtually everywhere are because they're typically a lazy writer's dream. In a two hour movie or a zombie-shooting video game, you don't need characters, just archetypes people can use to distinguish one bit of zombie fodder from the others. Nobody really needs to be anything more developed than "ex-special forces badass" or "hotheaded jerk" or "pampered rich girl" or "token black guy" because chances are they're just going to die anyway, and even if they don't, well, it's the end of the world and their only motivation is survival. Not a lot of room for subtle nuance, and none is necessary.

As an episodic television series, TWD wasn't going to be able to survive for long on the archetype formula, so with an extended second season, character development was inevitable, but the writers threw us all for a loop by making nearly every single character on the show into some kind of retarded asshole. I spent most of the last six episodes wondering why Glenn- the only character on the show who is consistently a reasonable facsimile of an actual human being that you or I might know- doesn't just grab the little boy and flee this band of dysfunctional lunatics. Rick- the show's main character- went from being the tough, smart cop and backbone of the show to a guy too worried about morality after the apocalypse to show a backbone, showing an almost Ned Stark-esque obsession with being noble and honorable that would have gotten him killed a dozen times over if his presence wasn't necessary for the show to continue. Shane went from Rick's hothead buddy to an insufferable prick (although, while primarily serving as the de facto "villain" of the show, Shane is certainly the most interesting, as he seems to be the only character who truly realizes that there is no place for nice guys in the end of the world. Shane deeply values self-preservation over morality, and for that reason we are supposed to hate him), Dale went from "affable older fella" to "meddling dipshit who has to be caught up in absolutely EVERYBODY'S business", Carol went from "barely noticeable background character" to "aggressively useless background character", Andrea went from "pretty blonde" to "insane loose cannon", and Lori just sort of became a pain in the ass. None of the people we're supposed to grow attached to as viewers benefited from the time they were given to let us get to know them.

Business picked up within the last five or so minutes of the last episode of the break, when the group discovered and mowed down grumpy farmer Hershel's private menagerie of zombies he'd been keeping in his barn, including Carol's missing daughter Sophia, rendering the endless searching for the girl a waste of time.

The first episode after the break, titled "Nebraska", seems to suggest that the pace for the rest of the season should pick up significantly. Life at the farm is chaos in the wake of the great zombie barn slaughter. Hershel and his kids are mourning the deaths of his (zombified) wife and her child; the group is mourning the death of Sophia- except for Shane, who's (understandably, sort of) mostly just pissed to learn the girl was in the barn the entire time. It's decided to bury the three that were actually important to Rick's group and Hershel's, and there's a short but effective scene that shows a quiet memorial service followed by all the characters going off in separate directions. After that, we get Rick trying to make peace with Hershel, Darryl trying to comfort Carol, Shane growling at Dale some more, and Maggie choosing a fairly awful time to try to wrangle Glenn into a commitment.

Just as it seems we're in for more methodical pacing, things pick up as Hershel finds an old flask and decides to give alcoholism a shot, disappearing from the farm just before his stepdaughter Beth collapses while doing dishes. Maggie has a hunch that he's gone to town to drink alone at a bar- Hershel is really diving headfirst into this alcoholic thing- and Rick and Glenn head off to find him. Lori, because she's Lori and needs to give Andrea competition as the most erratic and irrational character on the show, takes off after them, but runs into trouble when she runs over a zombie and flips her car. Rick and Glenn find Hershel at the bar, because that's just sort of what people are going to do amongst the zombie apocalypse, and Hershel tries to tell them to get bent. Rick gives him a sufficient enough pep talk to get him off his drunk ass, but they trio is interrupted by the arrival of two creepy men who apparently represent the redneck portion of New Jersey. The strangers hint that they'd appreciate taking refuge on Hershel's farm, and when Rick refuses they take a more forthcoming approach, with guns. For the first time in recent memory, Rick shows some spine by discarding the law and kills the two bozos, and the show ends with Rick incredulous to discover that he has a spine, and Lori laying in a ditch somewhere.

Overall, it wasn't a home run of an episode, but it showed promise for a more interesting second half of the season, if not a more exciting one.

Random Moosings - Let the Hype Begin!

2012-02-11T20:54:00.001-05:00

Here we go again.

Anyone who knows me knows I love a good argument. They also know that I can be a bit stubborn and argue a point to death. There have been epic arguments in chat over baseball – one in particular was where Pedro Martinez ranked among the all-time great pitchers. Some said he was the best, but I argue that he is second behind Walter Johnson. I am not discounting Pedro’s numbers, they were amazing, but Johnson’s numbers were off the charts.

The thing with an argument like that is you have numbers and history to back them up. You can hype Pedro or Walter Johnson, or any other baseball great, and no one is really going to look at you odd because they ARE legends. They ARE great, they have the history to back that up; it is pretty much indisputable that they ARE great, the fun is debating where they rank among the other all-time greats.

It seems like the media (I am looking at you especially espn) doesn’t much care about letting a player actually build a resume before they are content to call them OMG LEGENDS anymore.

I had a real problem with the media hype of Tim Tebow. The guy is an average QB who had a hot streak against mediocre teams and led his team to the playoffs at 9-7. That is all well and good, he had a nice run. To hear espn talk, he was the second coming of Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas and Bart Starr all rolled into one. What made it even worse about pointing out that Tebow was, at best, a below average quarterback, is that people just jumped to the conclusion that you hated him because of his religion (which I do, but that is not the point). The media completely glossed over the fact that he was not a good quarterback and chose instead to point out that “hey, all he does is win games.” Well, Trent Dilfer won a Superbowl, and no one is arguing that he was a great quarterback. Instead, the media just leached onto this guy and drove him down everyone’s throats.

Now, there is a counter to this argument, since he won another Superbowl (somehow) people are getting on the Eli Manning bandwagon. Now, in this case, you can make the argument. Eli has a body of work that you can look at and argue logically. He has been the starting QB for the Giants for years and has built enough of a body of work that you can compare him to the all-time greats. For the record, I don’t think he is an elite QB, I think he is in the top 5-10 quarterbacks in the game right now, I think he had a great year. I think it was also not very long ago people wanted to run him out of New York and questioned if he even understood what a quarterback was. You can make the argument that he is elite because you have the numbers, Tebow has played, what, about eight games? Half a season and the media has him in the hall of fame. Ridiculous.

Football is not the only sport that falls prey to media hype. The NBA currently has its own OMG HE IS GREAT! player. I don’t follow basketball all that much, quite honestly I find it pretty boring, but I do know that this kid has played something like four games, and people already have him as the next great thing. I know his story, he is an undrafted kid from Harvard that has stuck around and clawed his way to the show, playing for the Knicks. He has had four very good games and good for him. This is a great story. But saying he is the next great player just seems absurd. Can’t we just enjoy an average player having a nice run before he comes crashing back to earth without putting him in the hall of fame? Maybe he won’t come crashing back to earth, maybe he is legit, but there is probably a reason he was undrafted. How bout we give him more than four games before we call him the next anybody?

And again, there is a counter to this argument. I am no fan of LeBron James. I think his whole Decision thing completely lacked class and was the ultimate HEY LOOK AT ME! move. That is not the point though, there are some that say he is among the all-time greats in the NBA, and that is a valid argument because he has a body of work that you can compare with the all-time greats and make that argument. Of course, some people were saying that about him straight out of high school, and in this case, hell they might have been right, but I have to think that is a one-in-a-million kind of thing. For every LeBron James who lives up to his hype (sort of, the “experts” also said he would have multiple championships by now, last I checked, he has none) there are plenty of guys who are complete busts (anyone remember Greg Oden? Didn’t think so). For the record, I think LeBron is among the all time greats, maybe somewhere in the top 10-15. I would not put him in the same category as Jordan, Bird, Magic, Kareem or even Kobe. He could very well end up there, but not yet.

I mentioned baseball, and I am not sure the media usually goes crazy over players as much. Maybe it’s because the long season generally weeds out the pretenders. Stephen Strasburg was the closest thing to the ridiculous media hype as he was burning through the minor leagues. His injury derailed that, but he should be back this year, it will be interesting to see if he returns to OMG AMAZING status. If he doesn’t, there is a good chance that his teammate Bryce Harper will. They both look like legit future stars, but they have not done a thing so far. How bout we give them some time to develop and put up some numbers before we deem them the next greatest thing ever?

So that is my dilemma. The media overhypes players to the point of ridiculousness, taking what should be a feel good story and beating it into the ground until you (well, me) starts hating the player instead of respecting what they are doing. I realize that is not fair, Time Tebow appears to be a genuinely good guy. Jeremy Lin is probably a good kid. Stephen Strasburg appears to be a good kid and Bryce Harper…..well he is kind of a dick, but in a good way. Other than Our Lord and Savior Timmy being a little too preachy, they have not done a thing hate worthy, but yet, there they are, on my TV screen making me want to turn the channel. All the while I can watch Michael Vick, Ben Roethlisberger and Ray Lewis – guys who have earned hate – and think nothing of it because the media generally does not hype them through the roof.

Is it fair? No. Is it rational? No. Is it the way this angry moose feels? Hell yes.

Random Moosings - ROH Review 02-11-12

2012-02-11T17:41:00.000-05:00

We are STILL live at the Du Burns Arenain Baltimore, Maryland. These fans arehardcore, they have been there for THREE weeks.

Kevin Kelly and Nigel McGuiness aretalking to start the show. Lethalretained last week, he gets a shot against Davey Richards next week. Dem Boys face the House of Truth, each teamhas put up five grand.

Kyle O’Reily is talking about EddieEdwards. He doesn’t appreciate whatEddie has been saying. Kyle hassomething to prove! TONIGHT!

Eddie counters by calling Kyle a douche(well not in so many words) and claiming he is going to kick his ass.

KYLE O’REILY vs. EDDIE EDWARDS

Kyle has a stupid side tattoo, I have noidea what it says but it looks dumb. Onething I generally dislike about ROH is their music, it’s like they bought stockin the Generic Metal Label and borrow heavily from that. We start the match with the intense handshakeof mutual dislike. Test of strengthleads to dueling headbutts, Kevin Kelly mentions the Nigel/Daniel Bryan titlematch. I dig that, glad they makemention of their past and don’t bury it like SOME other companies. Some great chain wrestling, Edwards trapsO’Reily in the ankle lock, and who comes out? Davey Richards. I am sure thiswon’t factor into things at all.

Commercial: Showdown in the Sun fromFlorida. Kevin Steen has an opinion onit. He is insane, and maybe a littlehigh. He makes sure the sun will bethere so he can get a tan before he destroys people’s lives. I love Kevin Steen.

We are back! Davey is rooting for Kyle,certainly hurting Eddie’s feelings even more. Holy shit. They do a spot whereEddie tries a suplex and they both fall over the top rope. I thought someone was going to die. Luckily, they didn’t. Eddie kicks the ringpost, silly Eddie, theringpost is not your enemy. Kyle worksthe leg, which is a refreshing change in the world of wrestling. Someone hurts something and you work it,interesting. Kyle reverses a roll upinto an ankle lock (seriously, there has been some GREAT wrestling in thismatch) and Adam Cole comes down. Who thefuck is Adam Cole? And more importantly,how is he related to WCW’s Cole twins? Adam Cole is openly rooting for Eddie Edwards. Well THIS is certainly a turn of events! Evidently there is some locker room secretabout Adam Cole, but Kevin Kelly is a tease and doesn’t explain it. Eddie goes all Kenta Kobashi (thanks Nigel)on Kyle and chops the holy shit out of him. Eddie gets the win with a somewhat anti-climactic roll up. Still, what a great match.

After the match, Eddie challenges Daveyand Kyle to a tag match with his NEW partner Adam Cole. Well ok then. The New American Wolves vs. the New Wolves or something I guess. It’s Wolfmania either way.

Steve Corino joins the announce team atringside, evidently he will do commentary on DVD releases. Ok then. We recap last week’s Steen promo, still great stuff.

MIKE MONDO vs. MATT TAVEN

Well this seems a little out ofplace. I saw Mondo a few weeks ago,meh. Never seen this Taven guy before,he looks like something straight out of 1990. Decent enough little match, Taven gets a “PAULEY SHORE” chant. No one deserves that. Ahhhh THIS explains this match. Here comes Kevin Steen. Steen wonders why these guys are wrestlingwhile he is not. Can’t argue with thatlogic. Steen continues to beawesome. He recognizes Mondo and sayshello. He doesn’t know Taven (whodoes). He calls him a cutie pie, whichCornette loves. Again, Steen isawesome. Steen wants to shake hands withTaven, this is probably not going to lead to anything good. No, it doesn’t. Steen KILLS Taven with an F5. Mondo celebrates with a hug to Steen. Bad move. Steen bites his ear, awesome, then F5’s Mondo. While Mondo was up in the F5, he was yellingHE BIT MY EAR! Awesome. Steen and Corino have an old fashioned staredown we get security out there, then go to commercial. Gotta say I was hoping Steen would come upwith something better than the F5 to replace the package piledriver. Maybe there is still hope.

INSIDE ROH

-WGTT are still pissed that the fansbooed them. We recap last week’s brawlwith the Briscoes. Cornette is finingthem ANOTHER five grand, which WGTTrefuses to pay. WGTT appears to beembracing this heel turn. Though, theysay they want another title rematch, they just had one last week. Who do they think they are, Batista?

-Cornette tells us that if Sheltondoesn’t pay, he is suspended. The plotthickens!

-Dem Boys talk about WGTT and TheBucks. One of them doesn’t know whetherto whip the Bucks ass or buy them flowers. He decides to whip their ass. Smart move.

-Tomasso Ciampa gets a TV Title shotagainst Jay Lethal at the 10^th anniversary show.

-Ciampa and the Embassy talk about theTV title shot. Meh. Prince Nana tries to make it all about him,but the tool lawyer cuts him off. How longtill there is a split?

THE BRISCOES vs. MICHAEL ELGIN &RODERICK STRONG

Three of my favorites in one match. I approve. The fans love the Briscoes, can’t say I blame them. I want some shorts like the Briscoes wear. They look comfortable as hell, and my hometown is just redneck enough that no one would think them out of place. Another mention of the Nigel/Danielson matchfrom England. Sounds like it was abrutal match. I would like to seethat. Whatever happened to the Puretitle anyway? This has been a greatmatch so far. The thing about theBriscoes is, they are insane, no doubt, but they can also wrestle too. I thought they were nothing but brawlers, butso far, nope, they can hang in a wrestling match too, which is cool. Elgin busts out the Hellevator, haven’t seenthat in a long time. Mark hits theFroggiebo, a frog splash elbow. Awesome. The match breaks down,which should surprise no one. JayBriscoe goes to the outside and Truth Martini throws salt or baby powder in hiseyes. GREAT old school manager move. God I miss managers. Briscoe does the smart thing and grabs abottle of water and clears his eyes, then leaves…….and comes back with abaseball bat. Gotta love theBriscoes. You throw salt, I hit you witha bat. The Briscoes use the bat on Elginand Strong, causing the disqualification and, in theory, costing them fivegrand, but the Briscoes end up with the checks.

Next week: Kevin Steen debuts and WGTT faces the YoungBucks. I can’t wait to see Steen.

Sollywood - TD or not TD

2012-02-10T22:26:00.001-05:00

As I bask in the glow of yet another Giants Super Bowl win over the Patriots, I’m debating whether or not the Giants should have taken more time off the clock as the game was winding down. I really do see both sides of the argument.

On one hand, you want to kill as much clock as possible so you don’t leave Brady with time to march down the field. You’re really playing with fire giving Brady 57 seconds and a time out. As it turned out, he was THISCLOSE to completing what would have been the most amazing finish in Super Bowl history. If Gronk’s ankle was fine, we're not having this debate, and I’m still wiping the blood out of my eyes.

On the other hand, nothing’s a given, and you take the points when you can get them, especially if the defense is letting you score. Say Bradshaw went down at the 1, was it a lock that he was going to score on the next three tries? It was Bradshaw who fumbled earlier in the game, not to mention the non-fumble call in the 49ers game two weeks earlier. Even if the Giants decided to kick a field goal, those aren’t gimmes either. Just ask the Ravens. I love Tynes but anything can happen in that situation. Bad snap, he slips, whatever.

What say you guys?

New music usually makes me grouchy - let's revisit something old

2012-02-10T08:15:00.000-05:00

Today's blog comes from PH Message Board Poster, The VP:

When is the last time you listened to an entire album from beginning to end? Like lay on the floor with the good headphones on (not the wimpy earbud shit), close your eyes and have the music so loud you can tune the rest of the world out? I learned that trick from my dad. Mom learned quickly to stomp on the floor when our attention was needed. How depressing to have to return to reality.

When I listen to the old metal hairband music now I often laugh. Cherry Pie is more comedy than music. People once took The Final Countdown seriously. It's true. Girls actually swooned and giggled at the men-sticking-their-tongues-through-peace-signs pictures that graced the pages of Metal Edge magazine.

If you haven't listened to all of Def Leppard's Pyromania in a while, it's time to take another listen. It won't make you laugh, unless you have a good memory of the videos. This music still gets to me. Crappy B-sides don't exist on this album. The obligatory power ballad to bring in the girls is omitted. I'll argue with anyone that the best albums of all time do not have power ballads.

1. Rock Rock Till You Drop - Don't listen to the words. Joe Elliot and Rick Savage were never the best songwriters. Great guitar, Steve Clark had a unique style that I always loved.

2. Photograph - Classic tale of the boy who falls for the Playboy of the Month girl. The video shows Marilyn, but we know better.

3. Stagefright - The world may end tomorrow, I am going off to war, we have to have sex RIGHT NOW by the dashboard light. Yet another 'we have to do it tonight' song that represents horny teenage boys with the added fantasy of having flocks of groupies around.

4. Too Late for Love - Some might argue that this one is the power ballad, but the music isn't slow enough and the lyrics are plain stupid (once again). Great guitar solo, slow buildup, intense middle and ending - like sex. Love this one.

5. Die Hard the Hunter - Time to make the political statement - which doesn't work when your songwriting skills are somewhat limited. My least favorite song of the bunch, but not enough to disqualify Pyromania from the 'great album' list.

6. Foolin' - Wow. Just wow. Every time I hear it this one gets to me. Play it at 11 and you'll get chills. Or maybe that's just me. It doesn't help that I wanted to marry Joe Elliot from age 12-21. Please forgive me.

7. Rock of Ages - THIS is the rock anthem of the 80s. Kiss's anthem was for the 70s and is another casualty of our time - I laugh when I hear it now. When asked to name one song that is an example of all 80s metal - Rock of Ages could easily be the one. Besides, like the Kurgen said, 'I've got something to say...it's better to burn out than to fade away'!

8. Comin' Under Fire - Uh, hey Beavis, he said come. heh heh heh

9. Action! Not Words - We've got another horny teen boy again - see #3. Terrible lyrics, good music.

10. Billy's Got a Gun - It wasn't Janie, it was Billy! No, this tale didn't start with Columbine. Go read the Bachman books. Also of note - You think Nirvana thought up the super long random ending to a record? No, they weren't original! Listen to the end of this one.

Mutt Lange showed up to help out with Pyromania and it is obvious. The sound and the band's musical ability definitely took a jump from High N Dry. You can wikipedia all the details, but I remember at one time record sales were right up there with Thriller. At the time that was quite a feat.

Have I tempted you to go dust off your old CD yet? Go take a listen and then come back and argue with me. It isn't any fun if everyone agrees with me! Play it for your kids - it's never too early to start influencing them away from the foul sludge of pop radio. Show them what a true work of art is all about.

The Bourne Legacy

2012-02-10T06:09:00.000-05:00

Jeremy Renner and Edward Norton? Count me in!

Big Gut Punch or BIGGEST Gut Punch?

2012-02-09T08:45:00.000-05:00

Today's blog is from Pun's House Message Board member Eric Creech aka Eric O'Mac. Let him know if you like it in the comments, and maybe he'll write more.

So, I just spent 45 minutes sitting on my couch, starring at a blank television screen, wondering “What in the world just happened?”

Austin Rivers just hit a huge shot. Biggest shot in Duke history since the Capel shot and this one means more because this was an actual game winner. As much as I hate Duke University, I will give them this bit of praise – they may be unpredictable, but in big games, they bring it and they don’t quit.

This post is not a whining post about Carolina losing to Duke, although it will contain a little bit of that, because it’s just my nature to whine about things when they don’t go my way. But while I was sitting on my couch, feeling like I was falling out of an airplane with no parachute, the range of emotions were incredible. I’m not sure where exactly this falls on the Bill Simmons levels of losing, but it feels like a stomach punch game to me.

As soon as the shot went in, I had to look away. It’s like watching someone you love get hurt. You just can’t watch. Almost immediately, I turned my Xbox off. During commercials, I was getting in some game time on NBA 2K11. I have no idea what my stats were during the game I was in the middle of, but whatever it was is gone.

My roommate smartly didn’t say anything to me. This is why we get along so well. He’s a State fan who knows how to keep most things in perspective, and he knows that I don’t take a Carolina loss to Duke especially well. He was especially amazed by the shot, but if he showed any outward praise to it, I honestly don’t remember.

I had another friend who was planning on crashing on my couch tonight. He, too, is a State fan. He came in during the second half and I immediately told him he was not allowed to show any negative comments against Carolina. I may be a bit harsh, but this was the first Carolina-Duke game in my very own house. If I get to watch the game in the comfort of my own home, then I don’t want a range of opinions on the game. That’s just how it is. If I wanted to be ticked off while watching a game, then I just simply wouldn’t watch it. Anyways, this friend of mine was told to leave the house after the game. And I made my friend stay outside in the cold for 45 minutes. I finally let him in and told him that I didn’t want to hear the TV and that I didn’t want to hear him say anything about this game.

So, yeah, I was pissed.

The question is, why?

Why do I let my emotions hinge on the outcome of a game? Why am I so invested in this game that I’m willing to kick a friend out of my house for 45 minutes?

One of the things I thought about while I sitting, staring in to emptiness was my grandfather. My grandfather had a heart attack Sunday morning. I found out about 10 minutes before I was scheduled to speak at a church. Luckily, he is going to be fine (and will get to leave the hospital tomorrow), but it spoke volumes to me about how short and fragile life can really be. In a moment, people are gone. Life is the ultimate swerve. You never see the end coming. Even when it’s expected, you are never prepared for the end.

So, let me ask, if I were to die in a car wreck tomorrow, how important would this game be to my overall life? The answer is not important at all. I would hope that in my life, I would have other things that I can point to as more important. I would hope that at my funeral, while the people giving my eulogy can say I was a die-hard Tar Heel Fan, I certainly wouldn’t want them to think that it was the most important fact about my life.

So why am I so worked up over a game? A game that, when it’s all said and done, won’t mean a single iota to me or anyone else? Beats me. I have no idea. I have no idea why this stupid game controls my emotions and no idea why my happiness is hinged on a winning score. No idea why this affects me the way it does. That’s fandom for you.

The one thing I know is that while I am certainly not happy with the outcome tonight, it taught me something. In life, we have the opportunity to get wrapped up in different aspects in life. If this game has taught me anything, it’s that I need to get more wrapped up in the important things first, so that when a time like this comes, maybe…just maybe, it won’t hurt as bad.

Will this ever happen? Who knows. Part of the journey of a sports fan is heartbreak from time to time. My only silver lining is that at least I can have some perspective about this game. No one died. All of my friends and family are still alive. I still have a job. And no matter what happened in this game, all of those truths still remain.

Now that I’ve had an opportunity to be grateful for all the things I have, will someone teach the Heels how to guard the darn three point shot?

Looking Down the Hall Part 2

2012-02-08T08:56:00.000-05:00

Here is the second installment of "Looking Down the Hall", a guest column from Pun's House Message Board poster, Sharky.

I am a huge fan of tag team wrestling. Tag team wrestling was at it’s peak in the mid 80’s. And one team in my eyes stood out above all the rest. I’m not ashamed to say they were my favorite team. They helped change tag team wrestling forever.

Ricky Morton , Robert Gibson, The Rock ‘N’ Roll Express.

Ricky & Robert began teaming together in 1983 in the Memphis territory. Memphis was known for producing great tag teams over the years like The Fabulous Ones, Steve Keirn & Stan Lane (yes THAT Stan Lane) Tommy Rich & Eddie Gilbert, Jerry Lawler & Bill Dundee, just to name a few. They were the young, energetic face team that the fans quickly fell in love with.

They left Memphis and joined Bill Watts’ Mid-South territory. Here they began a feud that would span over a decade and across numerous promotions; Jim Cornette’s Midnight Express. Loverboy Dennis and Beautiful Bobby seemed to bring out the best in Ricky & Robert. They lit up arenas throughout the territory and both teams became huge draws.

It was their next move that truly made the team great. They headed to Jim Crockett Promotions and immediately were thrust to the top of the tag title scene. They engaged in long running feuds with Ivan, Nikita Koloff & Krusher Krushev. The Russians would trade the titles back and forth with the Express a couple of times. The duo were regulars on WTBS “World Championship Wrestling” coming in with bandanas on their boots and upbeat music, they were a sensation.

Now, naturally, most of their TV matches were 80’s squash matches, used as a precursor to an interview segment with the “Winners.” And could Ricky Morton talk. He was charismatic, with Ric Flair’s wild eyes and Dusty Rhodes’ rambling southern drawl, the crowd ate it up, especially the women. Gibson was quiet and reserved, and normally let Ricky take the lead.

In the ring, they were top notch. Remember, this was the Golden Era of tag team wrestling, the mid 1980’s. The Russians, Midnight Express, Ole and Arn Anderson, Arn and Tully Blanchard, The Brittish Bulldogs, The Midnight Rockers, They faced them all. Four times they became World Tag Team champions, which means among their peers, they were among the best of the best.

Tag team wrestling was changing. Choreographed double team moves were just coming into vogue. And Ricky & Robert were right there at the forefront. Storytelling also changed and grew more dramatic. The now familiar “Face-in-peril / Hot tag” spot that nearly every tag team match these days uses? It’s called “Playing Ricky Morton” He did it so well, you were convinced that there was no way he would get out of trouble, and every time, Robert would get the tag, come in, clean house, and the bad guys would retreat. Because if they didn’t, Ricky would find his second wind and one Double-Dropkick later, the bell would be ringing.

It wasn’t just their matches that got imitated. Their look, the long hair, Rock N Roll music fit right in with the 80’s scene. Teams in other territories began popping up that bore a striking resemblance. The Rock N Roll RPM’s in Memphis, The Midnight Rockers in the AWA. In fact, The Rocker’s Shawn Michaels lists one of his early influences in his career being the times he traveled through Mid-South with… Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson. They were young, energetic, and good at what they did.

Like a lot of stars of the 80’s, when the business changed, so did their role in it. Ricky & Robert slowly became mid-carders and saw their TV time reduced. By the time the Attitude Era rolled around, they were well past their primes. They made a couple of appearances on RAW during the Cornette/NWA angle, playing cowardly heels this time, but the magic was gone.

I present to you, candidates for the Hall of Fame, The Rock ‘N’ Roll Express.

The View From Down Here - Will This be the Greatest Summer for Superhero Movies Ever?

2012-02-07T08:32:00.000-05:00

Fresh on the heels of the Avengers Super Bowl trailer, Marvel has released another trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man. This one shows much more action and plot development than the first trailer, released several months ago. It also gives us our first glimpse at Dr. Curt Connors, aka The Lizard. Check it out below.

When you consider this movie is coming out in the same season as The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises, this could be one of the best summers for comic book geeks in, well, ever.

The View From Down Here - Bring on Baseball!

2012-02-06T10:57:00.000-05:00

Now that football season is officially over, it's time for America's TRUE past time. And to get everyone ready, here's a highlight reel of some of the best plays from last year.

The View From Down Here - Best Superhero Movie Ever?

2012-02-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

Personally, I always love seeing the new movie trailers during the Super Bowl more than the over hyped beer ads and the GoDaddy commercials, where they swear you're going to see some naked chicks if you visit their website. (Spoiler - you don't.) The best one of the night had to be for The Avengers. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this movie.

Congratulations Giants!

2012-02-05T21:46:00.000-05:00

Random Moosings - ROH Review 02-04-12

2012-02-04T16:43:00.000-05:00

We open with a recap of a pretty goodthree way TV title feud between Jay Lethal, Mike Bennett and El Generico. I didn’t catch quite all of this feud, but ithas been pretty fun. Plus we get to seeMaria. Dear sweet god we get to seeMaria. That is always a good thing.

In ring open with Kevin Kelly and NigelMcGuiness in the ring, we are still LIVE at the Du Burns Arena in BaltimoreMaryland. Crowd was HOT last week,hopefully they keep it up this week. Kelly announces a Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett with no time limit, thenMcGuiness completely repeats it. Odd.

Mike Bennett and OH MY GOD MARIA promopackage. Still not buying Bennett,though having Maria by his side helps. Maria becomes the First Lady of Ring of Honor…….well, I guess sincethere are no other ladies that I have seen……

JAY LETHAL vs. MIKE BENNETT – ROH TVTitle Match No Time Limit Bennett,Brutal Bob and Oh My God Maria are out. McGuiness with the early line of the night “If I told Maria she had alovely ass, do you think she would hold it against me?” You could only be so lucky Nigel. ROH TV title matches are generally fifteenminutes, keep that in mind. I may not bea big fan of Bennett, but he is a good wrestler. Not spectacular, but good. There is just nothing to make you interestedin him, except for Maria. Did I mentionMaria looks insanely hot tonight?

Commercial break: Bennett and Maria pimpthe ROH Florida show. So far this hasbeen all Bennett all the time.

During the commercial break, Bennettnearly decapitates Lethal with a clothesline. Also, I think I figured out what it is about Bennett. He does a lot of moves well, but he doesnothing great. Bennett is not smart, helets Lethal stay on the floor for a 17 count instead of rolling him back in(ROH uses a 20 count outside the ring) also, he had Lethal down pounding him,and could have got a stoppage (ROH does that too) but just stopped. Little things like that. Lethal wins the match with a crucifix. Nolie, a crucifix. Kind ofdisappointing. Also, the match wentabout 11 minutes. Kind of odd that theypump it being a no time limit match, then it doesn’t even go the 15 minutes anormal tv title match would go.

Veda Scott (hey, another woman in ROH!)interviews Eddie Edwards, who basically calls Kyle O’Reilly a bitch. Kyle takes umbrage with this and challengesEdwards to a match next week. I stilldon’t care about that drama, but it should be a fun match.

KEVIN STEEN HAS THINGS TO SAY This is his in live debut on ROH tv I guess. They recap Kevin Steen killing Jimmy Jacobs, Steve Corino and ElGenerico, I really never get tired of this. Kevin Kelly sells the hell out of not wanting to interview Steen, thenSteen just dismisses Kelly and tells him to leave the ring, but not beforeasking him to hold his gum. Steen bringsthe awesome, seriously, this guy seems very natural on the mic, he plays anuncaring douche very, very well. Steentakes a nice shot at TNA and WWE, saying “other” promotions let their top starsget away with far worse. Steen calls outDavey Richards, which should be a whole lot of fun. Steen calls out Cornette, and Corny showsup. Cornette really appears to hateSteen. Cornette bans the piledriver inall forms, and I love Steen’s reaction to it. Most heels would throw a fit, Steen just accepts it. The whole angle is very reminiscent ofPunk/Vince though it may be even better, just on a smaller scale. Great promo, Steen is awesome.

INSIDE ROH!

- recap of the 8 man match that went 80 minutes(which was awesome) evidently Michael Elgin and Roderick Strong are not happywith the Briscoes so there will be a match. Yes please. The Briscoes agree toput up $5000 and so did Truth, winner take all.

- The Briscoes counter this accusation by beinginsane and awesome. Next week, theysquare off.

- In three weeks, Davey Richards faces JayLethal. Davey comments on it, and man,this guys promos are about as exciting as watching paint dry. Should be a good match.

- The All Night Express comments on Rhett’sinjury. I haven’t really seen enough ANEto have much of an opinion on them. Igive them an incomplete. They are notvery happy with the Young Bucks though (Rhett was injured in a match againstthem).

- The Young Bucks get a title shot at the Briscoesat the 10^th anniversary show. That could be a good match I suppose, though I am not really sold onthat one.

Commercial break – The Young Bucks talkabout their match against the Briscoes. I think they are a little full of themselves. Still, should be a fun match.

Veda Scott talks to the Young Bucksabout their match against the Briscoes. I feel like I have seen this before. This is an odd show this week.

WRESTLING’SGREATEST TAG TEAM vs. THE BRAVADOS – We are informed that the show isrunning late on time. WGTT is not happyabout facing the Bravados and refuse to wrestle them. They want the Briscoes and will hold ROHhostage to get it (lots of that going on tonight). Haas and Benjamin seem to be embracing theirinner heels really well. They call outthose slack jawed yokels the Briscoes, and naturally they get their wish. Cornette is out first, looking frustrated, hehas lost control! Finally Dem Boys makeit out, and we have an impromptu title match. They brawl for a bit, and it occurs to me, how great would it have beento see the Briscoes vs. the Dudleys back in old ECW? Jesus that would have been great. WGTT take the cheap way out and crack one ofthe Briscoes with a chair ending the match, but certainly not the feud.

Next week, Briscoes vs. House of Truthand Kyle O’Reily vs. Eddie Edwards. Sounds good!

The View From Down Here - Mike Quade is Still Relevant?

2012-02-03T14:59:00.000-05:00

Even though he has been fired since the end of last season, Mike Quade is still making news in Chicago. A recent article in the Chicago Sun-Times by Daryl Van Schouwen suggests that Quade took exception to these comments made by new manager Dale Sveum when he was hired:

“When you lose that many games, there are obviously problems,’’ Sveum said. “Losing isn’t OK. Not running a ball out isn’t OK. It’s unacceptable, and that has to be communicated.’’

Bravo, Dale. Bravo. At last, a Cubs Manager who gets it, finally saying what every Cub fan has been thinking for years.

There is nothing I have hated more over the last few seasons than to see Aramis Ramirez jog out a grounder. Or Alfonso Soriano trot to first base on a ball he thought was gone, only to turn a double or triple into a long single.

Quade had this to say in response:

“I can’t be bothered because I was pretty damn happy. Did everybody run out every ball? No. That’s going to happen with a lot of people [on a lot of teams].

Well, Mike, if you were happy with the Cubs' performance last season, then it's probably a good thing that you are no longer with the organization.

During the 2010 season, Fredi Gonzalez, then manager of the Florida Marlins, benched Hanley Ramirez for dogging it on a ball that got by him in the field (one that he booted no less). Hanley is ten times the player Aramis or Fonzie is. Perhaps if Quade had done something like that from the outset, he would still have a job.

The Microwave - All Time Royal Rumble

2012-02-01T19:29:00.000-05:00

[An overhead shot of Madison Square Garden opens us up, and the shot fades into a wide shot of a jammed packed arena as Vince McMahon welcomes us from the broadcast area high overhead. It quickly becomes apparent that this isn’t Mr. McMahon, but pleasant announcer Vince McMahon, circa 1990.]

VKM: Welcome to Madison Square Garden! And welcome to the ALLLLLLLLL-TIME ROOOOYAL RUMMMMMMBLE!! I’m Vince McMahon along with my partner Jesse “The Body” Ventura! [shot pans out to include both Vince and ‘88 era Jesse Ventura]

JV: McMahon, even you couldn’t ruin a spectacular event like this one! I haven’t been this jacked since my DVD royalties for Predator started rolling in!

VKM: It’s going to be a special night here in the Big Apple, as the best Superstars from the Royal Rumble era have all returned for a one night only event. Every Royal Rumble in history will be represented in the ring tonight!

JV: And every number drawn will be represented, too, McMahon. So we could have 1995 Shawn Michaels come out at number 1 and... hell, McMahon, YOU come out as the #2 entrant from 1999! I’d like to see that!

VKM: Well, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation!

JV: Yeah, no kidding, McMahon! We’re using a time machine to stage this match tonight! I haven’t even tried to legalize prostitution in Minnesota yet!

VKM: Let’s go to ringside with J.R. and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan!

[2000 Jim Ross and 1992 Bobby Heenan are at the ringside announce table.]

JR: Well, thanks, Vince. And Brain, what a concept for a match! We’ve got Superstars from 1988. We’ve got Superstars from 2008. We’ve got everything in between and...

BH: And we’ve got Flair! And to be fair to Flair, you’ve got to acknowledge that Flair drew #30 in 2005. And if he gets the same draw tonight, we might as well not even waste our time holding this match, JR. It’s in the bag!

JR: He drew #1 in 1993 and 2007, too, Brain. So he could be #1 tonight, too, you ever think about that?

BH: Ross, the man went an hour versus the strongest Rumble field in history and won the thing in 1992. He’s not worried about it.

JR: Well, this certainly will be the strongest Rumble in terms of participants ever. 23 former World Champions in all. We have no undercard here tonight. This is the main event. Let’s take it to The Fink!

[Howard Finkel is in the ring ready to announce the rules of this All-Time Royal Rumble match.]

HF: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the ALL-TIME ROYAL RUMBLE! [cheers] The rules of the Royal Rumble are as follows. 30 Superstars will compete, two will begin the match, every two minutes thereafter, another competitor enters the ring. Elimination occurs when a Superstar is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. Every Royal Rumble in history will be represented by participants in tonight’s match, and their order of entry will be determined by what number they drew in the year in which they represent. After all 30 men have entered the match, the last man in the ring will be declared the winner!

#1 is 2004 Chris Benoit, drawing the biggest heel heat of all-time by the 2012 MSG crowd. Not often you get to boo a murderer in a wrestling match five years after he killed two people and himself. 2004 Benoit, however, is perplexed by the reaction, but doesn’t care. Heenan makes weight machine joke. #2 is 2006 Rey Mysterio so prepare for the workrate. They go at it with Rey bouncing all over the place and Benoit trying to keep him on the mat. Rey escapes a couple of near-eliminations, and #3 is (did you expect any different?) 1992 Ric Flair. Bobby loses it... again, and JR is up to the task in Monsoon’s role in poking and prodding him. Helluva three way fight ensues between the three former Rumble winners, and it breaks down into the former Horsemen kicking the crap out of Rey until...

#4 is 1998 Rock! Huge pop for the then-Intercontinental Champion. But that Rock was a heel, and after making the big save and laying the smack down on Benoit and Flair, Rocky helps Rey up, only to toss him over the top to the floor to a mixed reaction. Benoit gets knocked thru the ropes and to the floor, then it’s ROCK BOTTOM for the Nature Boy! People’s Elbow and The Rock is playing it up big for the crowd. But it’s time for #5 and it’s 1997 Steve Austin! KICK WHAM STUNNER for Benoit and he gets tossed. Austin gets as far as the KICK and the WHAM, but Flair flops before the Stunner, which leaves the Austin-Rock staredown of death! Rights and lefts as the crowd explodes. Austin reverses an Irish whio and it’s the LOU THESZ PRESS!! RIGHT HANDS LIKE PISTONS!! Rocky fights back and looks for Rock Bottom, but Austin elbows out and gets the STUNNER! Rocky oversells it like a fish out of water and bounces over the top rope and is eliminated! That segment took up the whole two minutes and...

#6 is 2001 Kane. Austin says bring it on and Kane obliges, and despite his best efforts, Austin eats a chokeslam. Flair pulls himself up and tries to make good with the big man, but Kane’s not buying that and Flair gets kicked down for his troubles. Kane tosses Stone Cold, but Austin holds on and Flair clips Kane’s knee from behind. Austin tackles Flair and they brawl, but turn around into a double clothesline from Kane as #7 is 1994 Diesel! This could be interesting. Diesel of course takes his time getting to the ring, allowing Kane to choke out both Flair and Austin. Finally, it’s a staredown between Kane and Diesel, and that winds up with Kane eating a big boot. Side salto slam for Kane, and Austin takes Snake Eyes. Flair tries chopping Diesel down, but that’s not gonna work, and Diesel plants Flair with the Jackknife powerbomb. Kane’s back up and wants a chokeslam, but Diesel fights that off and tries to dump Kane. Kane blocks that, but as they struggle along the ropes, Austin comes back and dumps both of them! #8 is 2009 Randy Orton and Austin is less than impressed. But before Orton can get to the ring, Flair drops Austin with a low blow and Orton pounces. Orton and Flair double team Austin. Orton misses an RKO, but Flair hot shots Austin onto the top rope and tries to flip him out, but Austin grabs the apron to block and pulls himself back in. Austin and Flair get into a chop-off, and as soon as Austin gets the upper hand, Orton flies in with the RKO. Orton goes for the elimination, but 1993 Mr. Perfect is #9 and Flair shits a brick.

Perfect kicks away Orton and then corners a cowering Flair. Austin corners Orton, and they both STOMP A MUDHOLE AND WALK IT DRY! Orton and Flair get whipped into each other and both flop face first to the mat. Perfect loves it, but Austin catches him napping and turns him inside out with a clothesline. Every man for himself. Austin tries to toss Perfect, but he skins the cat back in. Orton charges at him, but Perfect backdrops him over... onto the apron. Orton snaps Perfect’s throat off the ropes, allowing for a great Curt Hennig selljob. That’s all the opening Flair needs to unload on Perfect as 1995 Rick Martel is #10. Martel gets some token offense in, but Orton sneaks up from behind and dumps him about 45 seconds later. So we’re back to four. Austin and Orton trade shots again as Flair chokes out Perfect in the corner.

#11 is 2005 Chris Jericho. Jericho goes after Orton and Austin pulls Flair off Perfect. Flair begs off, but Austin gives him the finger and stomps him down. Jericho and Orton have it out, with Y2J getting the upper hand. Perfect nails Austin from behind and tries to dump him out to no avail. Jericho wants the Lionsault but just gets the knees of Orton, and Flair tosses Jericho over, but Jericho hangs on by a sliver and skins the cat back in, only to meet Flair and some chops. #12 is 2008 C.M. Punk, and Punk and Perfect go at it in a dream match of sorts. Orton tries a leapfrog on Austin, but gets caught and subsequently crotched on the top turnbuckle. Austin climbs up and slugs away, and Orton falls to the apron, but rolls back in, only to see Austin turn around on the middle rope and hit a diving elbow. Flair tries the figure four on Jericho, but Jericho counters into the Walls! Flair’s tapping but that’s worthless, and Punk lays out Jericho with a running enziguri.

Perfect and Flair pair back off as #13 is 1988 Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Hacksaw’s in with the 2x4 and the refs immediately try to wrest it from him. That doesn’t work, and Hacksaw swings it around like a madman, sending everyone ducking for cover. Punk sneaks up from behind though and get the Go To Sleep. That reopens the Rumble for business, as everyone throws down, and Flair tosses Duggan over the top to eliminate him. Perfect and Jericho square off and Jericho blocks the Perfectplex and looks for the Walls. Perfect fights him off, so Jericho settles for... you guessed it... catapulting Perfect into the post, which sends Hennig staggering around the ring right into a Stone Cold Stunner! Austin goes for the elimination, but Punk hooks him in the Anaconda Vice! Flair and Orton stomp away at Austin until Jericho flies in with a spinning leg lariat and the buzzer sounds for #14...

And it’s 2003 Eddie Guerrero. Eddie sneaks around and grabs the discarded 2x4, slides in, and wallops Punk to break the hold. He laughs at his work, then tosses the 2x4 to Flair, and when Punk sees the Nature Boy with it, he tees off on him. Perfect’s up and wants some of Guerrero while Orton and Jericho have at it again. Flair stops Punk’s assault with a low blow, and Austin’s back in it now as we have a 7 man fight, becoming an 8 man fight upon #15: 1992 Roddy Piper. This should be fun. Piper storms the ring and punches everything that moves. Orton down, Jericho down, Eddie down, Flair down, Perfect down, Punk down. Austin, however, goes for the Stunner, but Piper catches the kick and gives him the Three Stooges eyepoke to a huge pop. Piper settles on beating the ever loving hell out of Flair for old time’s sake. While that’s going on, Orton lines up Jericho for an RKO, but he gets shoved off, and Eddie pulls the top rope down, sending Orton over and to the floor. He’s pissed.

2010 Miz is #16 and he stops to cut a promo about being awesome halfway down the aisle. Once he gets in though, he’s not so awesome, and Piper immediately tosses him. Eddie and Piper get into a cheat-off, between pulled hair, puled tights, foreign objects from the tights, using the ropes, which is broken up by Flair coming over to chop the hell out of both guys. Austin and Jericho slug it out and Perfect and Punk fight in the corner. #17 is 1996 Owen Hart and he goes right after Austin, allowing for an awesome Canadian double team along with Jericho. Austin blocks the sharpshooter though, and Jericho charges out of control and gets dumped to the apron, where Perfect comes over and knocks him to the floor. But Flair sneaks up behind Perfect and dumps him, too! Piper pulls Flair back by the hair and sends him to the corner for a Flair Flip. Flair runs the apron, of course, and goes up top, and Piper tries for a slam, but Flair goes to the eyes. Piper then tries a superplex instead, but Eddie runs over and pushes Piper over the top and to the floor. Flair flops back to the canvas. Piper’s incensed and Eddie just shrugs. But while Eddie’s mugging for the camera, Punk throws him over the top and to the floor, too! Punk turns around into the Stunner, however, and Owen tosses him. Austin tries the Stunner on Owen, but Owen counters that into the sharpshooter. Austin tries for the ropes, but Owen drags hm back center of the ring. But when Owen drags him back, Flair gets up, grabs him by the hair and tosses him from behind, leaving just Austin and Flair again. Flair flops in celebration, having been in the match 30 minutes now. Austin is down gathering his strength back when the buzzer sounds for #18...

And it’s 1991 Randy Savage! Having never officially entered the ‘91 Rumble, the Macho King is determined to make up for it here, going right after Austin, kicking the hell out of him. Flair ponders giving an assist, but opts to keep his distance. Top rope elbow for Austin draws a big pop from the crowd, and Savage just keeps beating on him, drawing blood. As soon as Flair steps into investigate, Savage drops him with a right hand and continues working over Austin. Stone Cold tastes his own blood though, and fights back, and they slug it out in the middle of the ring until Flair blindsides both of them, knocking them thru the ropes and to the floor. Flair thinks he’s got a moment, but #19 is 1999 Ken Shamrock, and Flair’s begging off before Shamrock even gets to the ring. Needless to say, Shamrock decimates Flair with kicks, punches, and a belly to belly suplex. Anklelock gets the worthless tap out, and Savage breaks the hold via a double axehandle from the top rope. Austin follows back in and grabs Flair, so the four men pair off. Savage chokes out Shamrock in the corner while Austin tries to dump Flair when the buzzer sounds for #20. 2005 Kurt Angle is out, complete with fireworks and the “You Suck” chant. Angle does the whole spiel, complete with the spin in the center of the ring, but then realizes nobody is stopping to fight him. So Angle goes over to break up Austin and Flair, but both guys turn and drop him with a knife edge chop. Austin and Flair stomp down Angle in the corner, with Austin intermittently kicking Flair away. Macho blindsides Austin, leaving Shamrock free to drop Flair with a belly to back suplex. Another anklelock, but Angle breaks the hold, telling Shamrock he’d doing it wrong. So Angle slaps the anklelock on Flair, who taps again. Shamrock breaks that up and applies his own back on Flair. Finally, Angle decides it’s not worth it and grabs the OTHER ankle and we’ve got a double anklelock. This is DEFINITELY not fair to Flair! With Savage and Austin tied up together, Flair is saved by, of all people, #21...

1990 Ultimate Warrior! The crowd goes nuts as the Warrior storms the ring, clotheslines Angle and Shamrock. Diving shoulderblock to Savage! Austin gets walloped. Shamrock gets clotheslined to the floor! Angle gets tossed over, but holds on. Savage tries some punches, but those get no-sold. Austin’s go unsold as well. Flair staggers up and Warrior hoists him up with the gorilla press, dropping him facefirst on the mat. Austin and Savage realize the only way to deal with this lunatic is to team up on him and they set aside their differences for the time being and lay into Warrior, beating him down on the ropes. Warrior keeps fighting up, but Savage isn’t having any of that. Angle’s back over to help out, but he and Austin get into it, which ends up in Angle hitting the Olympic Slam! Macho King tries dumping Warrior the hard way to no avail and #22 is 2002 HHH! Lights, entrance, water spit, the works, but Angle knocks HHH off the apron before he ever gets in! Angle goes to the floor to work HHH over, which doesn’t go as planned, and HHH drags Angle back in. HHH wants the Pedigree, but Angle backdrops out, but when Angle pops back up, Savage cloteslines him over and out to the floor! HHH goes after Flair as Austin and the Warrior meet one on one in the middle of the ring. Stunner is blocked, but Austin escapes the gorilla press and shoves Warrior over, but he hangs on. Savage and Austin rush over to try to kick Warrior off the apron, but HHH comes thru and dispatches both of them.

#23 is 2007 Shawn Michaels, as the star power just keeps going up here. Shawn and Hunter team up to beat down everything that moves. Down goes Savage. Down goes Austin. Down goes Flair. Down goes Warrior. Superkick for Flair. Pedigree for Warrior. But Savage clocks Shawn with the scepter and kicks Helmsley in the balls to stop that little run. Savage goes to the top, but before he can come down with the big elbow... #24 is 1991 Hulk Hogan!! Macho King steps off, awaiting the Hulkster, WHEN THE MEGAPOWERS EXPLODE!! Hogan naturally slugs him away. Flair gets clobbered. Warrior is back up and now it’s THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE!! Hulk and the Warrior exchange lefts and rights, with Warrior getting the upper hand. Hulk turns the tide, but Warrior avoids the big boot, but doesn’t avoid Sweet Chin Music that sends him over the top and to the floor!

2001 Undertaker is #25 and it’s his yard and all that stuff. DX keeps their distance, trying to come up with a plan. Hogan works over Savage, so when Austin jumps Michaels in the corner, that leaves only Flair for Taker to go crazy on. And he does. Old School, chokeslam, Last Ride, and Flair might be dead. Taker’s gonna spread the wealth though and goes to beat down HHH, peppering in shots to Austin and Michaels, too. Taker turns for Hogan, though, and Hogan’s not having any of that. Taker gets the finger wave, but he counters that with a big boot to the face, and that puts Hogan down. Savage is on that like a shark smelling blood, and the Macho King puts the beats on the Hulkster. #26 is 2000 Big Show, and he wastes no time in helping Savage beat down Hogan. Taker isolates Austin and goes to work on him, while Michaels goes to dump Flair, but Flair somehow hangs on the apron. Show with a chokeslam for Hogan, and Macho hits the big elbow!! No Hulk Up here, but Savage gets greedy and wants another one, so HHH calmly walks over and shoves him off the top and to the floor! Taker and Show have their big man showdown, with neither guy getting much of an advantage.

#27 is 2011 Jack Swagger and it doesn’t look too good for him. Sure enough, Swagger’s in, and Taker and Show put him right out with a double chokeslam elimination! Austin is up. Flair is up. Whip to the corner, and Flair does the Flair Flip. Austin goes for the kill and clotheslines him, but Flair hangs onto the bottom rope and slides back in. HHH jumps Austin from behind, and gets help from Michaels, but Taker jumps into help. Show and Hogan have it out, and Hogan slams the big man! Flair clips Hogan’s knee though and goes to work on it, dragging him to the ropes, and placing his ankle on the middle rope. Flair jumps on the knee, and directs Show to do the same. But when Show lines Hogan’s leg up, Flair grabs Show’s knee and dumps him to the floor! He outsmarted him, much to the delight of Heenan. The joy doesn’t last long, however, as #28 is 2004 John Cena! Cena cuts a freestyle rap on the way to the ring, then unloads on Flair. Cena helps Hogan to his feet, and the two of them go to town on Flair before the Nature Boy decides he’s had enough and rolls out of the ring to escape the beating. This leads to a six way brawl between Austin, HHH, Shawn, Hogan, Taker, and Cena. In the melee, HHH turns on Shawn and tries to toss him, but Shawn skins the cat back in. Michaels is pissed and superkicks HHH, only to get eliminated by Taker!

Shawn’s irate, and HHH is amused at Shawn’s tantrum, only to have Hogan clothesline HIM out, too! Upon exiting, Shawn grabs Flair and throws him back into the ring, where Cena and Hogan are waiting for him. Flair tries to run, but Cena grabs him and plants him with the F-U! Hogan goes for the elimination but instead gets the STONE COLD STUNNER! And it’s a good one, too, complete with Austin getting down in Hogan’s face with some choice words. #29 is 2003 Brock Lesnar! Brock immediately goes after Hogan, but can’t toss him. Cena and Austin square off, but that gets interrupted by Taker, who decks both guys. Tombstone for Cena, but Cena reverses to his own! But Taker reverses back to HIS own and plants him! Flair’s back to his feet but gets welcomed by Lesnar, and Flair bumps all the way across the ring. Taker drags Cena up and goes to dump him, but Cena catches him in a chokehold, pulls Taker over the top, too, and hangs on while somehow leveraging Taker to the floor! That doesn’t sit well with the Dead Man, and Taker rolls back in and kills Cena dead with a Chokeslam From Hell. Taker spits his tobacco juice on Cena for good measure. Time for our final entrant, who of course is...

1989 Ted Dibiase, who bought #30 off Slick in one of the all-time great angles. All the money in the world doesn’t help him here though, as Austin’s waiting on him. Lou Thesz Press! Right hands! Hogan’s back up and gets some of the Million Dollar Man, as well. Austin with an inverted atomic drop on Dibiase, who sells it like he’s been shot. And Cena staggers up long enough to backdrop Dibiase over and out! But Lesnar comes across and clotheslines the hell out of Cena, sending him over and out to the floor! This leaves a Final Four of Flair, Austin, Hogan, and Lesnar. Flair wants nothing to do with Lesnar, resulting in another Flair Flip, but this time Hogan grabs Flair on the way to the adjacent turnbuckle and rams his head into the post, sending him to the floor after 59 minutes in the ring! Heenan loses it, saying he’s suing Hogan for everything he’s worth. However, as the Hulkster as words for Flair, he turns around into the F5!! This leaves Austin and Lesnar to have a staredown... only to see Hogan HULK UP!! Austin and Lesnar can’t believe it, and Hulk’s no-selling everything now. Down goes Austin. Big boot for Lesnar. Big boot for Austin, though, is blocked and it’s the STUNNER!! Hogan staggers around, and Lesnar dumps Hulk!! It’s Austin vs. Lesnar, and Austin tries for the quick elimination, but Brock holds on. Stunner is blocked. Austin slips off the back on the F5 attempt, but a second Stunner try see Lesnar catch Austin’s foot and clothesline his head off. Lesnar tries for the elimination, but Austin grabs the top rope to block and goes with the trusty low blow instead. One more try at the Stunner, but Lesnar wraps Austin in an inverted bearhug and hits a belly to back suplex. Lesnar misses a charge, and Austin opens up on him, mudholes and whatnot. Middle finger for Brock! Lesnar responds with one of his own! That pisses Austin off even more, and Austin stalks back to the corner, but Lesnar suckers him in and grabs him for the F5... and slings Austin out to the floor for the win!! Brock Lesnar wins the All-Time Royal Rumble at 63:12!!

[Author’s note: Trying to figure out how to get every number and every year represented without duplicating anyone was quite tough. I think the biggest omission for me was Bret Hart, who I’d originally pegged in at #21, but all the moving parts meant I had to sacrifice someone, and much like Vince McMahon, I realized I’d much rather have Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker in my Rumble, so I screwed Bret out of his spot. If there’s a better combination of guys to put in such a match, see if you can figure it out. Calculating the wrestlers and the entry order on this thing was a lot of fun.]

The View From Down Here - Larry Lucchino: A Woman Scorned

2012-02-01T13:40:00.000-05:00

As if enough hasn't been written about this already.....

A recent report out of Chicago indicates that the months long drama regarding the Cubs' compensation to the Red Sox for Theo Epstein may be nearing a resolution. Nick Cafardo of the Boston Globe quotes an anonymous AL GM as saying, "I don’t think MLB wants executives leaving their teams before their contracts are up and therefore he will try to deter teams from doing that again."

Uh.....what?

A few things about that statement:

If Bud Selig did not want executives leaving for promotions, why did he approve the deal in the first place? When a compensation package couldn't be reached from the outset, why did he push the deal through? It obviously favored the Cubs then. So we are now supposed to believe that he allowed the deal to happen just so he could screw the Cubs later on down the line for doing it? If he is so against "executives leaving their teams before their contracts are up", this is a horrible way to show it. Bear in mind that Selig also has to keep other owners' interests in mind, and it's not in the owners' best interests to have to pay a high price for executives.
Not to mention, if the Red Sox did not want Theo to leave, why did they allow him to speak with the Cubs in the first place? It's not a difficult concept to grasp. If you don't want your executives to leave while they are under contract, don't give them permission to talk to other teams! The Red Sox had every right, and it was within their power, to keep this whole situation from happening, yet they chose not to. If the Red Sox wanted to keep Theo so badly, they should have denied permission for him to speak with the Cubs from the very beginning.
Finally, this was a not a lateral move. It was a promotion plain and simple, a fact further solidified with Theo's hiring of Jed Hoyer to be the GM under him. (It should be noted, as well, that the compensation process with the Padres took a matter of days.) There is no other major professional sport, aside from baseball, where a team asks for compensation if an executive is receiving a promotion.

The Red Sox organization, and Larry Lucchino in particular, has been extremely childish throughout this whole process. They are taking Theo's departure personal, like a girlfriend scorned for another woman. (Keep in mind that this is after an end of the season collapse where field manager, Terry Francona, was fired, and there were whispers that Theo himself would be let go.) In the end, I'm sure the Cubs will end up giving up more than they feel they should, and the Red Sox will not get what they think they deserve. But I would just like to believe that somewhere along the line during the talks, this conversation took place.

Northern Reflections - January 29, 2012

2012-01-31T14:00:00.000-05:00

January 29, 2012, marked an epic opportunity for live-Tweeters everywhere. A plethora of ~~sweaters~~ events aired that lent themselves to live-Tweeting, and I figured I’d take on the lot of them: the NHL All-Star Game, the NFL Pro Bowl, the Screen Actors’ Guild Awards, and the WWE Royal Rumble.

The All-Star Game, while fun, sort of did me in for Tweeting about things that no one, least of all me, cares about, so the Pro Bowl and SAGs got skipped altogether (the Pro Bowl and SAGs got skipped, © Airplane!). I did, however, manage to make it through the Rumble. Accompanied by a bottle of wine and a few beers, here’s what I saw.

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

So, the busy live tweet day begins at 4:10 ET with some dude singing a crappy dance song at the NHL ASG #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Rosters being introed, Phaneuf and Lupul get booed out of the building in Ottawa #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

They love Malkin in Ottawa. He got a big reaction at the skills competition last night too. Add Kessel to the booed list #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Crowd seems apathetic toward Team Alfredsson. They're saving the Sens guys for last. Roof should come off then. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Amazing that 4 Sens made it. Good on their fans for voting them in. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

US anthem being sung by the winner of The Voice. He's chosen a slow acoustic version. I don't think he gets sports. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

OTT's regular guy gets the O Canada gig. I think they said his name's Lindon Splooge. Pretty operatic, but good. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Is this game even being aired in the States? Is it on The Ocho? #phlivetweet #Dodgeball

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Nice unis. NHL crest with player number above. Clean and simple. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

First save goes to Lundqvist off Hossa. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Last 3 ASGs decided by 1 goal. That's odd. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Gaborik scores on Lundqvist. Plays rifle with the stick afterward. Good times. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Malkin makes it 2-0 Team Chara. Pretty goal. Picked the corner. #phlivetweet

20h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Gaborok with another. 3-0 Charas. Pretty boring for an ASG thus far. Time to shake up the lines and get some creativity going. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Seeing "Gaborok" in my last tweet reminds me to mention that I'm on my iPod, so it could be ugly. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Spezza gets one past...the Charas goalie (Elliott maybe?). 3-1 #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Harrell now calling the play while on the ice. Love this kid. "The Sedin triplets score a goal. Suck it, Phaneuf." Awesome. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Harrell? Stupid autocorrect. Hartnell. Also, Tavares makes it 3-3. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Holy shit, penalty coming up. All penalties are penalty shots. Howard stops Stamkos. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

3-3 after one. Slow pace to start. Should pick up as guys get comfortable. Don Cherry is going to say stupid things soon. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

I mean, Cherry's probably been saying stupid things all day, but he'll say them on my tv soon. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Yeah, shut up Cherry. Kessel was picked last last year and is having a career year now. Couture isn't embarrassed. #phlivetweet

Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Now he's championing giving Game 7 to the winning ASG team. Because it's so popular in baseball, I guess. #phlivetweet

Michael Watson @MDWDFW

@psychofish77 Chara and Alfredsson are in the same fucking conference.

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

@MDWDFW Yeah, I guess it was assumed that the whole ASG system would have to be redone to add that asinine stipulation. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Apparently, Cherry vs Burke is a thing. It's no wonder we've had mo snow with that much hot air blowing. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

After I typed that, I looked outside and realized it's been snowing pretty heavily for a while now. Crisis averted. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

2nd starts with a Charas goal from Gaborik. Hat Trick and a lock on MCP so far. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Gaborik got that goal on Quick. Price in for the Charas. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Also, he's more likely to win MVP. Lupul from Kessel, 5-3 Charas. #phlivetweet

19h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Taking a break for a bit. #phlivetweet

[Remainder of 2nd period missing here, but come on, it’s an all-star game.]

18h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Just occurred to me that with the NHL ASG, Pro Bowl, & SAGs, this might be international apathy day. #phlivetweet

18h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

I'm no rap aficionado, but Canada's own Drake is fucking terrible. Like, really fucking terrible. #phlivetweet

18h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Like, R-Truth bad. #Drake #phlivetweet

[3rd period missing here, but come on, it’s an all-star game.]

17h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

12-9 final. Charas over Alfredssons. Bring on the Pro Bowl. #phlivetweet

17h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Has there ever been a more useless non-WNBA sporting event than the Pro Bowl? #phlivetweet

17h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

The Pro Bowl: the NFL's best players...who aren't in the Super Bowl and couldn't fake an injury to get out of it. #phlivetweet

17h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Wow. Randy Moss has lost some weight. And height. And black. #phlivetweet

17h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Hot Chelle Ray is an actual thing? I'd call you on it, America, but, you know, Drake. #phlivetweet

17h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Good to know the live crowd doesn't know this song either. There may be hope yet. #phlivetweet

17h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Holy shit! Creepy Shamwow Vince is back! The Schticky comes in three sizes. This is worth watching the Pro Bowl for. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 Large, medium, and @natecorbitt?

Nate Corbitt @natecorbitt

@fsolomon75 @psychofish77 Did they show the same commercial that's on the web? I really doubt they'd get away with the shedding pussy line.

17h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Taking a #phlivetweet break to bathe my kid and get her to bed. Hoping to find a Royal Rumble feed to tweet about later.

[Remainder of Pro Bowl missing here, but come on, it’s an all-star game.]

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Live tweeting of the Rumble is courtesy of my totally legal (source: Wkilpedia) feed. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 What aboot the SAGs?

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

@fsolomon75 Meh happened. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Bryan/Show/Henry to kick it off. Lilian Garcia announcing. Cole still hates Bryan, even though they're both heels. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Looks like Big Show used an army tent to make half his tights. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Nice triple avalanche by Show on Henry into the cage. Bryan's strategy is escape. Not working yet. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Sorry to disappoint on the SAG tweeting, but I just don't have it in me. Skipping the Pro Bowl too. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 You're letting down ones of readers #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Wait, is Booker the heel announcer now? He's defending Bryan all over the place. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Top rope choke slam? Top of CAGE choke slam? Nope. Bryan falls to the floor for the win to retain. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Not sure that's how that match was supposed to end. If so, terribly done. Also, my totally legal feed went offline. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

New feed. Apparently, Cena is sad that some people don't like him. It'll be interesting to see if he gets a new character. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

So, with this Cena video that's STILL going on, it looks like they're aiming for "I gave you everything & you turned on me" #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Hey look, Divas. I'll get a beer. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

A Diva jumped from the top rope onto the rest of them, and none of them died. Nice of them to catch her before falling down. #phlivetweet

16h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Poor Zack Ryder. Poorer viewers. Cena/Kane is up now. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Cena out first. Not much playing to the crowd, given that that's the point of this angle. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

After one punch, Booker: "A fight just broke out here, dog." Astute. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

I like Kane's new autopsy-scar shirt. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

I actually don't hate this pairing. It's different at least, and it keeps Cena out of the title picture. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Top rope 5-knuckle shuffle. Fun. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Double-countout, brawl to backstage, Cena getting beat down leads to Kane murdering Ryder via suffocation. Dark. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Kane wheels Ryder's corpse to the ring where his mourning widow comes out to watch a tombstone. Cena saves her from Kane. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Now they're all hanging out in the ring like they're waiting to come back from commercial. Stop wasting time, assholes. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Wait...they actually went to commercial. What the fuck? It's WWE vs bullying, but still. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 Vince doing an anti-bullying campaign makes me laugh.

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

@fsolomon75 It would be like the NFL speaking out about steroids. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 Or you speaking about liquor.

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Apparently, Cena has a lot on his mind mentally. Thanks, Cole. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Rock vignette counts as an extended WM commercial. Why do people pay for this shit? #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

This isn't even a WM commercial. It's a plug for his movie. Just brutal. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Drew McIntyre and the Spanish announce table. Two things no one cares about. Also, Brodus Clay. #phlivetweet

Nate Corbitt @natecorbitt

@psychofish77 Also, two things that get squashed.

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

So, Brodus Clay is Rikishi + Godfather? Hope he can actually go in the ring. #phlivetweet

Beer Baron @BeerBaron4life

1 part Blue Meanie/PN News RT“@psychofish77: So, Brodus Clay is Rikishi + Godfather? Hope he can actually go in the ring. #phlivetweet”

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Oh. Lost my feed for literally bell to bell. Clay wins. Slim Jim commercial to pay tribute to Savage (& the troops). #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

But mostly Savage. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Looks like Ziggler/Punk up next. After the Raw commercial and the Laurinitis vignette. And, probably, a Divas match. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Huh. Laurinitis recuses himself from ref duty, but he'll supervise the reffing. Interesting. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Vickie looks like she's wearing lingerie for the elderly. Not cool, Vickie. Not cool. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Vickie gets the boot from ringside. My ears thank you. Also, my eyes. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

I really like Ziggler, but I think he needs an extended run with a big title before he's legit. #phlivetweet

Nate Corbitt @natecorbitt

@psychofish77 You mean like his almost year long run with the US Championship?

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

@natecorbitt Right. A secondary belt. I want him to carry one of the big two for a while. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

The Mach Man elbow is now "vintage CM Punk"? #phlivetweet

Nate Corbitt @natecorbitt

@psychofish77 A ref bump in a title match? NO WAY did I see that coming! #phlivetweet

9:35 PM - 29 Jan 12 via HootSuite · Details

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Ref bump. Bring on the Laurinitis screwjob. Punk had Ziggler tapping, Punk pins Ziggler, Ziggler makes a GTS look good, no ref. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Credit where it's due, I thought Ziggler had a chance. Nice storytelling in that match. #phlivetweet

15h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Oh yeah, Punk won after a second GTS. Terrible move, but Ziggler sold it like a champ. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Ugh. More commercials. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Now they're showing the same stats package they showed at the beginning of the broadcast. That's like 5 minutes repeated. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

So Punk and Bryan are eligible to enter the Rumble? That seems dumb. Anyway, here we go. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 I clicked on the link just to watch the Rumble and the Miz was the first thing I saw. Not a good start.

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

@fsolomon75 It wasn't likely to be a Bundy/Piper start. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 That's the only way I'd watch. We were spoiled with the Rumbles from '99 to '01.

Michael Watson @MDWDFW

@fsolomon75 @psychofish77 oh come on, Solly, that '99 Rumble is absolute garbage.

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@MDWDFW @psychofish77 I guarantee the I Quit Match is better than anything they did tonight.

Michael Watson @MDWDFW

@fsolomon75 @psychofish77 Oh, you're talking entire event. No argument there.

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@MDWDFW @psychofish77 Yeah. The whole card, not just the Rumble.

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

The Miz draws 1, my feed dies. Back just in time to hear him flub his promo. Let's just get to the match, okay? #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Alex Riley out. Could be fun. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Miz eliminates Riley with time to spare. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

3rd is R-Truth. Is Morrison still employed? If so, I'm thinking him and Show out next. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Nope. Cody. Seems to be a lot of smaller guys getting airtime these days. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Justin Gabriel at 5. And the crowd went meh. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Primo at 6. They need a big man in there next. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Truth eliminated by Miz, drags Miz under the ropes & cold cocks him. Foley in at 7. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Foley takes Primo out. 8 is Del Rio. No, it's his announcer. Joke entrants already? #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Santino at 9. This is dumb. Miz is still on the floor. Cody's in the corner. Foley's just standing there. Ugh. Sock war now. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Epico at 10 eats Socko and is out in seconds. Miz and Cody wake up. Santino's gone. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Foley's gone, Kofi in at...11? Back to wrestling. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

12 is Jerry Lawler. Great. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Cody dumps the King. Zeke Jackson is the 1st big man in at 13. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 Ezekiel should have come out at 25 or 17.

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

I think Booker wants to date Lawler. Sounds like an NFL announcer talking about Brady. Jinder Mahal at 14. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Mahal still not in the ring. New Undertaker? #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

15 is Khali. Of course. They attack evil-ninja style and eat chops. Mahal and Zeke out. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Hunico is 16. I don't know who Hunico is. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Booker gets the call at 17. Lawler slurps him. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Kofi gets the highlight if the night -- handstand on the floor to the stairs. Ziggler out at 18. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Oh god. Hacksaw Jim Motherfucking Duggan? Do they not have 30 wrestlers on the roster? #phlivetweet

Michael Watson @MDWDFW

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE WWF! RT @psychofish77: Oh god. Hacksaw Jim Duggan? Do they not have 30 wrestlers on the roster? #phlivetweet”

14h Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@MDWDFW @psychofish77 I know I don't watch the current product but this is a joke.

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Duggan out. Waste of a spot. Booker and Khali out too. 20 is...Cole. This is ridiculous. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Karma/Awesome Kong at 21. Booker and King eliminate Cole. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

22...Sheamus. About time. Looks like legit wrestlers in the wring now. Kofi's out. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

23...The Road Dogg of the Old Age Outlaws. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

That has to be at least half joke entrants. Inexcusable. Jey Uso out at 24. #phlivetweet

Fred Solomon @fsolomon75

@psychofish77 @MDWDFW Rikishi's KID is in this? Holy fuck, I'm old.

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Swagger gets 25. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Barrett out at 26. He and Sheamus should feud. Also, Road Dogg no longer taking up space #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Otunga out at "lucky" 27. They keep saying that. He can't win, right? #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Fuck. Hometown Orton out at 28. Stupid Orton. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Uso and Barrett out via Orton. Jericho in at 29. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Otunga out via Y2J. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Last man in is Big Show. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Show should clear the refuse. Yep. Swagger, Cody, Ziggler, and...someone else. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Show, Sheamus, Jericho, Orton are the final 4. I pick Sheamus because I'm dumb. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Holy shit -- Show and Orton out. Y2J or Sheamus, unless something crazy happens. #phlivetweet

14h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Jericho's never won a Rumble. He's a lock. #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Sheamus kicked Jericho in the face...with his shoulder. Thanks, Cole. #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Can these guys go another 15 minutes? Can we go to a commercial or video package? #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Jericho's attempted a submission and a pin. Isn't he supposed to be smart? #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

WOW. Sheamus wins. #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Now they just need to stop calling him "the great white." Might not play well in Miami. #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Punk/Ziggler was easily match of the night. Cena/Kane was inoffensive or what it was. The cage match was pretty meh. #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

*for what it was. (stupid typo) The Divas match was too long, in that it was still on after my beer break. The Rumble itself... #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

...was bad. Just inexcusably bad. Duggan? Foley? Santino? Road Dogg? I'm shocked the Boogeyman didn't make an appearance. #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

Would Hornswoggle being in have tipped the ending? Having all 3 announcers in was stupid. Booker maybe, but not the others. #phlivetweet

13h Michael Hodge @psychofish77

So, overall, the NHL ASG was silly fun, the Pro Bowl and SAGs got skipped, and the Rumble sucked pretty hard. How was your day? #phlivetweet

Sollywood - Will Pawn Just Leave

2012-01-29T15:55:00.000-05:00

"I think we have to get the fans back at the stadium. That's a necessity. That's the lifeblood."

So says hopefully soon-to-be-exiled Mets owner Fred Wilpon.

That’s fascinating. We need to get fans back at the stadium. With logic like that, it’s no wonder you and your Tommy Boy-esque son Jeff got taken by Madoff.

That gem by Captain Obvious leads to the question of how do you get fans back without winning? How do you win without putting money into the payroll? How do you win in a stacked division where even the fucking Nats are making moves? According to ESPN’s Adam Rubin, the Mets are looking at the highest drop in salary ever.

No other team has ever cut as much salary from the previous year. Ever.

Let that soak in for a minute. A baseball team in New York should be able to print money but because of Freddy’s follies, his wanna be Trolley Dodgers are losing money hand over first, $70M in 2011 alone.

And no, you don’t need to spend $140M to win anything. Just ask the Rays. Of course, the Rays drafted well, with Carl Crawford, Evan Longoria, David Price, Jeremy Hellickson, Desmond Jennings, and Matt Moore (to name a few) coming up through their system.

When you’re the Mets, you overhype your prospects only to see them crash and burn. Any money you do spend results in bad luck or just bad players.

You don’t need to spend a lot to win, you just need to spend it well. Here’s the problem: when your payroll dips to $90M and you have three players making $56M and you can’t draft for shit, that doesn’t leave you a lot of wiggle room to fill in the gaps and put a winning team on the field.

When you replace your All-Star trio of Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, and Francisco Rodriguez with Ruben Tejada, Andres Torres, and Frank Francisco, your already bitter and exasperated fanbase isn’t going to head to The Place That Reese Built, even with reduced ticket prices.

The Wilpons are in a tough situation, albeit one they put themselves in. It's an awful spiral - they can't draw fans without winning but they don't have any revenue to invest into the payroll to win some games. They're not just sinking, they have anvils tied to their ankles.

I haven’t seen a father-son duo with so many problems since the Skywalkers. Sell the team, escape with whatever shred of dignity you have left, and enjoy your remaining years with your stained Koufax jersey and Dodger souvenir cup.

The View From Down Here - The 2012 Cubs or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Sabermetrics

2012-01-29T00:01:00.000-05:00

Obviously, this blog is not a money making venture. (I mean really. Who would pay for this crap?) Because of this, I do have a full time day job. Luckily, I work for a boss that is a huge sports fan, and I can count on, at least once a day, taking time out of my schedule to talk about baseball, football, basketball, etc. Since she (yes, I said "she") knows my affinity for the Chicago Cubs, she asked me the other day how I felt about the new trinity running things at the intersection of Clark & Addison.

I never hid the fact that I actually supported, former General Manager, Jim Hendry more than most Cub fans. He did a lot of good for the Cubs, more than most folks would like to admit. He put together several playoff teams after taking over as GM in 2002, more than any other GM in Cubs history. Unfortunately, that success may have led to his own downfall. He brought something to the Cubs that they had not had in decades....winning. And when the wins slowly started dwindling away like Justin Morneau's batting average after the All-Star Break, Cub fans finally did something they should have started doing long ago. They stopped coming to Wrigley Field. Empty seats could be seen for the first time in ages. After being swept from the playoffs in the first round in 2007 & 2008 (I refuse to acknowledge 2003) and with sub par showings in 2009 & 2010, Hendry was fired during the 2011 season.

That being said, I am ecstatic with the hiring of Theo Epstein (President of Baseball Operations), Jed Hoyer (GM), and Jason McLeod (Head of Scouting) - the trio widely regarded as being responsible for breaking the Curse of the Bambino and making the Boston Red Sox into the consistent powerhouse they are now. For the first time in the 35 years I have been a fan, the Cubs finally seem to have a long term plan in place. Not only are they going with a more sabermetric approach to the team, the team as constructed over the last several years is finally being blown up, so they can go young. Theo and Jed have also done a remarkable job of trading away many of the overpriced veterans, and getting good young value in return, including stud 1B prospect Anthony Rizzo. And if the rumors are true that they are all in on the 3 young Cuban defectors that recently declared for free agency, they will have quickly vaulted the Cubs' farm to a top 5 system in the major leagues.

I'll be the first to admit that it's probably going to be ugly this year, and maybe even next year. The Cubs have several young players, players they are counting on to bounce back from down seasons, and players who were cut because they never lived up to their potential. But you know what? I'm ok with that. Most rational thinking fans are. The Cubs weren't going to compete this year anyway, so it makes perfect sense to play the young guys to see what you have going forward. And it's not because the budget is being cut, or the Cubs have no money. They are going to evaluate their young talent, so they can see how exactly they should spend their money when they are ready to compete.

The problem is the casual Cub fan. Because of the success the new brass had in Boston, the casual Cub fan is going to want to see immediate results. And when he doesn't get it, he's going to be the one calling into the the radio shows, bitching on the message boards, and booing the product on the field.

Look at it like this. The casual Cub fan is the kid who always spent his allowance as soon as it was handed to him. He was, quite literally, like a kid in a candy store, ready to spend his dollar and a quarter on the very first piece of junk he got his hands on.

Little Jimmy, on the other hand, is the rational Cub fan. He saw the bigger picture. Every week he'd save his allowance in a little green piggy bank, counting it with every dollar, nickel or dime he dropped in.

Well, one day little Jimmy emptied out that piggy bank and went to Toys-R-Us with his momma. When he came home, he had a brand new Super Nintendo, and a game called Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball. He played that game for hours and hours. The casual Cub fan, however, had nothing but a handful of broken plastic army men and a ball on a string paddle. He never had the foresight to see the bigger picture like little Jimmy.

That story is an analogy for what Theo and Jed are doing. They are building a solid foundation first, planning for the future and managing their savings, if you will, in order to score the big prize. An approach that casual Cub fans have continually complained about and took a stance against, instead preferring to spend money now when we all know it isn't going to get us anywhere. We'll just be left with a bunch of junk.

In the end, what Theo and Jed are doing now should be putting the Cubs in a position to compete year in and year out. In a couple years, the Cubs should be more like the Atlanta Braves, and less like the Pittsburgh Pirates. And if they're not, maybe this team really is cursed.

Random Moosings - The Brooklyn Brawler vs. The Canadian Crippler

2012-01-28T19:02:00.000-05:00

Bet you thought this was going to be the review of some awful Superstars squash match, didn’t you? Well not so fast my friends!

About a week ago legendary college football coach Joe Paterno passed away. If you don’t know who Joe Paterno is, then you have been living under a rock for the last 46 years, and you have been living somewhere near middle earth for the last six months or so. Paterno coached Penn State for 46 years, a feat that is remarkable in this day and age of what-have-you-done-for-me-lately college athletics. These days coaches are not on a year to year basis, hell big time coaches are not even on a game to game basis. One bad play and half the fan base and all the boosters are screaming for them to be fired RIGHT DAMN NOW! We have reached the point of epic stupidity in the ways we view athletics.

Paterno’s story has, to me at least as a lifelong Penn State fan, a sad ending. He was implicated in a child sex scandal that had stretched on for decades. The Readers Digest version is this: creepy, insane scumbag former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was caught in the showers with a little boy by a grad assistant. The grad assistant, understandably horrified by what he was seeing, went to Paterno. Paterno, instead of taking a steel chair upside Sandusky’s head, went to the PSU athletic director and told him what was going on, and the Athletic Director then went to…….well evidently he didn’t go anywhere or do anything and Sandusky was allowed to continue to molest children for another decade.

When the story broke, Paterno was blamed for not doing more. After all, he was Joe Fucking Paterno. He WAS Penn State football. He was a legend, and icon…..a LICON if you will, if Joe Paterno spoke up and said the campus grass was being cut 1/8th of an inch too high, you can bet you ass that the next time it was cut, it would be cut 1/8th an inch shorter. So why didn’t he do more? Why didn’t he see that his Athletic Director was a do-nothing dipshit and go to the authorities himself? Why didn’t Paterno bust into Sandusky’s house and choke him out until he admitted he was a dirty pedophile? Why didn’t he challenge him to an “I Confess” match right in the middle of Beaver Stadium? I don’t know the answers to that. I have no idea why Paterno didn’t act. What I do know is that his 46 year tenure as Penn State head coach came to a whimper of an end in December when he was fired. I do know that his legacy was tarnished. I do know, that as a fan, it just wasn’t supposed to end like this.

Now, what does this have to do with Chris Benoit? And I would imagine there are some of you that are asking “what is a Chris Benoit?” Chris Benoit was one of my favorite professional wrestlers of all time, he is also considered by many to be among the best wrestlers of all time. What he lacked in mic skills (which was a lot, he was not a great promo guy) he more than made up for in in-ring ability. Benoit made his debut in Canada in 1985 and spend the better part of the next decade plying his trade around the world. He got his big break in ECW in the mid-90’s by famously breaking Sabu’s neck (which from what I can tell was an accident, Sabu fell on his head after a back drop. I honestly have no idea if it happened there, or if it was a storyline driven thing) anyway, that gave Benoit the nickname of Canadian Crippler, and just to look at him, yeah you got the impression that Benoit could rip your head off before you could beg him to stop.

Benoit moved from ECW to WCW, then when WCW was on the verge of being put out of business by Hogan and Bischoff, he moved to the WWE. Benoit won the world title and appeared to be on the verge of true superstardom when he snapped and killed his wife and child, then himself. Yeah you read that right, Benoit, a world class wrestler, respected by millions, idolized, worshipped by wrestling fans, murdered his wife and child, and then killed himself. The fact that his brain was like Swiss cheese, the result of numerous concussions, doesn’t excuse or change what he did. In the end, you can say nothing more than he was a murderer.

So what the hell do Chris Benoit and Joe Paterno have in common?

Other than the fact that Paterno could probably have been Benoit’s manager, not a whole lot really, except for one thing – both of them ended their careers – and ultimately their lives – on unspeakably bad terms.

Ok, so that is an interesting coincidence, but that is not really what I am getting at. What bothers me is the media and fan portrayal of both men. I remember after Benoit murdered his family hearing from people that were huge fans of Benoit that they would never watch his matches again, they just couldn’t. And to be honest, I never understood that. I have heard people who had praised Joe Paterno for being such a great coach and a great leader of men, just months ago, suddenly turn on him and say they will never respect him again, and that he is somehow a villain. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think either are villains, I think both are humans.

Let me clarify that a bit, I don’t excuse what either of them did, what they did was wrong. But they are both human, they are imperfect, fallible creatures. I am not sure it is fair, or right, that a bad end erases a lifetime of achievement. The WWE has done its absolute best to completely whitewash Benoit from their history. The 25th anniversary of the WWE’s Royal Rumble is tomorrow. If you were to ask, I am sure they would tell you that there was no winner in 2004. The event simply did not happen. I certainly don’t think Penn State will go to the same lengths as the WWE, I can’t imagine them ignoring the last 46 years of Penn State football because Paterno had a horrible ending, nor should they.

Those of you who know me know that I was a history major in college. One of the things you learn (other than citing your sources, beat you to it Solly) is that history is not just the good things that happen. That is part of what bothers me about US history, it tends to skew VERY much toward the positives of the US and leaves a whole bunch of the negative stuff out (but that is a rant I can save for later). Whether they like it or not, the history of the WWE and Penn State contain ties to two men who did very bad things. That doesn’t mean you get to whitewash it and ignore it. Own up to it. People make mistakes. Good people do bad things. One bad decision should not destroy a career of greatness.

I still miss watching Chris Benoit wrestle and I know that come fall, I will miss seeing Joe Paterno on the Penn State sidelines. They made an indelible mark on their professions, and they both did a whole lot of good before they made horrible decisions. There is nothing wrong with celebrating the good while lamenting the bad.

Random Moosings - Inside a Broken Mind

2012-01-27T16:35:00.000-05:00

Even though most of you know me, I should properly introduce myself. The blog will say my name is John Roberts, which is true of course, but the folks on Puns and OO know me as Moosehead Jack, or just Moose, or, sometimes Grumpy Asshole. It is no secret to those who know me that a lot of things annoy me, a lot of things used to send me flying off into a rage. Things still do annoy me, there will be plenty of that on here in the future, but I have tried to get more of a grip on it because I felt like I was becoming a caricature of myself. I was the go to guy for a pissed off rant, I was always mad about something, little did I know, there was a reason behind that.

Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are NOT a sign of weakness. They are signs of having tried to remain strong for way too long..

I have seen some people put that as their facebook status, trying to bring attention to mental diseases such as depression and anxiety. There seems to be a stigma with mental disorders, like the person is just faking it, or it is not something to be taken seriously. I admit that for a long time, I was in that boat, I didn’t understand depression, and I thought it was just feeling down. Move on, get over yourself, right?

Well, in 2009 my marriage fell apart, and I suffered a nervous breakdown. I was diagnosed with severe depression, and was, according to one of the people I talked to, probably borderline in need of being hospitalized for it. I won’t go into all the details here, partly because I really don’t want everything out there, there are some of you who know it, and I am fine with that, and partly because I don’t want to bore you with all the details. Suffice it to say, starting around 2006, things started going really bad, and I just bottled it up and kept it inside. We never talked about it, we never really dealt with it, we just kept all that anger bottled up, and as you can imagine, it didn’t do any of us any good.

That has always been my thing though. After getting help when things fell apart completely, I realized that this was not a new problem, this was something I had done my whole life. Bottle things up. Internalize it all. Keep it to yourself. No one else wants to hear your nonsense. This was passed from my mother, who also suffers from depression but refuses to seek any help. What some people also don’t understand, is generally victims of depression also suffer from low self-esteem, which triggers a vicious catch-22 that just makes things worse. I am depressed because I have no self-esteem, I have no self-esteem because I am depressed. So, as you can imagine, my teen years kind of sucked. Things didn’t really get better in college, which is where the anger that so many of you are familiar with came in. You think I was bad in the last few years? You should have known me then, EVERYTHING made me mad. And not just annoyed, mad. Angry. Livid. I hated the world and every living thing in it, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me.

So, with that mindset, I went into a marriage with no communication, or at least very little. Things built and built over the years, and I am sure you can all see where this is going, it finally reached a breaking point. This is the point where I assume things can go one of two ways. 1. You take it out on the other person. I would guess this is where people get hit. I dealt with that growing up, so that was never really an option. In a fit of anger, I DID put my fist through the wall, but I never touched anyone else. So I chose option 2. I turned it in on myself, and that is when I began to break down.

By the time the summer of 2009 rolled around, I was a basket case. All this stuff had built up inside me, and I had no outlet, I had nowhere to direct it, so I started shutting down. I was incapable of making decisions…..something as simple as going grocery shopping was a nightmare because I couldn’t decide what to get, nor did I care what we got. I simply stopped caring. Outwardly, I guess I looked the same. Inside, I was hurting, like real physical pain. All I wanted to do was sleep. If I was asleep, I didn’t have to face the world. I tried to work, at the time as a substitute teacher, and it was the worst work day I had ever had. I couldn’t even take care of myself, controlling a classroom of 25 kids was impossible. It was the longest day of my life. I knew I had to go, so I packed my things and left.

The mind does funny things to you when it is in self-preservation mode. There are still things about September 2009 I simply cannot remember. And that is not because I have a bad memory, I actually have a fairly good memory. For the longest time, there were days, even weeks, that I simply lost. I couldn’t account for them. Only recently have they started to filter back into my life, and in many cases, I really wish they hadn’t.

The other side effect of it all, what memories I do have of that time, are all black and white. I have no idea why. It is literally like there was no color in the world then. I know that sounds emo and all, but that’s how it is. When people say it is like there is this dark grey cloud all around them, they aren’t kidding. The mind does some strange things

So, I left, came back to North Carolina and got some help. It took nearly a year before I felt better, and here we are over two and a half years out and I still don’t feel good. It is a daily struggle against myself to try and keep negative thoughts from creeping into my mind. Now, I know what you are thinking, everyone has negative thoughts. That much is true, but for me, they become obsessive. I have a hard time letting something negative go, and it sits and eats at me and brings me down. Letting it go takes work, and I will be honest, sometimes it’s more work than I am willing or able to do.

So what is the point of all this? Where are the angry Moose rants? They will come. This was something of a catharsis that I really wanted to write and get off my chest. That is part of it. The other part of it is to try and shed some light on depression and other mental diseases. You don’t know how many times I have heard “well just stop feeling so down!” or, “you have so much going for you!” or, my personal favorite “just pull yourself up by your boot straps!” I am not even sure what that means. The point is, if you come across someone who is fighting depression, chances are youdon’treally understand. Unless you have been through it, it is hard to understand. They don’t want to be told that things will be better because to them, they will never be better. To then, all that sounds like is lip service. If you know someone who is struggling with this, just be there for them. Just be a friend. Don’t ever tell them to just get over it, you wouldn’t tell someone with cancer to just stop having cancer, right?

So, that is that. Next time I write, I will find something to complain about. Tim Tebow, the New York Giants, the New York Yankees, something. But I wanted to get this one out of the way first. Thanks for reading.

Sollywood - I'm Sorry, Eli

2012-01-27T11:16:00.000-05:00

I don’t think I’ve ever done a complete 180 regarding my feelings for a player
on my team the way I have for one Eli Manning. Eli and I got off on the wrong
foot on Draft Day 2004 when he dictated, without ever taking one snap in the
NFL, where he would play. Given the tragedy that occurred near the draft, I never liked
Eli’s sense of entitlement. If his last name was Solomon instead of Manning, no
one would give a shit about him or his college numbers. So the Giants traded
Rivers and two picks (Merriman and Kaeding) for Peyton’s little brother. I
cringed every time Eli took a snap as a Giant. He looked like a deer in the
headlights. His “awww shucks” mentality after one painful loss after another
grew thin with me. It stayed that way until 2007 when playoff wins at Tampa,
Dallas, and Green Bay took the Giants to the Super Bowl. Even the SB win against
the Patriots didn’t make me an Eli fan, especially when it was more of a case of
the Pats losing more than the Giants winning. The Pats were an Asante Samuel
pick or a Randy Moss catch away from winning that game, but whatever.

Something happened this year. Eli went from simply being Peyton’s brother to an
established QB. Let’s look at the numbers: Over 4900 passing yards, 29 TDs, and 6 wins when the Giants were tied or losing in the 4th quarter. He has a postseason record of 7-3 and this year alone he's thrown for over 900 yards in 3 games to go along with 8 TDs and 1 pick.

He wasn’t great during the NFC title game but he held in against a tough 49ers
defense. He was sacked 6 times and was hit 20 times, but never turned
the ball over. A few years ago, he would have caved like a little bitch but not
this year. Eli Manning has matured as a QB and has finally become the player he
was projected to be when he was drafted in 2004. I can’t wait to see where he
goes from here.

So there’s my football post. On a side note, I was going to say something about
Joe Paterno’s passing but I’ve decided to wait about 12 years before speaking
up… just like Joe did.