Saturday, May 26, 2012

From the Porch: Feckless

Saturday, May 26, 2012


Miami 5, San Francisco 3 at Marlins Park


SF (24-23) 001 000 011  3 9 1
MIA (26-21) 013 001 00x 5 9 0


WP: Buehrle (5-4)
LP: Bumgarner (5-4)
SV: Choate (1)
HR: None


Bumgarner 6ip 7h 4er 2bb 7k 3.14era
Buehrle 7.1ip 8h 2er 0bb 3k 3.26era


We at From the Porch ran the numbers through the FTP Cray supercomputers and they came up with this: Giants aren't a good baseball team. They don't play baseball well. They aren't good baseball players, and they aren't going to become good baseball players.


Baseball Quote of the Day: "I don't want to win my 300th game while he's (Earl Weaver) still here. He'd take credit for it. (Jim Palmer)


Next game: San Francisco at Miami, 10 a.m. PDT Sunday, May 27 at Marlins Park. Cain (4-2, 2.94) vs. Nolasco (5-2, 4.31). TV: CSN-BA.

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FTP: We've Got Trouble

Oh yes, we've got trouble. And that starts with T, and that rhymes with P and that stands for Jesus Christ What in the Fucking Hell is Wrong with Lincecum?


Friday, May 25, 2012


Marlins 7, Giants 6 at Marlins Park


SF (24-22) 011 010 012  6 14 2
MIA (25-21) 000 105 10x  7 7 0


WP: Jennings (1-0)
LP: Lincecum (2-5)
SV: Cishek (1)
HR: Cabrera (3), Stanton (11), Coghlan (1)


Lincecum: 5.2ip 6h 6er 5k 4bb 6.41era
Johnson: 5ip 9h 3er 1bb 3k 4.87era


In the NL West: Sketchy at this point; CO beat CIN, SD lost to NYM, MIL pounding AZ 6-1 in the 8th; LAD down 3-0 to HOU in the 8th. If all holds up, Giants in second, still 6.5 back of damn Dodgers.


Comments: Holy smokeballs, Batman, Timmy is terrible! What the heck is going on here? Even the real seasoned bloggers are starting to get worried. Something kwazy is going on here. If you're a Giants fan, we have $60 million  in three starting pitchers right now; two of whom are automatic losses and one is very shaky. Trubble-some. Credit to the offense again, same as the last game in Milwaukee Wednesday, for battling like mofos to get back into the game and almost pull off a win despite horrific pitching. Can you imagine a world where the SF offense is pretty much fixed, with 14 hits and 6 runs, but Timnmy von Lince-spliff cannot pull off a win? I guess it's getting boring to wonder if he'll ever be himself, maybe this IS himself. How wonderful this would be; two of "our" $20 million pitchers are guaranteed losers every time and one is shaky.


Pitching: Bullpen was absolutely fine; again giving G's a chance to come back after the starter gave it all away.


Defense: Costly errors by Loux and Theriot, one PB by Posey.


Offense: Way more hits and runs than they should have needed; Blanco and Aris with 2Bs, Cabrera with a 3B, HR by Cabrera; 2/11 RISP and 6 LOB.


Baseball Quote of the Day: "You can't tell me the Babe was any better than this guy. You can't tell me this guy isn't the best player in the history of the game." (Florida Marlins manager Jack McKeon on Barry Bonds)


Next game: San Francisco at Miami, 1:10 p.m. PST at Marlins Park in Miami. Madrigal Bumsnorter (5-3, 2.85) vs. Mark Buehrle (4-4, 3.36).TV: CSN-BA.

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Friday, May 25, 2012

The View From Down Here - The Cubs Should Give Me a Call


I think my 4 year old could provide more offense than this current Cubs team right now.

 

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Northern Reflections – A Bunch of Quick Hits



It’s been how many and a half months since I wrote a blog entry? Two? That’s a lot. Busy with family, busy at work, I’m sure my ones of readers understand.

So, what’s happened since mid-March? Plenty, I’d imagine. Here’s what I’ve got off the top of my head:


The Stanley Cup Playoffs

In the West, the 8-seed LA Kings (a.k.a. the West Coast Flyers) shocked the world (outside of the U.S., where they don’t watch ice soccer), beating the 1, 2, and 3 seeded Canucks, Blues, and Coyotes to make the Finals. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s never happened in pro sports before – 8-seeds have made finals, but not by going through the 1, 2, and 3 is my guess.

In the East, my Philadelphia Flyers won the highest-scoring series in the history of time (source: Wikipedia) against the stupid Penguins before completely forgetting how to score goals in the second round and falling to the stupid Devils. The stupid Devils are playing Game 6 tonight against the stupid Rangers. I’m pulling for the lesser of two evils and hoping the stupid Devils advance to lose to the Kings.

My concern about the Kings is that they’ll have been off for eight days by the time the Finals start on May 30 (all games start at 8p.m. ET, check your local listings). That break will help them get healthy, but it will also completely negate their incredible momentum. Here’s hoping they can keep the mojo going. I’d love to see Carter, Richards, Williams, and the rest of the West Coast Flyers get a Cup, even if it’s not with the right team.


Stella Ella Ola’s Free EP

A Canadian band called Stella Ella Ola released a self-titled four-song EP for free. Since it was brought to my attention by Hollerado, whose awesome Record In a Bag album I reviewed here back on March 9, I figured I’d give it a listen. I honestly expected to half pay attention then delete the files. I mean, it’s free – how good can it be? What happened instead is that I was completely drawn in. I now follow the band on Twitter (@_StellaEllaOla_) and Facebook, and I’m very eagerly awaiting the release of their full album (which is, apparently, scheduled to drop in the fall).

I’m going to wait for the full release to do a review. In the meantime, go here to download the four-track EP for free: http://stellaellaola.bandcamp.com/album/stella-ella-ola-ep. Seriously. Do it. It’s a few minutes of your time to get four great songs for free. You’ll thank me later.


The Flawedcast Network

Holy shit did this take off. Congrats to all involved, but especially to Andy Gaston, who’s the driving force behind it.

During my blogging hiatus, I also fell behind on the podcasts, so I missed a bunch of Flawedcast Prime, Monday Night Flaw, and WTNY episodes, but I’m back to listening to those regularly, along with Gamer and Proud and Army of Dorkness. I haven’t heard MMA-Hole yet. I have zero interest in MMA, so I doubt it would be for me, but I hear good things for anyone out there who is interested. I am looking forward to TV for Vendetta. Hope that hits soon.

Seriously, congrats guys. This is a lot of fun. Keep up the awesome.


The NBA Playoffs

I understand that these are occurring.


The Avengers

Wow. This is a very good movie. Not Oscar-good, but popcorn-great. Fuck the Oscars anyway. They don’t concern themselves with “movies.” They deal in “films.”

If you haven’t seen The Avengers, you might be the only one. It’s on pace to become the highest-grossing thing that’s ever been done (source: Wikipedia). I’m not reviewing it here. If you want a review, there are thousands available on that Internet thingy, and Army of Dorkness carved out a tight 6.5 hours of an 8-hour show to talk about it. Just see it if you haven’t. It’s awesome.


Jack White’s New Album

Not surprisingly, Blunderbuss is really fucking good. White’s able to make an album that’s clearly not The White Stripes, but still has the occasional nod to the band. On top of that, it’s clean, language-wise, which is important to me because there’s a dearth of really good music I can share with my daughter. I’d love to have her listening to Green Day, Foo Fighters and Beastie Boys, but you can’t just hit play and walk away. You have to monitor each song as it comes up and be ready to hit FF if it’s swear-laden, which many of them are.


R.I.P. MCA

Speaking of Beastie Boys…

Poor dead MCA. Along with his band mates, the guy entertained me for 25 years. I owe him a huge debt of “Gratitude” (couldn’t resist) for that. I haven’t been this upset about a celebrity death since Clarence Clemons, and those are probably the only two that have really affected me. (Even Cobain didn’t bother me much. It was shocking, but not surprising, and I’d moved on to Pearl Jam by the time it happened.)

I listened to Licensed to Ill and Paul’s Boutique sparingly as a kid. I enjoyed them (and still do), but the band was really a comedy act at that point. They changed that image with Check Your Head, and that’s when I really started paying attention. I love that album. They followed it with the masterpiece that is Ill Communication, and then they fell off a bit. Hello Nasty was merely good, which, to me, was a letdown after back-to-back greatness. Then To the Five Burroughs happened. I guess it’s my fault for expecting more than a love letter to a post-9/11 New York City, but I was really disappointed in this album. Even when they dropped the pure comedy, these guys were still all about fun. Well, not with this album. It’s dark and it’s angry, and it took the band a long time to release another (rap) album.

Seven years after Burroughs, and well into MCA’s battle with throat cancer, Beastie Boys released Hot Sauce Committee Part Two in 2011. What a great album. It goes back to the basics, with the band not taking themselves or their music too seriously – but not sacrificing quality for an instant. A really fun, star-studded video for “Make Some Noise” only added to the excitement I felt for this album. It was getting better and better with each listen.

And then MCA died.

I knew he was sick. I knew this was a possibility. I was still waiting with bated breath for the concert tour announcement. I was really looking forward to seeing Beastie Boys tear up a stage one more time.

But MCA died.

I can’t imagine what Ad Rock, Mike D, and the extended Beastie Boys family have gone through over the past few months. I know it’s immeasurably worse for them than it is for me. But I hurt too. I hurt for them, and I hurt for me. I hurt for everyone who won’t get to see Beastie Boys in concert (again or for the first time). I hurt for the knowledge that there’s no follow-up album to Hot Sauce coming. I hurt for selfish reasons, and I don’t care.

But I’m also thankful. Thank you, MCA, for 25 years of entertainment. I obviously didn’t know you, but everything I’ve ever seen or read tells me you were a really decent human being who was loved and respected by everyone who was lucky enough to know you. There may not be any new music coming, but you’ve left behind an unparalleled library for us to enjoy forever. So thank you.


And that’s it for me. Sorry to end it on a down note. I was just firing stuff out as it occurred to me, but that’s the first I’ve written about MCA, and it made me sad, and I don’t feel like writing anymore now.

If you’ve got thoughts you’d like to share on MCA or any of the other topics I covered, post them in the Comments box. I’m particularly interested to hear what people think of the Stella Ella Ola EP.

And I’m still very open to “Blog-on-demand.” If you’ve got something you want me to spout off on, just let me know.

Have fun. Play safe.

Your pal,

~Hodgey

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Wait 'Til Next Year 15 - I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over Macho Grande

In the boys' longest show to date, Nate and Solly celebrate their milestone 15th episode with not one, but two special guests.  One, a visitor from beyond the grave, and the other, a Flawedcast host whose co-host just sounds like he’s dead.  Oh, and if you liked the song “Hey Ya!” by Outkast before this episode.....well....you won’t after this is all over.



Also on Stitcher and at Flawedcast.net. 

And don't forget to get your Wait 'Til Next Year swag!

Unfortunately, we did not have time to get to the voicemails this week, because we had a loaded show, so here they are:





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From the Porch: Fishy

Thursday, May 24, 2012


Giants 14, Marlins 7 at Marlins Park


SF (24-21) 000 104 342  14 15 1
MIA (24-21) 010 000 240  7 13 2


WP: Vogelsong (3-2)
LP: Sanchez (2-3)
SV: None   
HR: Stanton (10)


Vogelson: 6.1ip 7h 3er 3bb 4k 2.50era
Sanchez: 5.1ip 7h 5er 2bb 7k 2.87era


In the NL West: Light schedule today; only other NL West game was SD 11, NYM 5; Giants still in second behind LA, trailing by 6.5 games.


Comments: Well now, a 15-hit, 14-run game in Giants' first visit to the new Marlins Park. Game started out pretty much as expected pitching duel between Anibel Sanchez and Ryan Vogelsong, but Giants went nuts starting in the sixth. Game should have been 17-7 instead of 14-7, but Giants missed a late field goal.


Pitching: Vogie was OK, bullpen wasn't great, giving up four runs after going scoreless the last few games, but the game was a blowout and all can be forgiven.


Defense: None!


Offense: Thirteen runs in four innings? We'll take that anytime. New outfielders were again the key, with Melky going 3-5 with 4 RBIs, and Pagan going 2-5 , also with 4 RBIs. Gregor Blanco also continues to be a wonderful catalyst at the top of the order.


Note: Ryan Theriot was activated but didn't play tonight.


Baseball Quote of the Day: "Baseball is a game, yes. It is also a business. But  what it most truly is, is disguised combat. For all its gentility, its almost leisurely pace, baseball is violence under wraps." (Willie Mays)


Next game: San Francisco vs. Miami, 4:10 p.m. Friday, May 25 at Marlins Park. Lincecum (2-4, 6.02) vs. Johnson (2-3, 4.82). TV: CSN-BA.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

From the Porch: Zito-ed

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Brewers 8, Giants 5 at Miller Park; SF wins series 2-1

SF (23-21) 003 200 000  5 9 2
MIL (18-26) 620 000 000  8 10 0

WP: Veras (3-1)
LP: Zito (3-2)
SV: Axford (7)
HR: Lucroy (5)

Zito: 3ip 5h 4er 4bb 3k 3.53era
Estrada: 1ip 0h 0er 0bb 2k 4.50era

In the NL West: All night games; probably safe to pencil in a Dodgers win that would put SF 8 back.

Comments: Wowie, now THAT was a Barry Zito start. First inning: Walk. Sac bunt  reaches on error by Zito. Walk. Double, 3-0. Error by Crawford. Walk. Finally first out on strikeout. Run-scoring groundout. Double by Estrada, two more runs but he (Milwaukee starting pitcher) has to leave game with a strained hip flexor. Finally flyball out to end inning, 6-0. Two more runs in second make it 8-0 before Giants started to come back. Gotta credit bullpen (Loux, Edlefson, Hensley) for keeping the game in reach as Giants attempted to catch up. Giants have $60 millon in very shaky starters right now (Lincecum, Cain, Zito) and two guys who make $27,000 (ish) who are nails (Bumsnorter and Vogelsong).

Side note: Brewers are Dodger-like in vying to be my least favorite team. They got rid of that fat-ass effer Prince Fielder, which raised their point total astronomically, but they still have whiny bitch cheater Ryan Braun, who today was either injured or just quit or something, waving a hapless bunt at a two-strike pitch in the sixth; if ump had been consistent he would have struck out four times and if Crawford hadn't made a bad throw he would have hit into a DP in the eighth. And they have Nyjer Morgan, who isn't worth the effort to think about, except to note that he's a .212-hitting little bitch who somehow thinks he can play. I don't have much patience for K-Rod or their closer, C.W. Reenactor Axford. I don't care what team you're on, if you're a closer with a stupid beard, get a life and shut up. Especially if you're a Giant oft-injured closer with a stupid beard.

Defense: Nice outfield today with Cabrera, Pagan and Schierholtz; another error by Crawford and one by Zito. The value of arms like those at the outfield corners can be seen in the hesitancy of the other team on the basepaths. Crawford gets more ridiculous each day with his supposedly-good defense.

Another side note: Giants better sign an extension with Melky pretty soon; he's so good he's pricing himself out of range!

Offense: Another nice day by backup C Hector Sanchez; this is only May 23 and Giants catchers have 34 RBI to lead majors. All of last year, Eli Whiteside and Chris Stewart had 27 RBI. WAY too many strikeouts today (15); way, way too many looking (8 by my count, TV said 7). Home plate ump (Kellogg?) had a very low strike zone.

Baseball Quote of the Day: "When Steve (Carlton) and I die, we are going to be buried in the same cemetery, sixty feet, six inches apart." (Tim McCarver)

Next game: Giants vs. Marlins at Marlins Park in Miami, 4:10 p.m. PDT Thursday, May 24. Vogelsong (2-2, 2.27) vs. Sanchez (2-2, 2.32). TV: CSN-BA.

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2Hot's Impact Recap - May 17, 2012

iMPACT Recap May 17, 2012

iMPACT is filmed before a live studio audience.

Hey Fuckers!

It’s the network’s only TNA fan here with YOUR iMPACT RECAP!!, Now cue MY music!

-We open with a video package that reminds us of everything that we’re being told is supposed to matter in TNA right now.  So of course we get things like Joseph Park looking for Chris Youknowabyss, pix of AJ Styles slutting it up with Dixie Carter, and the champ beating the hell out of a 41 year old man and retaining his title even though no one (And by no one, I mean everyone) thought it was possible.

-Thankfully THE CHAMP IS HERE!!  Ravishing Bobby Roode makes his way to the ring to tell all you fat, ugly sweathogs to shut your mouths, and let the ladies see how a real man reminds us how he is able to overcome the odds.  He also reminds us that he is one week away from being the longest running champ in TNA history but mainly because he is one of the few in the company who doesn’t have to worry about dying of old age.  He decides that it is time for a “Celebration of Domination”, but he can’t do it without Hulk Hogan.  So he says Hogan’s name three times to summon him to the ring to lay out his demands.  Hogan bores the audience with a bunch of inside shit that no one cares about on the way to telling us that next week is “Open Fight Night” again, and Roode will have to defend his title.  Hogan took a pole in the back and discovered that half the locker room wants a piece of Roode.  The upshot of all this blabbing is that we get 4 qualifying matches, one of which is a wildcard battle royal.   And also some other stuff.  So let’s get to the action, shall we?

-Bully Ray takes on BVD even tho he’s feuding with Triple A Austin Aries, this is TNA and we can’t risk that guy getting a title shot now can we?  We may joke about how shitty TNA is but Bubba Ray really is doing some of the best work of his career both inside the ring and out.  As heeals often do, he controls the early action, but Bob Van Damn eventually makes a comeback.  Just when you think Damn has it in the bag, Bubba hits an RKO out of nowhere and gets the pin.  This was an outstanding opening match in that stiff east coast style.  Match of the night without a doubt.  5 stars for reminding us of what could have been.

-Backstage, “Every Segment” Bubba Ray is angry about how fat the Kardashian girls are getting when Joseph Park comes by.  Bubba tells him to go away and he does.  I love it when stories move forward.

-A Video Package informs us that TNA has signed an MMA champion to their roster to come in and “legitimize” their craft. We get a clip from MMA UnCensored, where the bald guy asks Dixie Carter who’s idea it was to bring a Mixed Martial Arts champ in to the fold, and Dixie says that no matter what anyone tells you, it was hers and not Vince McMahons.

-Camera shot of two hookers walking their beat, one ranting at the other like she stole her last crack rock.  Oh wait, those aren’t hookers, it’s Gail and Madison again.  Gail thinks it’s really unfair that she has to be forced in to a threeway (and not the good kind) tonight for her Knockouts title.  Madison reminisces about the last time she was in a threeway...
...
...
...
Wait, what was I talking about?

-It’s Wild Card Battle Royal time.  For this match, everyone on the roster who doesn’t already have a match tonight comes out to try their luck.  Like any battle royal, it’s pretty clear who has a shot and who doesn’t (sorry about your damned luck Garret Bishoff, Magnus, and ODB).  Especially since it includes AJ Styles.  During the match, Madison comes out to gawk at someone in the ring.  It’s a mystery who it is tho.  Final three is AJ, Aries, and Gunner.  Gunner powers Aries out and AJ low bridges Gunner.  Way to go AJ, you beat Gunner.  Pretty much textbook battle royal booking here.  It’s easily the battle royal of the night.  5 Stars for not letting Gunner win.

-Since it’s better when wrestlers cut promos when they’re out of breath, AJ gets on the stick to let us know the pictures are not what they seem.  This brings out 2/3rds of the KKK to let us know that the point of this is that AJ gets special benefits because of his relationship with Dixie that the others don’t get and they aren’t happy about it.  They also have a video that basically proves nothing.  AJ has seen enough now and he leaves.  I wish I could...

-Outside, Samoan Joe finds Kurt Angle and lets him know that he’s gonna kill you so Angle pulled a school yard prank he learned growing up in America and did the whole “Look at this hand” before belting him with the other hand gag.  Hahaha, stupid foreigners.

-Backstage, Mr Kenderson is reviewing the screwy finish to his match at Sacrifice and wondering if his shorts make his ass look big.  If you have to ask, sir, then you already know the answer...

-Since Slamiversary is coming soon, we get a video package of AJ Styles not putting people over.

-It’s Rematch Time.  Mr Kenderson takes on Ed Hardy. This match happened a few days ago at Sacrifice, but Earl Hebner is so old, he fucked up the ending and now we have controversy in a feud that didn’t even have any reason to exist in the first place.  And because they’re going to keep making him ref till he gets it right, Earl Hebner is back to oversee this one.  Hardy is in the driver’s seat early on until Kenderson realizes how dangerous it is to have a drunk driver behind the wheel and takes over.  The ending comes when Hardy blows a Whisper in the Wind, then blows a twist of fate, then somehow manages to roll Kenderson up and get the three count.  This match was full of fast paced action. It was easily the rematch of the night.  This match 5 stars for trying to turn nothing in to something.

-The slow pan on Christy Hemme means it’s KNOCKOUTS TITLE TIME!!  This time it’s Gail Kim against Vanilla Sky and Big Brooke Tessmacher!  The match starts out with Sky and Brooker T double-teaming Gail.  She manages to escape leaving the two to fight each other.  Bam Bam manages to hit both of her moves a few times before Gail gets back in the ring.  The two challengers work each other over till Gail hits a missile drop kick on both opponents.  Later, Sky manages to hit her finisher on B-Tizzle, which gives Gail the opportunity to ambush her like some kind of ninja, toss her from the ring, and pin the Total Package, Brook Tessmacher. This was as good a Knockouts match as there ever was.  Definitely a match of the night contender as well.  5 stars for letting Canadians keep the companies top two titles.

-Up next, it’s MAIN EVENT Fight Night Qualifier match from 2006 TIME! One third of the KKK, Kurt Angle, takes on Non-white Samoan Joe.  Who’s going to get the win in this one?  We’ll find out, after this commercial break...

- Were back and as you’d expect, Samoan Joe is beating Kurt Angle to within an inch of his life.  Of course, Kurt’s not going to tolerate that for long.  Especially from some foreigner. The two trade moves so stiff they’d make Chris Benoit look like Chris Jericho.  The end of the match comes when Kurt hits Joe with a headbutt and rolls him up for the pin.  What the hell kind of weak shit is that.  You can’t beat a Samoan with a headbutt?  Wtf TNA.  W. T. F.  Until the BS ending, that match was Solid Gold.  Definitely the match of the night.  5 stars only because I’d give it more if it wasn’t for that Cam Gullet of an ending.

-Post match, all 4 of the qualifiers come out to celebrate in the ring and we learn that even though they all won their matches, Hogan is going to pick who fights Roode next week because he has serious control issues, bruther.

 
Anyway...

That happened.

You can follow me on Twitter at @2hot2k, or send your questions or comments to 2hot@flawedcast.net
 
See you next week!!
 
Your Pal
 
2HoT

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