So, the Grammys happened last night. I’m still not sure what they were trying to accomplish with the show, but it was pretty terrible. It seemed really disjointed and nonsensical in parts. There were plenty of technical glitches. They let Nicki Minaj do whatever the hell it was Nicki Minaj did. And they celebrated Chris Brown as a returning hero, rather than blackballing him or, at the very least, acknowledging that he’s a deplorable fucking scumbag. I got a bit of a late start on the tweeting, but I got caught up. Most of the typos are courtesy of my iPod, which is not the ideal mass-tweeting method.
Without further ado, accompanied by a bottle of wine and a few beers, here’s what I saw.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
#ChrisBrown managed not to punch any ladies on stage. Kudos.
12h Matthew Brown @geekcanuck
@psychofish77 he also managed to look like Q-Bert but without... You know... Any fun.
Retweeted by Michael Hodge
In reply to Michael Hodge
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Catching up, Springsteen was the Boss, the LL prayer for Whitney was unnecessary and probably offensive, that Bruno Mars was a lot of fun...
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Alicia Keys is pretty and amazingly talented, they gave Adele an award for something, #ChrisBrown danced in jean tights, and country music.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Dude's mic died. I know what his next song will be about.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
In other entertainment news, 2-1 #Flyers over Red Wings in the 2nd. Hate the Wings even more than the Rangers.
12h Flawedcast @flawedcast
Great to see Chris Brown do all his hits. Except for those hits he had on Rihanna's face because he's a woman-beating piece of shit.
Retweeted by Michael Hodge
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
How is the Grammys nog airing live on the West Coast? That's barbaric.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I mean, it's happening live on the West Coast. Did they need a 3-hour delay in case #ChrisBrown snaps and starts beating up women?
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Jack Black is trying to talk over screaming women to introduce the greatest rock band on Earth today.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
The Staples Center cannot contain the Foo Fighters. They had to play outside so as not to blow the fucking roof off.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
5-6 song mini-concert? Awards can wait.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Apparently, Real Housewives of Vancouver is happening. Way to go, assholes. I guess the embarrassment from the riots has worn off.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Was watching hockey and missed the intro. No idea who the singing lion is here. Terrible song though.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
In related news, it's 2-2. I rivalry-hate the Rangers, but I hate the Wings on a level usually reserved for German dictators.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Guess lion-lady is Rihanna. #ChrisBrown should punch Coldplay. It'd be a great PR move.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Jesus. This is fucking terrible. I've never listened to a whole Coldplay song before.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
It's inexcusable that people think this is good music. Those people should be neutered. And shot. And beaten by #ChrisBrown
12h Flawedcast @flawedcast
Like, the kind of drunk where you're pouring more booze down your throat around the exiting vomit.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast I thought he was making vomitus noises there.
12h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
On Whitney: she made a lot of really bad choices that led to her early death. That she used to have talent makes it no more or less tragic.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Is Coldplay the new Nickelback, or have both been shitty for an equal amount of time?
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
If best rock performance goes to Coldplay, music is broken
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Thank you. They gave it to the only ROCK artists of the nominees.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Played off. Guess Dave pissed the producers off by talking about real music.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Next up, legendary surf band...Maroon 5?
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
At least dude can sing. That said, bring out the Beach Boys. And @JohnStamos
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I don't think mash up means what the Grammys producers think it means. It's not "randomly throw together"
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
The Beach Boys weren't thinking 50 years out when they wrote all those high notes.
11h Flawedcast @flawedcast
The Beach Boys just blew Maroon 5 and Foster the People off the stage. #Grammys
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast what's a Foster the People?
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Wait wait wait. A tribute to today's dance music with the Foo Fighters? Color me intrigued.
11h Flawedcast @flawedcast
@psychofish77 That was those queers.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast I thought that was Maroon 5
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Stevie Wonder can do whatever he wants. The man has earned his place among the legends.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Nice of Stevie to intro Sir Paul. I really hope we don't get any Band on the Run bullshit here.
11h Michael Watson @MDWDFW
Legends like Chris Brown and Bruno Mars apparently? RT @psychofish77: Stevie Wonder ... has earned his place among the legends.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@MDWDFW someone needs to hand Stevie a lead pipe and aim him at Chris Brown.
Fred Solomon @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 @MDWDFW Like a pinata? Sweet.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
McCartney as played by Dana Carvey at the end there.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Best R&B album goes to...Chris Brown. He beat the shit out of the competition
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
"I don't know what to say." Sorry would be a good start, asshole. #ChrisBrown
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
This Chris Cornell looking dude has a good sense of humor and a good voice. Also, what did Taylor Swift win two of already?
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I really don't like Taylor Swift. I hate her music, but I also have something against her as a person for some reason.
11h rob delaney @robdelaney
REMEMBER KIDS: It's not enough to punch a woman to win a Grammy. You also have to steal dance moves & lip synch poorly.
Retweeted by Michael Hodge
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
"Production number" is code for "not singing". At the show where they're giving out awards for singing. Niki Minaj has balls. Probably.
11h Flawedcast @flawedcast
Coming up: Adele accidentally confuses her microphone with her eclair #overfeedback
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast Coming up: a performance from One of the Bella Twins.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
NPH makes his obligatory award show appearance presenting songwriter of the year.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Adele (the Bella twin) wins. She's gracious and British and quick.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Oh Kate Beckinsale. You're so pretty.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
If that was an intentional fuckup in the Katy Perry act, it was poorly executed. If not, nice recovery.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Best country album goes to someone I've never heard of. I assume. They're still going through the noms.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Award goes to Lady, Andy, Bellum. Apparently a popular country trio.
11h C.B. Cebulski @CBCebulski
So Dave Grohl gives that amazing acceptance speech about making music naturally again, and then they send them off to LMFAO?!
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@CBCebulski Cut them off with.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
How has no one pulled a Nancy Kerrigan on #ChrisBrown? Never a Gilooly around when you need one.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Also, fucking Red Wings. The #Flyers have some serious problems right now. Gotta win some games, boys.
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Pepper Potts out to introduce Adele, who will sing a song I've never heard.
11h Flawedcast @flawedcast
Kelly Osbourne looks good.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@flawedcast I had no idea the Bellas were British
11h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Not my style, but Adele wasn't at all offensive. Tons of talent there.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I still don't know what two Grammys Swift won, but she's out talking about Glen Campbell, who has "altimers disease". Fucking idiot.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I don't retain info like memories of past Grammys, but this show seems to be 1/2 country and a 4:1 ratio of music to awards, which seems odd
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Way to try to look entertained, crowd. Sadly, you look like I feel.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I muted it. Did they just list nominees for Lifetime Achievement Award? That would be awesome.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
The country theme continues with Carrie Underwood. And Tony Bennett.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Tony Bennett...who apparently won a Grammy tonight. Did I miss the awards show, and this is the world's worst after-party?
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Or did Tony Bennett and Taylor Swift win awards for editing that didn't make the broadcast?
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Bon Iver, who was not, as I thought, an AC/DC singer, won best new artist. Seems like an ungrateful douche. But they played Grohl off.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
We take care of our own. Unless her name is Rihanna. We take care of our artists in their times of crisis. Unless, you know.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Music Cares about everyone but Rihanna.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Beat up our women, but don't download our songs. #MusicCares
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Poor dead Heavy D
Fred Solomon @fsolomon75
@psychofish77 Poor poor dead Heavy D
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Lengthy dead reel this year. Clarence Clemons should have been last.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
To give Whitney a special segment at the beginning and a song after the dead reel is ridiculous. Disrespectful to the other dead.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Where the fuck was Kevin Costner last night? Some bodyguard he turned out to be.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Those women dancing with #ChrisBrown look pretty nervous.
10h Flawedcast @flawedcast
This is a good lesson to young men: don't hit women or you'll only get two performances at the Grammys. #ChrisBrown #FuckThisGuy
Retweeted by Michael Hodge
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Disappointing that Foos decided to play their instruments, not beat #ChrisBrown to death with them.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Now I don't know what's happening. Scary mouse DJ took over.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I never thought I'd be wishing for more and/or longed acceptance speeches. They seem to have foregone the awards portion of the awards show.
10h Tim Micallef @tim_micallef
Anyone else notice...Deadmau5 was lip syncing!!! #Thatssome...
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@tim_micallef Until you retweeted "wa5", I thought it was "Deadmaufive". #outoftouch #okaywiththat
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
They keep telling me people won awards, but they're only showing awful performances.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
This Minaj chick isn't even pretending to sing all the words.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
This isn't shocking or controversial. It's just bad.
10h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I guess this is like SNL, where the last 30 minutes are filler.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Why can't they just call it Song of the Year? A record is the same thing as an album. Album if the year shouldn't be a separate award.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Also, "venti" means 20. Congratulations, you're stupid in three languages.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
This is probably the worst awards show in history. And I'm including the ESPYs.
9h Andy Gaston @DiarrheaVolcano
@psychofish77 There's Song of the Year, Record of the Year and Album of the Year. It's very confusing.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@DiarrheaVolcano Wait, really? At least one of those is redundant.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Hey it's Michael Jack...nope, Diana Ross.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Album of the Year goes to not Foo Fighters.
9h Andy Gaston @DiarrheaVolcano
@psychofish77 It's a moot point anyway, because Adele won all three.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@DiarrheaVolcano They probably just got confused and said fuck it.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Okay, Adele. Shut up and let McCartney close the show. I need this to be over.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I think LL Cool J just offered to fuck America
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
It would have been funnier if Carveh was actually playing Paul here. Not like he was busy doing anything else.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Remember the Joe Strummer tribute? This show should be embarrassed to be associated with that show.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Six guys with guitars on stage. I recognize three. Surprised Bruce stuck around. Paul should be on bass. Dave looks like he's having fun.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
That was superbly awful. I went in with high hopes and was very disappointed. Adele won all of the awards and #ChrisBrown is a hero. Awful.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
My main takeaway from the show is that I really have no idea who won anything. This awards show had almost nothing to do with awards.
9h Andy Richter @Andy_Richter
Everyone at the Grammys is orange.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@Andy_Richter Chris Brown won't punch pylons #littleknownfact
9h Neil Patrick Harris @ActuallyNPH
Great Grammys! Bravo to the entire gang that produces this show. Seriously, from backstage it's unreal. Crew, handlers, producers: bravo!
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
@ActuallyNPH From my couch, it was terrible. No idea who won awards, lots of mic problems, Nicki Minaj. Just terrible.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
I guess Dave Grohl was the yin to Chris Brown's yang. Wrote and sang songs, didn't beat up women. Didn't wear denim tights.
9h Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Coldplay is a shittier Radiohead.
Michael Hodge @psychofish77
Goodnight, Psychophants
"It would have been funnier if Carveh was actually playing Paul here." - funny on several levels