Recap of Davey Richards beating Jay
Lethal last week. Kept very short.
Nigel and Kevin are in the ring, and
they mention Richards win. Tonight,
Roderick Strong faces Eddie Edwards and the winner gets a shot at Davey in
Fort. Lauderdale. But first…..
…..we talk to Mike Bennett and OH MY GOD
MARIA IS HOT. Lance Storm is either 105
(according to Maria) or 107 (according to Bennett). Recently they cut Storm’s leg off and counted
the rings, he is, in fact, 111.
…..TJ Perkins thinks he has a chance
against Bennett tonight. They are cute
when they are that young.
TJ PERKINS vs. MIKE BENNETT w/OH MY GOD
MARIA IS HOT – Perkins looks like he is going to Alex Shelley’s barber. It is not a good look. What is the deal with the whole skunk hair
do? Not a good thing guys. Brutal Bob is back with Bennett and OH MY GOD
MARIA IS HOT. One of these things is not
like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong. Bennett gets a handful of Maria ass, and now
I really hate him. I dig Perkins, even
though he has no chance of winning this match.
I would like to see them push him as a threat to Lethal’s title. They had a match a few months ago that was
very good. Kelly says Perkins isn’t
quick, he’s sudden. I really don’t know
what that means. Maria helps Bennett
reach the ropes, Perkins drags Bennett and Maria into the ring and we get a
fantastic Maria ass shot. Oh and I guess
Bennett got the win, but that is really secondary here. In all seriousness, Maria is still really the
only good thing about Bennett. It’s a
damn good thing, but still the only thing.
COMMERCIALS!
-Young Wolves Rising (still sounds like
a gay porno). This sounds like a good card.
We talk to Jay Lethal who does not think it will be a fair fight, he
will face the Embassy. Ciampa thinks he
will add another notch to his belt, but Jay Lethal is going to add a notch to
HIS belt. TAKE THAT CIAMPA! Seriously, is it me, or does everything that
comes out of both these guys sound very homoerotic?
-Veda Scott is talking to the Embassy
Limited. Let’s test my theory. Ciampa has nothing to lose in NYC, Lethal has
everything to lose. His confidence, his
health, his career, his TV title. Ciampa
is going to win and be the only undefeated champion in ROH history. Ok, he toned down the homoerotic stuff for
this one.
GUY ALEXANDER vs. TOMASSO CIAMPA – Guy who? Ok, Guy Smiley takes on Tomasso Bad
Tights. Seriously, his tights look like
something cut out of curtains from 1972.
The lawyer guy from the Embassy Limited looks like Kenneth Parcell (the
guy from 30 Rock, my new obsession) in other words, very goofy. Evidently Doyle Alexander is coming back from
a back injury or something. ROH folks, was
this guy ever anything, or are they just trying to give a jobber a back
story? The Sicilian Psychopath is a damn
good nickname I gotta say. That was for
Ciampa in case anyone was confused.
Ciampa KILLS Guy Smiley with like six running knees to the face and the
referee stops the match. Not really much
of a match, but they made Ciampa look really good. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Ciampa takes
the title off of Lethal. After the match
Lethal had against Richards last week, I could see them pushing him for the
world title.
INSIDE ROH
-Sunday March 4th, the 10th
anniversary show…..which, since you are reading this on the 5th was
yesterday. They are at the Hammerstein
Ballroom, I liked when ECW ran there.
-The Briscoes still think the Bucks are
pretty. They aren’t taking them lightly,
but they may still rape them. Not that
ROH condones rape
-Kevin Steen wears a top hat. I mean really, how can you not like this
guy? Steen is happy to spend the night
with Jacobs, they are going to let the champagne and blood flow. I want to party with Steen.
-Showdown in the Sun March 30 &
31. This is shaping up to be a pretty
good card too. Richards faces the winner
of the Strong/Edwards match in the 30th. Also, Bennett faces Lance Storm. Storm called ROH and asked for the
match. Storm is moral like that. Also, WGTT face the Briscoes.
-All Night Express face the Bucks in a
Dual Duel. Two matches, two nights. Street fight one night, tornado match the
next. Sounds good. The Bucks said no to a street fight, but
wanted a tornado match, but the officials made both matches anyway. Wait, I am confused. If the Bucks say they were too smart to let the
ANX pick the stips, but then ROH made the match anyway……ok stop thinking.
-Chikara is going to be featured during
the New York and Florida shows. I can’t
say I know a thing about Chikara. Is
that the stuff with Dr. Cube? Or
Ebessan? Speaking of….as an aside here…..there
is a YouTube clip of Ebessan and some other guy wrestling a match in slow
motion, cracked me up, go look it up, totally worth it.
MAIN EVENT TIME!
RODERICK STRONG w/Truth Martini (who is
nowhere near as hot as OH MY GOD MARIA IS HOT) vs. EDDIE EDWARDS
A guy in the crowd is wearing a Yo MTV
Raps t-shirt. When they started taping
this show, I think Yo MTV Raps was still on the air. I wonder what they do with all the streamers
that are thrown into the ring? ROH
should open a party store. Streamers R
Us or something. Some back story here,
Eddie beat Strong for the ROH title. He beat him in something called the
Ringmaster Challenge, which I don’t know what that was either. Someone fill me in here. Also, Edwards beat
Strong to in that insane 80 minute plus eight man tag match a month or so
ago. So these two DO have a history. They recapped the whole Richards/O’Reily
vs. Edwards/Cole thing, rather
unnecessarily. Edwards hits a nice
sliding dropkick while Strong was in the Tree of Woe. Slick move.
COMMERCIALS!
-Davey Richards talks about who he is
going to face at the Ft. Lauderdale show.
He is collecting heads in Florida because he is a Headhunter. Ok then.
LOCAL COMMERCIAL – commercial for some
workers comp lawyer, a kid is all upset because his daddy got hurt and “now he
can’t work so good no more” gotta love when local commercials push that stupid
hick stereotype.
WE’RE BACK! Roddy gets the upper hand by some Truth
shenanigans……just like a good manager should.
Seriously, both TNA and WWE are missing the boat on bringing back good
old-school managers. Strong lifts
Edwards for a suplex, then just throws him at the ropes. Great dick move, great visual too. Truth distracts Eddie as he goes for the
double stomp. Adam Cole comes out and
KILLS Truth with a superkick. Not a
smart move because now you have PISSED MICHAEL ELGIN RIGHT THE HELL OFF. Eddie does a suicide dive out of the ring
that takes all of them out. With the
referee distracted, Strong wraps something around his boot and hits the SICK
KICK (I think that is what it is called) and gets the three count!
Waaaaaaait a second. Paul Turner comes out and calls Strong a
dirty cheater. The referee’s argue,
Eddie nails Strong with a superkick, ref bump and Turner counts the three count
for Edwards. Well now this won’t
do. We go to commercial, then come back
and Jimmy Cornette is in the ring to be the voice of reason. We are all in trouble. Cornette takes a page out of the WWE’s
Playbook of Thinking Well Within the Box and announces that Davey Richards will
defend against Roderick Strong AND Eddie Edwards at Showdown in the Sun’s
Friday show in what sounds like a TRUE triple threat match. Ok, I am not really a fan of Strong, but do
we need ANOTHER Richards/Edwards match?
Let him go do the tag team thing with Cole.
This was a really good match, though
something bothered me. Edwards is not as
bad at no-selling things as Davey Richards, but he probably spent 90% of the
match on offense. Strong would hit a
move, Edwards would sell it, for a few seconds, then almost immediately get the
upper hand again.
Very good show. I have no idea what they are going to show
next week, I assume they will show the 10th Anniversary show. Maybe I get to see Kevin Steen!
Hope you enjoyed the recap, feel free to
leave comments here, or head to Puns House www.punshouse.com
and leave a comment there. There is some
damn fine stuff on that message board (also, if you like fantasy wrestling,
drop me a line about the OOWF, OMG CHEAP PLUG!)
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