Ooooh, you
cannot reach me now
Ooooh, no matter how you try
Goodbye, cruel world, it's over
Walk on by.
Sitting in the third row here behind ringside
Waiting to leave Du Burns sometime.
In perfect isolation here at ringside
Waiting to leave Du Burns sometime.
We're {waiting for the taping} and going
to convene outside the arena
for those in charge where we're going to
be...
Waiting to cut up Grizzly Redwood.
Waiting for
Maria, OMG SO PRETTY
Waiting to
escape from Du Burns
Waiting to
buy a Kill Steen Kill t-shirt
Waiting for
Richards to sell for the weaklings
Waiting to
put a Briscoe through a window
And kick in
their teeth
Waiting for a
American Wolf resolution
To ease up
my pain
Waiting to
escape from Du Burns
Waiting for
an attack in the showers
And a brawl
between dozens
Waiting for
Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team
To get in
the ring
Waiting to
escape from Du Burns
Would you like to see Ring of Honor
Tape somewhere
else, my friend?
All you have
to do is escape from Du Burns.
Would you
like to see your family
And sunshine
again, my friend?
All you need
to do is escape from Du Burns
We open live……from the Du Burns Ar……..wait a minute……..THIS IS NOT THE DU BURNS
ARENA!
We open in
New York City where Adam Cole PINS Davey Richards! Highlights from the ROH 10th
Anniversary Show. Davey does the goofy
take a knee handshake, but Kyle O’Reily is a dick and doesn’t respect
anyone, Kevin Steen is talking on the
balcony of the Hammerstein Ballroom and respects everyone even LESS! Take THAT
O’Reily. Steen is going to haunt Davey
until Davey convinces Cornette to give Steen a match. I like where this is headed!
We come back
and……..DAMN YOU RING OF HONOR! WE ARE STILL IN THE DU BURNS ARENA!! They are
never going to leave.
We start
right off with a match……
ADAM COLE
vs. CHRIS SILVIO
First, Adam
Cole has things to say. He is thrilled
to get the win for the team, but thinks Kyle is a great big douche for not
shaking his hands. Cole is going to MAKE
him respect him……by force! Cole faces
the “Psychedelic Superstar” Chris Silvio.
I kind of dig Silvio, he looks like (as pointed out by Nigel) a
throwback to Austin Idol, Jesse Ventura or Billy Graham……except he is about 80
pounds lighter and six inches shorter.
Kyle O’Reily joins Nigel and Kevin on commentary and adds nothing. This guy just oozes dull. We find out that O’Reily gets a shot at
Lethal’s TV title at Showdown in the Sun on Friday. This is far less of a squash than I thought
it would be. Silvio is allowed to look
kind of good in this one, he bumps his ass off for Cole though. Cole KILLS Silvio with a fireman’s carry into
a neck breaker kind of thing, looked BRUTAL.
Silivo catches Cole with a straight punch to the face, which Cole sells
like he had been shot. Naturally though,
Silvio does not go for the cover and moments later, Cole hits the FLORIDA KEY
for the win. Afterward, Kyle O’Reily
decides he has not been QUITE enough of a douche and grabs a mic. He challenges Cole to a match for the
Saturday portion of Showdown in the Sun, which, I guess in theory, could be for
the ROH TV title if O’Reily beats Lethal on Friday….yeah right. Cole calls O’Reily a PMS bitch…..can’t really
argue with that…..and accepts the match.
Up next….KEVIN
STEEN TALKS…..and I can barely wait!
COMMERCIALS!
-the House
of Truth comes out, Strong talks up his match, naturally says he is going to
walk away with the ROH title. Elgin says
nothing. That was disappointing.
WE ARE
BACK! The main event tonight is Jay
Lethal vs. Roderick Strong in the first match of the March Mayhem tournament…..more
on that later!
Before that…..Young
Wolves Rising in New York…..recap of Jacobs vs. Steen. Gotta say I wasn’t real big on Jacobs….but
after seeing this? Holy shit. Between this and the Age of the Fall stuff….wow. He tries to KILL Steen with a steel spike to
the face. Steen wins, but the match
looks AWESOME.
Steen comes
out to the beginning of Davey Richards music, AND he is carrying a tennis
racket to mock Cornette. How many ways
can I say I love Kevin Steen? Steen
talks about the Blind Destiny challenge, and wonders if Cornette is going
blind. Steen faces Edwards, and when he
beats him, it puts him one step closer to winning the title, which is his
destiny…..OMG WORD PLAY! He is going to
win the title and hold ROH hostage, and make Cornette kiss his feet (bad), ass
(even worse) and bal…..ahhhh Jimmy C gets out there before Steen can say
balls. Cornette announces his opponent
for the Friday portion of Showdown in the Sun and it is……..EL GENERICO! Now, if this was the WWE, Steen would have
flipped out and acted like there was NO WAY he should face El Generico! HOW
COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME! But not Steen…..Steen is happy about it, which is,
once again, why I love Steen.
COMMERCIALS!
INSIDE RING
OF HONOR!
Kevin pimps
Showdown in the Sun, which actually looks like a really good two day card.
-Friday
3/30, 8 matches, including Bucks vs. ANX, Lethal vs. O’Reilly and Bennett vs.
Storm
-Lance Storm
is still alive! He does a very long and
very rambling promo. And he looks like
Sam the Eagle from the Muppets. You
know, I hated the whole “you’re boring” thing Austin did to Storm back in the
day, but holy shit this promo is BRUTAL.
-the Friday
main event is Richards vs. Edwards vs. Strong.
Richards talks about it and bores me to tears. I hope Richards never teams with Storm, that
could be the most boring promo team in the history of wrestling. I did find out that Richards and Strong used
to run together, I did not know that. He
calls Michael Elgin the “War Machine” I like that. Didn’t they call Rhi(y)no that at one
point? Davey says the only way someone
is going to take the title from him is if they walk through the hell he has
gone through and pries the title from his cold dead fingers. I would point out that if he was in hell, his
dead fingers probably wouldn’t be cold, but to be realistic, this man COULD
kick my head off my shoulders
-Saturday
features the three Blind Destiny Challenge matches, Steen vs. Edwards, Lethal vs.
Strong and Richards vs. Elgin. We also
have a tag title match war between the Briscoes and WGTT
-the
Briscoes dismiss WGTT for wrestling “makeshift” tag teams on Monday nights. The Briscoes had to go home and tell Papa
Briscoe that they got their ass whupped by one man. That did not go over well. They guarantee that someone is getting
carried out of the ring
-WGTT offer
a retort. They say after the 31st
that is IT. The last match. It’s over.
Ok then. I have a feeling it will
NOT be over at all.
MAIN EVENT TIME!
March Mayhem. Eight guys in a tournament, Lethal, Strong,
Elgin, Ciampa, Bennett, Edwards, Cole and O’Reily. Each man put up $1500 and ROH matches it, for
a $24,000 prize. First round matches
take place over the next four weeks, then it appears that the final is a four
way match.
Lethal
enters the tournament as the TV champ, but doesn’t have the title because
Ciamap took it from him. They recap
their match in New York, and it looked like a pretty good one. Went to a fifteen minute draw and Ciampa
steals the title. He KILLS Lethal with
PROJECT CIAMPA which is a BRUTAL looking move and steals the title.
RODERICK
STRONG vs. JAY LETHAL
But FIRST…..More
commercials!
Did you know
Showdown in the Sun is the end of March?
I promise you it is! Seems like
there might be another wrestling event taking place right around that time too….
-Kelly pimps
the three way match a little more and asks Eddie about the match. Eddie claims HE is leaving with the title…..wait,
Richards and Strong said the same thing! DRAMA!
We’re BACK!
This should be a pretty good match. They
mention again that Ciampa still has the TV title…..but he hasn’t had a match
announced for Showdown in the Sun yet.
Wonder if that will change. They
keep saying that they will win $24,000 if they win this tournament, but if they
put up $1500, wouldn’t they really only be winning $22,500? Or can you win back what you put in? Anyway…..the match. Lethal seems to dominate
most of the match, Strong gets the upper hand when Truth interferes. Strong hits a slingshot suplex, niiiiice,
haven’t seen one of those in a long time.
Truth gets involved again and gets KILLED by Lethal, Strong rolls Lethal
up and does the good old fashioned feet on the ropes, but only gets a two
count. Elgin comes out and tries to
interfere, but it doesn’t work so well, Strong and Elgin smack heads and Lethal
rolls him up for the three count. ROH
loves them some roll-up finishes.
Next week!
WGTT vs. Coleman & Alexander, and if I heard right, two more March Mayhem
matches, I believe Elgin vs. Cole and Ciampa vs. O’Reily maybe? I didn’t quite catch it. Anyway, tune in, it should be good!
Be sure to
check out www.punshouse.com for more ROH reviews and general
chatter. And if you are into fantasy
wrestling, there is no fed better than the OOWF, just go to www.oowrestling.com and check us out in the fantasy thread! We have been going for over seven years now!
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