The Microwave - Miracle on Ice: 30 Years Later

Quoting an article from the Toronto Sun: there are moments in history when time, place and opportunity converge to create magic. This was undoubtedly one of those moments.


I came across this YouTube video many, many months ago. Many of the comments on the video questioned the validity of the audio on it, and there admittedly ARE some parts that seem a little "off." But I did a little research on it when I first came across the video and I'm pretty sure this is legit.


A fellow named Curt Chaplin, who worked the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics with ABC sports, was not working on February 22, 1980. He decided to use his press pass and take in the USA/USSR hockey game that afternoon, and used a tape recorder to do his own call of the game. He apparently came across these tapes a few years ago, took the video of the game and matched it up with his audio, using Ken Dryden's color commentary to fill in some of the blanks, and boom... we have a alternate call of the Miracle on Ice.


Is it Al Michaels legendary, career-making performance? No. But not being on ABC allowed Chaplin to let it all out on his personal call of the game, and it makes for a riveting video. Enjoy!

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The Microwave - 2010 NFL Playoff Preview: The Shawshank Version

Mikey's Shawshank Redemption 2010 NFL Playoff Preview


I ain't seen such a sorry lookin' heap o' maggot shit in all my life.


The New York Jets. Seriously... THIS is a playoff team? Let's rattle off their last few victories... a Bengals team mailing it in for the sole purpose of being able to play the Jets in the playoffs, a Colts team who was winning before it benched its starters, the hapless Buccaneers, the hapless Bills, a Jake Delhomme-led Panthers team, and the Raiders. I don't see a single impressive win since September.


His first night in the joint, Andy Dufresne cost me two packs of cigarettes. He never made a sound.


After all the crap Carson Palmer's been fed for the past five years, credit Palmer for not making a scene and throwing management under the bus, because he's had every right to do so with that circus in Cincinnati. Inexplicably, he led the Bengals to the AFC North title this year. He might be the most underrated player in the league.


I must admit I didn't think much of Andy first time I laid eyes on him; looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. That was my first impression of the man.


Mark Sanchez, rookie quarterback, on the road, in the playoffs? Kid's gonna get rocked.


BENGALS: 17-6 in a snoozer.




Son, six wardens have been through here in my tenure, and I've learned one immutable, universal truth: Not one of them born whose asshole wouldn't pucker up tighter than a snare drum when you ask them for funds.


Cowboys fans are totally opposite of the six wardens at Shawshank. After the fuss they made about the mammoth stadium and outrageous prices, the place is still selling out, despite the $30 parking. I've been here in Dallas for a week - these bastards are insufferable already.


I want him found. Not tomorrow, not after breakfast - now!


DeSean Jackson. I know Dallas has shut him down in two contests this season. But it's a brand new game in January. I find it hard to believe that the pitiful Dallas secondary wasn't just lucky before, because they've given up silly plays to about every other team they've played. Jackson goes off on Saturday night - bank on it.


You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific? They say it has no memory.


Tony Romo needs no memory if the Cowboys are to advance anywhere. Sure, Dallas shook their "December curse" or whatever that crap was, but again, the pressure amps up in the playoffs, and nowhere is the pressure greater than in Dallas. The Seattle debacle, giving away the Giants game, laying down in Philly last year... past failures are sunk costs and must not figure into current decisions.


You see that's tax deductible, you can write that off.


As can Wade Phillips' case of Budweiser. It can be written off because it is used for his job, as it will likely be the only rationale for some stupid decision he makes late in the game to cost Dallas the win.


EAGLES: 22-20 on a late field goal after a questionable 4th down play at midfield is stopped by the Eagles D.




And then Andy says, "Mr. Dekins, do you want your sons to go to Harvard... or Yale?"


Or Delaware. I like the current trend of guys from small schools getting shots at the NFL. The LeFevour kid from Central Michigan will follow suit. I wouldn't exactly say that Flacco "won" two playoff games last year, but he at least managed two playoff wins before getting bounced in a good game against the Steelers. What am I saying? I'm saying he's no longer a liability and will know what to expect in what will be a rowdy atmosphere in Foxborough on Sunday.


Hadley busted up his head pretty good. Doc went home for the night. Poor bastard laid there till this morning. By then, there was nothing we could do.


Poor Wes Welker. Catches a little underneath route in the first quarter in a game with little on the line, and two seconds later his knee's in shreds and his season is over. Does this mean Belichick is Byron Hadley? He'd be more like the warden, wouldn't he?


The funny thing is - on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.


Whereas Ray Lewis was a crook on the outside until he got entangled with the law in a murder that he had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH. Then he found God. Or something. Get this late-piling, stat-padding, dancing idiot out of here.


PATRIOTS: 24-23 in a dandy, as Billy Cundiff's game winning field goal doinks off the right upright in breezy Gillette Stadium with 13 seconds left.




Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side.


You know who else made that same journey? Aaron Rodgers. The presumed #2 pick in the 2005 draft (Ronnie Brown hasn't been bad, but Miami REALLY could've used him) falls all the way to the end of the first round and lands behind primadonna Brett Favre in Green Bay. The front office sets in place a plan to move Rodgers in as the guy after Favre tells everyone he's retiring, but then gets jerked around by #4's antics before finally getting his chance after Favre angles himself as a martyr that got run out of Green Bay. Now, Rodgers has the pressure of not just replacing a legend, but also JUSTIFYING management's "decision" to run Favre out of town. Somehow, the kid's delivered for the most part. Playoff success is the only thing missing.


You'll be tellin' the warden about my baton up your ass!


This is basically what Larry Fitzgerald is going to say to the Packers defense after Sunday's late game. He owned the playoffs last year and is a sleeping tiger just waiting to eat. He'll get his against Green Bay.


CARDINALS: 34-31 (OT). After Fitzgerald catches a bomb from Warner to give the Cards a 31-28 lead with two minutes left, Rodgers rallies the troops and drives for a Green Bay field goal to force OT. Arizona wins the toss and scores in four minutes, triggering our annual "NFL should change overtime rules" debate.




Give him another month to think about it.


The Saints will have had a month since their last win by the time they suit up next weekend. Who are these guys? Are they the team that went into Week 15 undefeated? Or are they the team who have lost three straight? Has any team ever lost out after going undefeated for any length of time? Ya know, besides the 1-15 Panthers in 2001 who dropped 15 straight to end the season? Lots to think about with this New Orleans team.


Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.


It can also drive Donovan McNabb insane. How much is left in the tank for McNabb? He's only about 33, but how many good years are left? There's a lot of mileage on those legs, and he's taken a beating over the years. He was supposed to be the guy to lead the Eagles to the Super Bowl. Four trips to the NFC Championship, only one win and a Super Bowl loss. The Eagles are young, but the NFC's improving from the conference the Eagles dominated 5-7 years ago. Is this McNabb's last good chance?


SAINTS 41-27. New Orleans goes up 14-0 early behind a raucous [read: drunk] Superdome crowd and Philly's got to play catchup the whole game and can never get even.




Get busy living, or get busy dying.


Speaking of teams that are looking at their "last, good chance," isn't this Indy's best chance to win the Super Bowl? The AFC is a tad down this year, with New England and Baltimore a notch off their usual pace and the Steelers sitting at home. Indy may have been the "worst 14-0 team ever," but they kept winning somehow. Will Garcon and Collie totally evolve into top flight receivers? Will either Joe Addai or Donald Brown develop into a #1 back? How many wars does that aging defense have left in the tank? We know Peyton Manning isn't getting any younger, though that may not matter since he's a robot.


The man likes to play chess; let's get him some rocks.


And that's the Colts plan to beat Cincinnati. Cedric Benson will be busted for cocaine possession (presumably purchased from Marvin Harrison) two days before their divisional playoff game. After their poise following the Chris Henry tragedy, this incident will push the Bengals over the edge and create a distraction. Not a good combo for when Manning's looking for an edge.


COLTS 30-13 in a "business as usual" win for Indy.




You have to be human first. They don't qualify.


Adrian Peterson isn't human. He's a cyborg sent from another galaxy to take over the universe, and the bad guys know that if they can destroy the NFL from within, Earth will surely fall thereafter. The problem is, Peterson needs the ball to dominate, and SOMEBODY is gonna want to be the playoff hero...


The man's been in here fifty years, Heywood. Fifty years! This is all he knows. In here, he's an important man. He's an educated man. Outside, he's nothin'! Just a used up con with arthritis in both hands.


I don't need to say who is represented by this nugget of wisdom from Red.


Do you enjoy working in the laundry?
No sir, not especially.


Brad Childress... too bad, get used to it. After you blow this season for Minnesota, that's what you'll be doing - new contract or not.


I understand you're a man who knows how to get things.


Kurt Warner knows how to get things... that being, playoff wins. The Vikings can stop the run, but the Cards would rather throw it all over the yard. Warner won't be rattled by the Minnesota pass rush and has enough talent (even with Boldin out) down the field to make plays.


CARDINALS 26-21, featuring a Peterson fumble to give the Cards points before the half, and that play gives Favre the rationale to throw the ball in the second half, and that of course leads to a late interception to seal the deal for Arizona.




There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.


Can't you see Norv Turner saying something like this when sitting down for a contract extension? At this point, he's heard all the criticism, so who cares? I know this much... his Chargers are playing the best football of the 12 teams still alive.


Only guilty man in Shawshank.


Bill Belichick knows this. He knows he's used loopholes, been a bastard, pulled every trick in the book to keep his Patriots competitive. Belichick lives with this on his conscience, and he doesn't care.


I had your mother, she wasn't that great!


Presumably a direct quote from Philip Rivers, talking to a fan from the sidelines.


CHARGERS 27-23, as Rivers leads an 80 yard drive in the final four minutes, hitting Antonio Gates with the game winner with 25 seconds left. Most entertaining game of the playoffs.




Drink up while it's cold, ladies.


We know this... barring outlandish upsets across the board, the conference title games will NOT be played in cold weather. Indy, New Orleans, San Diego, Minnesota... all domes or warm weather. This usually means upsets are to be had.


And it's Fat Ass by a nose!!!


Jonathan Vilma isn't exactly fat, but he's a big boy, and look for him to make a big play to turn a game in the playoffs, like say a forced fumble to turn momentum in the NFC Title game.


SAINTS 30-24 as the Saints escape with a late turnover as the Cards threaten to win the game.


I'd like to think that the last thing that went through his head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.


And Peyton Manning will wonder how the San Diego Chargers got the best of him... again.


CHARGERS 24-20 in a crazy, turnover-filled contest decided on a fumble by Austin Collie as the Colts try to drive to win the game.




Lord! It's a miracle! ... Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind!


And won't LaDainian Tomlinson vanish in the Super Bowl? Sure, with Rivers, Sproles, and everyone else, the Chargers have enough with out LDT to compete, but it's the pronciple of the matter.


Salvation lies within.


SAINTS 27-20. Three years late, but the Big Easy finally gets their championship.

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The Microwave - Can't Spell "Overrated Chumps" without O-S-U

Remember when Monday Night Football started doing the "self-intro" starting lineups several years back? "Peyton Manning, Tennessee." "LaDainian Tomlinson, TCU." "Lawrence Phillips, California State Penitentiary." And so on...? It also led to this:

"Ted Ginn, Jr, THE Ohio State University."

"Antoine Winfield, THE Ohio State University"

"A.J. Hawk, THE Ohio State University"

Seriously, the only thing more more annoying than that was the guys from Miami: "Andre Johnson, The U." But the difference between "The U" and "THE Ohio State University" is that when Miami was atop the college football world, both in the 80's-early 90's, and their late '90's-early 00's resurgence... the Hurricanes actually won big games. Often. Which brings us to last night.

After Ohio State's crushing home loss to USC, in which OSU blew a late 4th quarter lead by allowing a freshman quarterback to go 95 YARDS on Southern Cal's last drive of the game, the Buckeyes wake up today on the wrong side of the box score yet again. ESPN color analyst, and OSU grad, Kirk Herbstreit made the comment last night after the game to the effect of "you have to credit Ohio State for proving it can play and be competitive against a quality opponent like USC."

Oh really now? I have to give OSU credit because they're a top 10 team that hung with a superior opponent? The Buckeyes are top 10 and shoved down our throats every year. But I have to give them credit now? Let's look at their track record since their alleged National Title in 2002. We'll go in reverse chronological order:

2009: #3 USC at #8 OSU (18-15 LOSS) *Blew lead in final 2 minutes

2008: #10 OSU vs. #3 Texas (24-21 LOSS) *Fiesta Bowl, blew lead in final 2 minutes

2008: #3 Penn State at #9 OSU (13-6 LOSS) *Blew lead in final 7 minutes

2008: #5 OSU at #1 USC (35-3 LOSS) *One of the biggest locks in gambling history

2007: #1 OSU vs. #2 LSU (38-24 LOSS) *BCS Title Game, gave up 31 straight points after taking 10-0 lead

2006: #1 OSU vs. #2 Florida (41-14 LOSS) *BCS Title Game, outscored 41-7 after opening kick return TD

2006: #2 Michigan vs. #1 OSU (42-39 WIN) *Michigan, after playing nobody all year to achieve their lofty ranking, promptly got whipped by USC in the Rose Bowl

2006: #1 OSU at #2 Texas (24-7 WIN) *Colt McCoy was a freshman, and this Texas team was so awesome that it went on to win the Alamo Bowl

2005: #4 OSU vs. #5 Notre Dame (34-20 WIN) *Fiesta Bowl, this was the Irish team that was overhyped due to their hard fought home loss against USC, which they proceeded to give up the entire field in about 3.7 seconds in the final minute of the game

2005: #6 OSU at #16 Penn State (17-10 LOSS) *Everyone pretty much had this game pegged as the Big Ten game of the year, prime time in Happy Valley... and OSU can't get the job done... again

2005: #2 Texas at #4 OSU (25-22 LOSS) *Blew lead in final 3 minutes, featuring a fumble AND Troy Smith getting sacked in the end zone on two separate plays in the Buckeyes' comeback effort AFTER blowing said lead

2004: #22 Ohio State vs. (NR) Oklahoma State (33-7 WIN) *Alamo Bowl, what the hell is OSU doing in the Alamo Bowl? I know, I thought the same thing. But keep reading...

2004: #6 OSU at (NR) Northwestern (33-27 OT LOSS)

2004: #15 Wisconsin at #16 OSU (24-13 LOSS)

2004: (NR) OSU at (NR) Iowa (33-7 LOSS) *That's why, With losses in successive weeks, OSU starts Big Ten 0-3, would go on to lose to Purdue, as well. This season's obviously a write-off. ANY team who loses to Northwestern should be written off.

2003: #6 OSU vs. #10 Kansas State (35-28 WIN) *Fiesta Bowl, this was the goofy year where K-State beat Oklahoma in the Big XII title game, and OU still got to play for the BCS Title. Of the few wins I've listed here, this is, at worst, the second best of the bunch

2003: #6 OSU at #4 Michigan (35-21 LOSS) *A win would've put the Buckeyes in the BCS Title Game, but instead, they lose to the John Navarre-led Wolverines. I'm sure a talent like Navarre went on to a huge NFL career.

I'm supposed to "give credit" to that? No wonder we're in a recession.

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The View From Down Here - This is the Year?

On the eve of the second Cubs/Cardinals series (this time at Busch Stadium) I thought I would take a cue from Solly, and give my take on the state of the Cubs as well as the NL Central in general.


First of all, let’s take a look at the NL Central standings 16 games in:

You’re reading that right.  Cincinnati and Pittsburgh are ahead of the Cubs.  I never doubted that St. Louis would be up there.  They always find a way to stay competitive.  As much as I hate Tony LaRussa, you have to give him credit for that.  But the Reds and the Pirates?  I realize it’s early, but no one thought things would be taking shape like this.


To say the Cubs offense is sputtering would be an understatement.  For the most part, they have looked lethargic and uninspired so far.  They are getting on base, but they are being stranded out there.  This is a team that had a +184 run differential last year.  So far into this season, they have a +6.  And that’s with adding Milton Bradley.


OK, that last part isn’t entirely true.  They have sort of added Milton Bradley.  “The Game” (he of the three year, $30 million contract) has played in all of 9 games while nursing a groin injury.  And in those 9 games, he’s barey batting above my 4 year old daughter’s weight (.043).  And what does last year’s AL leader in on-base percentage bring to the Cubs so far?  A “stellar” .267 OBP.  To put that into perspective, he’s just barley above Barry Zito.  Let that sink in for a second.  Barry Zito.  A pitcher.  A pitcher that spent most of his career on an AL team.  A pitcher with a career .103 OBP is barely below Milton Bradley.  This is all coming from a guy who said this at the beginning of the season, “I’m on a personal mission to win a championship. The Cubs have been in a long drought. Hopefully, we can help each other.” Well,  he better step it up, or it won’t just be the boos of the fans Bradley will have to worry about.


In his defense, though, he’s not the only one scuffling.  Last year’s NL Rookie of the Year, Geovany Soto, is batting a paltry .103 with 3 total bases in 29 at bats.  You read that right.  THREE total bases.  Derrek Lee, a Triple Crown contender just a few seasons ago, is batting just .207 and 1 home run.  Mike “Little Lord” Fontenot, or “The Player Mark DeRosa was Traded for to Give him More Playing Time” is barely above the Mendoza Line at .209 as well.  These three need to start producing or the Cubs could be in big trouble.


There are some bright spots, however.  Alfonso Soriano is tied for the league lead in home runs and has, get this, a .407 OBP.  He’s actually taking walks this season….sometimes 2 or 3 a game.  He finally has the numbers of a true leadoff hitter.  Plus, the power numbers don’t hurt.


Micah Hoffpauir may be proving that last year was no fluke.  He’s currently batting .350 (.364 OBP) with a HR and 5 RBI in limited playing time, filling in for Milton Bradley.  If he continues to hit (and that’s a big IF, considering he is pushing 30 and is a career minor leaguer), I would definitely consider moving DLee to a contender needing a 1B, for a top notch prospect.  It could really help stock a depleted farm system.  It could also help with a trade deadline deal later in the season.  Then, next year, you move ARam over to 1B and open up 3B for the Cubs stud prospect, Josh Vitters.  But that’s a story for another blog…..


Koskue Fukudome, “Mr. April”, looks like he could be having a bounce back year.  He’s currently batting .347 with a .476 OBP.  He is also tied with Aramis Ramirez for second on the team with 3 HR.  His 10 RBI is second, just behind Ramirez’s 14.  Of course, he looked just as good at the beginning of last season.  The fact that he made adjustments this season, even after the pitchers started pitching to him differently, does bode well, however.


Speaking of Aramis Ramirez, he continues to be “Mr. Clutch”.  He’s batting .353 with 3 HR and 14 RBI.  So far this season, with runners on, he’s batting 1.000 with a 1.000 SLG.  Not to mention, he’s absolutely killing the ball with the bases loaded, slugging 1.333.  He even comes through in what are normally considered “pressure situations”:

Personally, I think the jury is still out on Hoffpauir, Fontenot, and (to an extent) Soto.  The good news is that Bradley and Lee have a decent history to suggest that they will bounce back.  In the meantime, however, “Sweet” Lou needs to do something to light a fire under this team, or it’s going to be a long season, stuck behind Pittsburgh and Cincinnati.

Oh, and I’ll be gone this weekend with the wife, so if any of you have my cell number and want to send me text updates on the games, it would really be appreciated…..by me anyway.

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Sollywood - The New Yuck Mess

Well I didn’t think it would take 13 games to spawn my first Mets rant but it’s Mikey’s birthday so this is my present to him.


The 6-7 record means nothing to me, it’s the fact I’ve seen this act 3 years in a row now. The offense scores early, has the other pitcher on the ropes, and doesn’t do anything the rest of the game.  There has been a lack of intensity, a lack of fundamentals, and a lack of any kind of a sense of urgency really since Game 7 of the NLCS. Last night I saw all of the ingredients in St. Louis, complete with Benny Hill music in the background (thanks Moose).


OFFENSE:


The Mets put up 4 early runs but still couldn’t land that knockout punch and were absolutely atrocious on the basepaths. Murphy was picked off 1B and thrown out at the plate but the best was saved for last when Beltran pulled a Jeremy Giambi in the 8th inning as he tried to score standing up, even though the fucking ball was right in front of him and he knew it would be close. What happened in fundamentals? One of the first things you learn in little league is slide if it’s close. But no, the pretty boy can’t slide because he must have had a tube of Vagisil in his back pocket and/or he doesn’t want to hurt the catcher, his buddy Molina. I hate that shit. If there’s a play at the plate, you need to knock that catcher into the fucking dugout. What a fucking joke.


PITCHING:


Oliver Perez is a cunt. A team gives him a 4-0 lead and he couldn’t hold it, to the point where he went all Kenny Rogers on The Great Khalil, he of the mighty .290 OBP. How the FUCK do you walk him of all people with the bases loaded and two outs? $36M for a guy who’s afraid to challenge hitters, for a guy who has no balls to pitch through tough spots? He’s completely worthless and I wish Omar would have given Lowe that 4th year. Sure he might be a decade older than Perez but has there ever been a more underrated big game pitcher than Lowe? Really though, Perez reminds me of one of those old school Mexican banditos or something. He just needs the evil mustache and he’ll have it down-pat, since he already perfected the stealing money part.


DEFENSE:


Murphy just isn’t cut out for the OF. That’s two horrific errors in the span of 13 games and the worst part is Manuel’s quote after last night’s disaster: “We’ll get to a point to where he’ll almost be average.” Are you kidding me? This is what a $140M payroll gets these days? A LF aspiring to be mediocre? If they were willing to live with horrible LF defense, why not open the wallet to get Manny in the off season? At least he makes up for it with his bat… which brings me to my last point.


PHILOSOPHY:


All winter long, I heard about how these Mets were going to stress a team-first attitude and the value of fundamentals… and then they sign Sheffield. League minimum or not, if you’re going to take on someone with baggage, how about someone who isn’t 40 and who has actually played the field since 2005? You moved into a new stadium, you still could have bumped up the payroll and signed Manny for two years while staying under the luxury tax. I applaud Omar for the new bullpen but there was still work to do, at the very least getting another thumper in that lineup or someone to take the pressure off Wright. The Nats got Dunn for a steal, Omar couldn’t at least have kicked the tires?


I’m just flabbergasted that the same group of players who endured Game 7, the 2007 collapse, and the 2008 choke, are content with this kind of play. I’m not saying treat April like October but this team, more than any other, should know that every game makes a difference and a loss in April is the same as one in September.

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The View From Down Here - Take Me Out to a Ballgame....Just not on a Thursday Night

As most of you know, I currently live in Asheville, NC, home of the Asheville Tourists – presently, the Colorado Rockies Class A affiliate. What some of you may not know is that one of the things the Tourists are famous for is for creating a staple used at almost all minor league ballparks across America….Thirsty Thursday.

Thirsty Thursday is essentially a cheap beer night, so it really just equates to a bunch of college kids going out to the game to get drunk. But, I decided to suck it up for you, my loyal readers (all 11 of you – it was 10, but I’ve started reading the blog to my baby boy) and head out to good ol’ McCormick Field (made famous in the final scene of Bull Durham when Crash Davis hit his record breaking home run) for the game last night. Let me just say this, as a baseball fan, I hate going to those games on Thursday nights. A few observations:

• I really can’t stand going to a game where 80% of the people there care nothing about the game. Last night was nothing more than a place for the college kids to get drunk and be seen. (And, yes, as a Cub fan, I’ve heard that misconception about Wrigley Field, but I can tell you with absolute certainty this is not true.) You had your yuppie guys in their J.Crew and Abercrombie outfits, girls in their skirts and high heels with perfect makeup, and your salesmen making phone calls all night.
• What’s even worse than the people who go and don’t care about the game, are the people that know nothing about the game, yet try to seem like they do. Here’s the situation: Greensboro runner on 2B, Tourists up by 10 runs. The batter hits a looper to CF. The CF picks up the ball and throws to 2B. The fans started booing and heckling the CF for not trying to get the out at home. Now, I realize that there are several subtle nuances to baseball that not everyone will get, but it should be common knowledge that when you have a lead of that size, you don’t worry about that runner scoring. You get the ball to 2B, so the other runner doesn’t advance into scoring position as well. Maybe I’m wrong that most people should know this. I don’t know. It was the same way with a runner on 3B and a shallow fly was hit to LF. They heckled the 3B coach for not sending the runner.
• I think this is probably just the parent in me rearing it’s ugly head, because I don’t think I would have complained about this four years ago. One of the other reasons I dislike Thursday games is the language used by the drunk so-called fans in attendance. I admit that I sometimes curse like a sailor. I do not, however, do it around my kids or other kids. The ballpark, especially the minor league ones are supposed to be family friendly. I don’t want to take my kids and have them hear a bunch of idiots cursing out the ballplayers.
• Random quote I can’t believe I overheard: This was coming from another one of the “fans” sitting behind us, talking to a friend, “We like coming to these games because there are more points scored in the minor leagues. It’s like Little League. The worse the players are, the more points are scored.” Uh…what?

All the complaining aside, minor league baseball really is a great game to watch.  You can actually see players busting their tails on every play, because they want to make it to the next level.  Guys run out every play, because they know anything can happen.  They aren’t jogging down to 1B on a pop-fly, because they know if the OF drops the ball, they can get an extra base if they hustle.  It’s refreshing after watching some of the overpaid MLB players lollygag down to 1B on a slow roller up the line, even though they might have beat it out.  And for the price of admission ($7 – even cheaper than a movie now), you can’t beat it.  Now that Anna and Ryan are starting to watch more baseball with me on TV (Ryan even gets upset at the end of the inning when the commercials come on) I definitely plan to take them to more games this summer.

Just not on Thursdays.

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The Microwave - Braves/Phils Opening Night

Pregame: Philly gets to celebrate its defending World Series champs while I wonder what Chan Ho Park has to do with any of it. Joe Morgan looks the same as he did in 1990, so says Jon Miller. Good to know the Apollo Creed mustache is still going strong 20 years later. Steve Phillips joins the broadcast this season, as apparently ESPN needed to fill its skirt chasing quota. If it were any other duo, this move would probably be subtraction by addition, but since it’s Miller and Morgan, it’s a lateral move at worst. The Phils walk to the field thru the crowd like the NWO or something, while starting pitcher Brett Myers just comes out of the bullpen. My guess is that’s a term of his probation. Speaking of wife beating, Bobby Cox is back for a 613th consecutive season on the bench for Atlanta.


Top 1: Myers gets the start tonight because Cole Hamels is a pussy. Harry Doyle once said that the first at bat of the season would set the stage for the entire year. Kelly Johnson flies out, so apparently nothing’s changed from last year. Larry Jones gets booed and rightfully so, but slaps a 3-2 pitch to left for a single to extend the inning. McCann’s batting cleanup? It’s come to that for the Braves? Wait… never mind. Mac just hit it to the moon, putting it in the second deck in right for a quick 2-0 lead!! Now’s as good time as any to comment on the Braves navy blue unis, which suck, and the all blue batting helmets, which are blah. 116 year old Garret Anderson hits one a mile, but foul, before grounding out.


Bot 1: Time for the Atlanta debut for Derek Lowe – hopefully the Face is long gone. He looks like someone, but I have no idea who. I’ve always liked Lowe and like him with the Braves. Not sure he’s an ace though. Rollins 3-unassisted. Werth has trimmed back the hair and no longer looks like Edge. Joe and Steve talk about the Mets collapse… last year’s edition, not the ones from ’06 and ’07. Morgan praises Braves’ rookie Jordan Schafer, who is likely the next Brave I despise, given his attitude problems in the minors coming up thru the system. Hey, I thought Utley was out thru like June. Utley crushes one deep right, but Frenchy runs it down on the track.


Top 2: Before I can get back to my seat, Frenchy swings at the first pitch (no shock there) and lines it directly into the left field seats!! Holy shit!! It’s 3-0 and the boo birds are out for Myers. Glad to see a title hasn’t changed anything for the moron Philly fans. It appears Frenchy has ditched the evil Frenchy chin strap beard in favor of a light goatee. I like it. Casey Kotchman – the big return in the Teixiera trade – strikes out, and Schafer’s up in his major league debut. I dropped this fool in my fantasy league in favor of Milwaukee’s Mat Gamel, so what does Schafer do? HOMERS TO DEAD CENTER!! Who needs to go to jail for domestic violence when you got 50,000 drunk Philly fans ready to pound your ass? Huge Bronx cheer when Myers gets out of the inning.


Bot 2: Lowe vs. Howard to lead off. $20 says Howard strikes out – and he does!! No worries, he’ll drill a homer off Wickman in the 9th to win the game. I know better. Prized free agent pickup Raul Ibanez grounds out. And hey, let’s check on the WOMEN’S FINAL FOUR!! Speaking of women, Victorino grounds out and that’s a 1-2-3 inning with ease.


Top 3: Myers is back out, so I guess he hasn’t been drawn and quartered in the streets yet. Yet. And then Escobar DRILLS one to deep left center and the fans are booing even before it stays in the park for a double. LOVE the Phils fan who’s already so cynical about the season that he’s arguing that he touched the ball and that it should be a home run. IT’S SIX OUTS INTO THE SEASON!! Phillips rambles about all the pitches Larry can hit, to which Morgan counters with a 22 second rant about “fastball in” being the only one he can’t hit. Larry proves Morgan wrong by whiffing at a breaking ball instead. Mac fouls out, and Anderson grounds out to strand Escobar.


Bot 3: Happy peter leads off the 3rd and flies out harmlessly to shallow center. Is it just me or is Miller balder this year than last? Frenchy muffs a foul ball in right while Joe calls him “Fran-CHUR.” Ya gotta think that Ruiz gets on given the free out, and of course he does, ripping one inside the 3rd base line. More fan interference this time, and it’s a double. Myers works the count and grounds out on the first pitch. Ya gotta love PAUL MAHOLM getting an opening day start in the big leagues. Nothing says “we’re committed to winning” like putting Paul Maholm on the hill for opening day, and not due to an injury. Way to go, Pittsburgh. Rollins does NOTHING and that’s that.


Top 4: It’s refreshing to see Citizens Bank Park when there’s not a monsoon over it. Frenchy leads off the inning and TAKES FIVE PITCHES IN A ROW! He celebrates this watershed moment by lining out to Rollins. The crew praises Frenchy for adjusting his stance this year, going to an open stance (not entirely Terry Pendleton style, but getting there) which I approve of. An underrated detrimental effect of trading Teixiera: not as much cup adjustment between pitches this season. I miss that already. With that second inning bomb, Schafer joins Elijah Dukes in the “Baseball Players to be in Jail Someday” club. Check that, in the “MLB’ers Who Homered in their First AB” club. Schafer gets on anyway, but Lowe flies out to end the inning.


Bot 4: Schafer looks like a complete tool with his unshaped cap. Why don’t ya just turn it sideways and wear it like B.J. Upton? Larry with a lazy one hop throw that beats Werth at first. Breaking News!! Louisville beats Oklahoma!! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF ESPN! Kotchman with a good diving stop and gets Utley. Howard grounds out, apparently having left his talent at Dick’s Sporting Goods.


Top 5: Philly pitching coach says Myers is fine. Sure, he’s only been rocked for three homers and had a half dozen other balls smoked, but he’s fine. So what happens then? Larry crushes one for a groundrule double. Joe says Chipper is “picking up where he left off,” which is code for “will be on the DL within two weeks.” As I’m losing interest in the game, Myers gets out of trouble.


Bot 5: Phillips finally speaks for the first time in two innings, having presumably returned from the bathroom after some bad cheesesteak, and mentions that Cholly says that Victorino isn’t a good bunt guy or a good hit and run guy and that he just wants Victorino to swing the bat. On cue, he strikes out. The game is officially boring at this point, but when it’s your pitcher getting 1-2-3 innings, boring is a good thing.


Top 6: Anderson gets a fluky infield hit off Myers’ glove to lead off. Back to back infield grounders move Anderson to third. “Logan Schafer” comes to the plate, as Jon Miller channels his inner Jim Ross. Seriously, dude homers his first career AB on opening night, singles his next AB, Joe Morgan’s gushing over him, and you can’t get his fucking name right?? Schafer gets on base three straight, this one with an intentional walk to set up Lowe. Lowe, unlike Myers earlier, works the count, but watches strike three go by. “Likely Myers’ last pitch.” Of the night, sure. Unfortunately, not for his career.


Bot 6: They keep talking about the “official” first Sunday Night Baseball of the year coming NEXT week. How isn’t this “official?” It’s not like anyone gives a shit anyway. Greg Dobbs pinch hits for Myers and it’s mentioned that Dobbs also homered in his first MLB at bat. Can you guess who it came off of? I’ll give you three guesses, but you’ll only need one. Joe says Cholly doesn’t manage X’s and O’s, which is too bad, considering Andy Reid could use some help next door. Besides, do you really manage “X’s and O’s” in baseball? Unless you’re Jerry Manuel or Earl Weaver, respectively. Rollins gets on with two outs, but Lowe catches a liner back at him from Werth and that’s that.


Top 7: Two down in a hurry, and Larry’s back to the plate. Morgan talks for FIFTY FOUR SECONDS without coming up for air about talking to Hank Aaron and getting old and learning to hit and repeats himself about 5 times in all. Larry makes like he’s at a Hooters and has a seat.


Bot 7: Middle of the order here in what may be Philly’s last good chance. And Lowe gives me NO material to work with, retiring Utley, Howard, and Ibanez in quick fashion. Man, that Philly 3-4-5 is SCARY… if you’re a Phils fan.


Top 8: I’m officially not paying any attention anymore. Durbin is on to strike out, er, face Frenchy with two outs. And hey, look at that!! No, not that Frenchy struck out, but that he struck out LOOKING! Someone call a press conference. This from the same dude who would swing at a pick off attempt to first base. Despite the result of the at bat, this is promising.


Bot 8: Eight pitches, three outs. Need I say more?


Top 9: Why the hell is Lidge in the game? He retires two quickly and they pinch hit for Lidge as the dramatic horror movie score begins to play from the Atlanta bullpen. Lowe’s given up two hits over eight innings, just threw eight pitches to sit three guys and you’re not letting him finish it? Are you kidding me?? He’s in complete control out there!!


Bot 9: The surgically repaired Mike Gonzalez is on to close things out is this non-save situation. I trust this guy more than any arm that’s been in that bullpen since 2002 John Smoltz – which isn’t exactly saying much. Bruntlett pinch hits to lead off and doubles on the 4th pitch. Oh boy… Rollins with a sac fly to right, and Frenchy can’t gun Bruntlett down at third. Werth singles to left to break up the shutout as I’m ready to start throwing things in a minute. Peter Moylan and AA’s Favorite Relief Pitcher are warming up in the pen, which is the equivalent of choosing between Solly and Moose to pinch run for Sid Bream. Utley walks on five pitches and Howard steps in as the tying run. Jesus Christ… Maybe he’ll go 6-5-3 on the shift. Smart money says he ties the game here. But I am happily wrong! Carlos Howard looks at strike three and we got two down! Philly’s last chance rides on star free agent all-star future hall of famer acquisition Ibanez. Philly might as well pack it in. Ibanez works it full… but STRIKES OUT SWINGING! The Braves sweat out a 4-1 victory on opening night, yet I have NO IDEA why Lowe didn’t close it out.


No witty post game from me considering I didn’t finish watching the game til Thursday and I have no interest in listening to Morgan and Phillips talk about nothing.

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Sollywood - It Putz The Lotion In The Basket… Or Else It Misses The Playoffs Again

First off, props to Omar for taking a big step toward improving the bullpen. Coming off 29 blown saves, adding K-Rod and Putz will do wonders for that abortion known as a bullpen, to the point where I think the Mets now have the best 1-2 punch in the 8th and 9th innings. As much as I love the bullpen facelift, I still think something’s missing. I’m always of the opinion that you can never have enough offense and there are still question marks in that Met lineup. The core, namely Reyes, Wright, and Beltran, is fine but outside of that, I have no idea what to expect. Can Delgado repeat his 2008 season of 38-115? Sure he’s in a walk year but he’ll be 37 next June and outside of flaxseed oil, I don’t see him getting better. The outfield is even more puzzling. Beltran is far and away the best CF in the game but the corner positions scare me to death. I have no idea which Church is going to show up, the one who had a solid 1st half or the one who resembled Zombie Benoit from July to September. The Mets got a solid season from Tatis, .291-11-47 and a ton of key hits, but the idea of him platooning with Daniel Murphy doesn’t exactly get me moist, especially with Church as the great unknown in RF. I know the Wilpons lost a huge amount of money recently but there are two corner outfielders still on the market who would make one hell of a difference in that lineup and take the pressure off guys like Wright and Beltran. Both make too much sense for the Mets NOT to sign. One is obviously Manny: imagine him hitting between Wright and Delgado. I don’t care about his aloofness. The guy is the best right-handed hitter of our generation, maybe since WWII. Let him fuck around all he wants, I say he’s worth at least a two-year deal with an option for a third. The other option is Adam Dunn and I might even want him more than Manny just because he’ll be cheaper and he can play 1B next year when Delgado goes.


It seems like both options are out of the question as Omar is just looking to sign another starter but it wouldn’t hurt to at least kick the tires on Manny or Dunn. Pitching is great but you’re never going to win a game 0-1.

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