From the Porch: Perfect Game

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Giants 10, Astros 0 at AT&T Park

HOU (26-36) 000 000 000  0 0 0 !!!!!!!!!!!!
SF (36-27) 232 120 00x  10 15 0

WP: Cain (8-2)
LP: Happ (4-7)
SV: Ha! None
HR: Cabrera (5), Belt (2), Blanco (4)

Cain: 9ip 0h 0er 0bb 14k 2.18 era
Happ: 3.1ip 11h 8er 1bb 5k 5.338 era

In the NL West: Dodgers lost to Angels, Arizona lost to Texas, Colorado lost to Oakland, San Diego beat Seattle. Giants 3.5 back.

Comments: Jesus Holy Effin' Christ, Matt Cain just threw a perfect game, the first in the 130-year history of the Giants. But let us review. This was the most dominant perfect game in MLB history by Four Fucking Runs. Perfect games? Christy Matthewson? Nope. Gaylord Perry? Nope. Juan Marichal? Nope. Cy Fucking Young? Hasn't had pefect game for 108 years. Matthew von Steely Eyed Missile Man? Fuckin' A, Cotton. And it was not only the pitching (so many no-hitters and, it seems, perfect games are like 1-0 or 2-0; Giants put together a perfect pitching game and a perfect offensive game. There has never been a game this dominant, ever. The last out was made by Joaquin Arias on a tough play, and due to a brilliant move by Bruce Bochy to substitute him for Panda in the 7th. And in one of the great, great, great, great plays of all time, Gregor Blanco in the 7th made an impossible, diving, Triples Alley catch -- perfect games and no hitters always crazy catch, but never, ever, ever, ever anything like that. And Melky also made a ridiculous play in the sixth that should have been the play of the game sans Blanco. Cain is simply a massive presence, a monstah, a Force of Nature. He's a wrecking machine, he'll knock you to tomorrow. Y'know, the thing about Cain, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes after ya, he doesn't seem to be livin' until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white, and then -- aww, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin'

Baseball quote of the day: "I'm your new catcher and you just got lesson number one: don't think, it can only hurt the ballclub." (Crash Davis)

Next game: Astros vs. Giants, 12:45 p.m. PDT Thursday, June 14 at AT&T Park. Rodriguez, LHP (5-4, 3.27) vs. Zito, LHP (5-3, 3.24). TV: CSN-BA

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2Hot's Slammiversary X Recap

Slamiversary 2012 Recap

Slamiversary is filmed in an actual arena and it’s LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!!

Hey Fuckers!

It’s the network’s only TNA fan here with YOUR Slamiversary RECAP!!, Now cue MY Music!


-Hulk Hogan spends 20 minutes getting to the ring to let us know that this is a celebration!  He tells us that the next 10 years of TNA are going to be twice as awesome bruther!  He lets us know that he’s been around the block a few times if you know what he means (Writers Note: He means Syphilis).  He decides that this show that doesn’t need any feuds or storylines so he figures that the show should start with an X-Division Title match between Triple A Austin Aries and Evil Foreigner, Samoan Joe.


-Well, the boss has spoken so BRING ON THE SPOT MONKEYS.  Triple A Austin Aries takes on Samoan Joe while a guy wearing a Daniel Bryan shirt sits in the audience pretty much dead center in the camera shot.  That’s some great branding, WWE.  Taz lets us know that as an undersized wrestler, Austin Aries has to wrestle like he’s 6’9 and 350 lbs at all times.  You know, like Kane.  This is pretty much the opposite of how Aries wrestles thank goodness and he actually controls the early action in this one.  It’s not long before Joe takes over however as Aries attempts a suicide dive through the ropes and Joe round kicks him back halfway across the ring.  This match was full of innovative offense.  At one point, Aries gets caught in to a Rear Naked Choke, and rolled it over in to a pin fall attempt.  Lots of sick and stiff action in this one.  The ending came when Aries actually hit a brainbuster on the much bigger man.  This match was actually honestly without a doubt amazing.  When the year-end lists come out, this match better be on it or someone is lying to you.  If you didn’t see it, find it.  Fuck it was good.  Champ retains.  15 huge stars.  It was so great to see Samoan Joe caring about what he’s doing again.  And, well, Austin Aries is just the best.  No doubt.


-Taz and Tenay have a discussion at ringside about who the hall of fame inductee is going to be.  Tenay says that no one will tell him because if they did, he’d just blurt it out on the air due to his medical condition.


-In the ring, OMG TAZ, what’s Kid Kash doing in the Slamiversary Zone?!?  Having a match with Hernandez apparently for no goddamned reason.  Obviously you follow up a match of the year candidate with two people who’ve not been on tv in forever that nobody in the audience gives a crap about and then try to have them have the same match we just saw.  This is so smart TNA.  How are you not beating the other guys in the ratings?  I just don’t understand it.  This match is your textbook Austin Aries vs Samoa Joe match except shitty.  It was fun to see one half of LAX take off and do a plancha over the top rope and land halfway up the entrance ramp.  That was fun for sure.  I thought maybe the rationale behind having this match was to build up Kash to take Aries X division title so that he can go on to fight the main event guys but then just as I was thinking that, Hernandez hit a top-rope splash and got the pin.  Aries/Joe may have been the Match of the Year but this was probably the match of the night.  5 stars for surprise (I guess...) returns.


-Up next we have the tag match between the Jerky Shore and RBD & New Bishoff.  I’m going to just go ahead and pretend this match didn’t happen.   Tho having said that, it will probably end up being the match of the night.  5 absentee stars.


-Backstage Jeremy Borash is here to interview the KK, who let us know that they are the World Tag Team Champions of the World.  And according to Kris, this is not redundant because the two are two planets worth of great and this segment is two segments worth of great as well!


-In the ring, it’s the 3-way (not the good kind) Match to determine the new number one contender for iMPACT this Thursday.  In case you’ve forgotten, this match is between Mr Kenderson, Ed Hardy, and Bob Van Damn.  This match was everything you could have wanted from three proven superstars.  Lots of high spots and very little storytelling to clutter up the action.  Everyone splats each other with big moves for about half an hour when Mr Kenderson finally hits a Mic Check on BVD and gets the pin.  So Mr Kenderson is your new number one contender and you have your new match of the night!  5 stars for letting the sober one go over.


-It’s Open Challenge Time!  In the ring, The Undefeated Crimson has been undefeated for 470 days and he’s pretty convinced that no one can beat him. He does the right thing and lets the audience know what a bunch of fat losers they are before letting them know that he is going to wait for someone to show up and challenge him.  After about two hours of waiting, James Storm finally shows up to answer the call.  So yay, it’s a Crimson vs James Storm match and I’m just happy it wasn’t Gunner.  The two actually match up pretty well and the fight was pretty good.  Ending came when Crimson got sweetchinmusicked and ate a pin fall as well.  Sorry bout your damned streak, Crimson.  You’re now just another midcard jobber.  Until that happend however, this was a really great match.  It was likely the match of the night.  5 Stars for making history.


-Dixie Carter makes her way to the ring and thankfully she is going to talk to us.  She plays kiss-ass with the fans for a half hour before bringing out the entire TNA Roster on to the stage.  Look at all the guys!!  She has decided to take this moment to introduce the first inductee in to the TNA hall of fame and OMG IT’S STING ICANTBELIEVEIT!!!!!!!!!  The crowd actually gets a Yes chant going.  It seems like it might be Stings night.  This worries me...


-I’m not sure anything can make me stop worrying about the possibilities but the Knockouts are going to try.  It’s Knockouts Time!  This time it is a title match between Gail Kim and Big Brooke Tessmacher. B-Tizzle got the shot after not being the shittiest face in a 4-way match on iMPACT.  If i’m not mistaken, I swear I just heard Taz say “We’ve seen that spunk, all over Tessmacher.”  You’re the best, Taz.  There was lots of back and forth action in this one with no clear advantage for either combatant.  The ending comes when Gail tried to get sneaky and hit Brooker T’s own finisher on her when she herself gets ambushed like some sort of ninja and rolled up for the pin.  We have a NEW KNOCKOUTS CHAMPION!  This was by far the Knockouts match of the night.  5 blown stars.


-Back Stage, Every Segment Whatshisname from somewhere wants to make sure we know who he is and he is from.  He also wants us to know that this contract he holds makes his match with Renown Chicago Lawyer Joseph Park an Anything Goes match with a No Liability Clause.


-It’s time to witness the best storyline going today!! Bully Ray takes on Joseph Park.  Bully offers Park the first shot because he’s such a nice guy.  Eventually Bully gets as tired of the games as we do and starts laying a beating on Park.  Once in a while, Park gets a short flurry of offense but it’s all Bully otherwise.  At one point, Park gets knocked out of the ring and for some incomprehensible reason, rolls under the ring.  5 minutes later and by that I mean suddenly, Chris Youknowabyss appears from under a different part of the ring. He hops in to the ring and Blackholeslams Bully through a table!!!  After that, he goes back in to the um, abyss?  Five minutes later, Park re-emerges from under the ring, sees that Bully Ray is out cold, and covers him for the pin.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t know how Park couldn’t have seen Abyss under the ring. It’s the damndest thing ever.  That surprise easily made the best storyline going today deliver the match of the night.  Five surprise stars.


-Backstage Jeremy Borash is backstage to interview Ravishing Bobby Roode, and he’s here to tell all you fat, ugly, sweathogs to shut your mouths and watch how a real man cuts a pre ppv main event promo.  He lets us know that the only thing that anyone should be celebrating is him.  He’s right by the way.  He is the only thing holding this dog and pony show together.  He promises to end Sting’s career tonight and I hope he is right.


-On the entrance ramp, Hulk Hogan is back and he decides to bring out OMG CHRISTIAN CAGE!!!!!!!! Cage no-sells a “Welcome Back” chant until it turns in to a “Please come back” chant.  He’s here to present the number one moment in TNA history video package.  Since he’s no longer in the ring when we get back, I guess I can go back to pretending he was never here because it hurts my heart less.


-Its TAG MATCH TIME!  The KK take on Kurt Angle and AJ Styles in a Scarlett Letter match.  The caliber of the talent in this match makes this one a no brainer, which is what TNA thinks too as they sold this PPV on the back of such shitty storytelling.  Lots of back and forth action in this one.  Textbook tag psychology with the heels cutting the ring in half and making frequent tags.  There were lots of sick spots in this one and the ending came when Kurt reversed a Kaz finishing attempt in to an Ankle Lock and got the tap.  It was at this point that we found out it was a title match because we have NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!  I know they aren’t even a tag team but they’re the NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!  Super exciting stuff in this match!  Probably the match of the night.  5 Stars for NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!


-Are you ready for the main event?  Good god I sure am.  But first we have to sit through some music montage that lasts literally 4 days.


-But finally, IT’S MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE MATCH TIME!!!  THIS IS STING takes on Ravishing Bobby Roode, who actually wears a very Rick Rude esque robe to the ring.  Nice touch there.  There was lots of fast paced action to start, with, as you’d expect, Roode selling enough for both wrestlers.  Apparently this match was no count out because the action soon left the ring as the two battled all around the slightly bigger iMPACT zone.  At one point, Sting locks in a Scorpion Death um... lock on the announce table and the champ taps but it doesn’t matter because it’s not in the ring.  As the two make their way back to the ring, Roode finds Ed Hardy’s stash and sneaks a bottle in to the ring.  He cold-cocks Sting with it while the ref is distracted doe no particular reason and gets the pin.  Thank friggen Christ!  Champ retains!  They can do whatever else they want to me but if they had put Sting over in this match, Monday Night Flaw would have had to find a new TNA recapper.  This was easily the match of the night.  It had the big match feel as much as a TNA match can with no build up. 5 Stars for finally making sense.


Anyway...

That happened.  And it was still probably shorter than Stu’s letter...

 

You can follow me on Twitter at @2hot2k, or send your questions or comments to 2hot@flawedcast.net

See you next week!!

 

Your Pal

2HoT

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From the Porch: Power Surge

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Giants 6, Astros 3 at AT&T Park

HOU (26-35) 001 000 011  3 7 1
SF (35-27) 001 200 12x  6 9 1

WP: Bumgarner (8-4)
LP: Norris (5-4)
SV: Casilla (17)
HR: Bumgarner (1), Belt (1)

Norris: 3.1ip 3h 3er 3bb 5k 4.81 era
Bumgarner: 7.2ip 6h 1er 0bb 12k 3.08 era

In the NL West: Arizona lost to Texas, Colorado lost to Oakland, San Diego beat Seattle and Dodgers beat Angels. Giants 4.5 back.

Comments: Irish Heritage Night, with Rory McIlroy throwing out the first pitch. For the Giants, tonight's game was a power surge, with pitcher Madison Bumgarner and 1B Brandon Belt hitting homers, only the seventh and eighth SF homers at AT&T this year. Also broke an amazing 16-game homerless streak. Bumgarner was the uber-star of the game, also striking out 12 with no walks. He's now 13-2 with a 1.99 ERA in his last fifteen home starts. Awesome.

Bullpen: Kinda weird, as Romo took the ball with two outs in the eighth, then Hensley, Lopez and Casilla -- Hensley was in there for a few moments, but it was two pitches, four pitches and two pitches for the other three; guess they'll be available tomorrow.

Offense: Besides the homers, Brandon Crawford and Melky Cabrera, back in the lineup after a series off, had two hits each. One of those cool runs in the seventh for this edition of the Giants, as Gregor Blanco walked, stole second and advanced to third on a throwing error, then scored on a Melky single. He up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T. Speed kills, absolute speed kills absolutely.

D: Another error (11) for Crawford; Panda was better. That's 57 errors, tied for worst in the majors.

Baseball quote of the day: "I reckon I tried everything on the old apple, but salt and pepper and chocolate sauce topping." (Gaylord Perry)

Next game: Astros vs. Giants, 7:15 p.m. PDT Wednesday, June 13 at AT&T Park. Happ, LHP (4-6, 4.54) vs. Cain, RHP (7-2, 2.41). TV: CSN-BA

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2Hot's TNA Impact Recap - June 7, 2012

iMPACT Recap June 7th , 2012

iMPACT is LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!!

Hey Fuckers!

It’s the network’s only TNA fan here with YOUR iMPACT RECAP!!, Now cue MY Music!

-Remember how last week Kaz and Kris played a phone call on the air between Dixie Carter and AJ Styles that made Dixie lose her mind and start tearing up the production truck?  Well unfortunately TNA does because we get a recap of that segment and then find out that no one knows who actually played the call over the air.  I guess they just play everything they’re handed without questioning it or previewing it.  That’s information that might come in handy later...  Meanwhile, Dixie Carter is out in the ring and the fans are cheering and chanting her name because I suppose in Florida, that’s how you treat a Jezebel. She is about to let us know the whole story when Kris, realizing how terrible she is on the mic, decides to come out and tell the story for her.  When he decides to get a bit rough with the lady, her Knight in shining tights comes to her aid and chases off the bad guys.  Finally, Dixie’s husband “Serge” decides to come out and open hand slap AJ in to next week.  I wish I could express to you just how riveting and engaging this segment was.  I could not look away.


-The show went to commercial and when we returned, they were gracious enough to spend 10 minutes recapping the initial segment.  It was like the icing on a delicious storyline cake.


-Tonight!!  We get a main event 6-man tag match as AJ, Kurt Angle and THIS IS STING, take on Kris, Kaz, and Ravishing Bobby Roode.  Good grief!  I can barely contain my excitement!


-In the ring, it’s the undefeated Crimson takes on X-Division champion Triple A Austin Aries in a “There’s no way we’re going to let Crimson lose the 16 month streak on free tv” non title match.  This is your textbook Ray Mysterio vs Randy Orton match, except good. Lots of intense action in this one. Each combatant managed to counter the other’s finisher.  Aries gives a very respectable showing against the much bigger man.  He had the match in hand when Evil Foreigner Samoan Joe came out to interfere costing him the victory.  Crimson wins, the streak is retained.  Samoan Joe is a heel again I suppose?  And we have our match of the night!  5 stars for everything but the ending.


-After the match, since wrestlers always cut better promos when they’re out of breath after their matches, Crimson decides to remind us that he is still undefeated.  He also brings up the fact that his streak is longer than Goldberg’s.  He fails to mention that this is only because someone was actually writing Goldberg’s storyline and Crimson is regularly forgotten completely for months at a time but I digress...  He decides that since he doesn’t actually have a feud right now, he’ll issue an Open Challenge for Slamiversary.  Outstanding!


-Back stage, Hulk Hogan is wandering through the hallways, babbling incoherently and talking to Brooke even though she is nowhere to be seen.  *Cough* dementia *cough*


-Backstage, the She-Hulk Brooke Hogan wanders in to a room full of hookers.  Oh wait, those aren’t hookers, they’re all the faces in the Knockouts division.  She tells them how pretty they all are in their makeup and girly things that she doesn’t really understand and then lets tells them something that Mike “The Spoiler” Tenay already mentioned during the last match. That is, that all four will be facing off in a four-way (the good kind) to decide which will get to face Gail Kim at Slamiversary because yet again, TNA is bucking the trend and deciding that you actually CAN go in to your biggest ppv of the year with no feuds more than two weeks old.  Oh you magnificent, cutting-edge, bastards.  Anyway, the Hulkstress also announces that she’s going to be whoring out the knockouts to whatever media will have them.  First she’s sending Vanilla Sky off after the match to go be in a “Montgomery Gentry” video.  I’m not really sure what those guys want with a lady but it’s not my place to judge.


-Back in the zONE, Hulk Hogan is here and he takes 20 minutes to get to the ring because it`s much slower when you have to move the walker in between poses.  Once he gets there, he goes on a rant about a bunch of inside shit that no one cares about, including the fact that tonight is the 10 year anniversary of iMPACT and the party is going on from now till next Thursday, when the World Title will be defended no matter who wins it on Slamiversary.  Uh oh...  Ravishing Bobby Roode has heard enough and he comes out to tell all you fat, ugly sweathogs to shut your mouths and watch how a real man recaps a storyline.  He eventually decides to get a bit rough with the Hulkster when his knight in shining tights comes to his aid.  Roode beats down Sting but Sting is old enough that he doesn`t have to sell anymore and so that goes about as well as you`d expect.


-Backstage, Renown Chicago Lawyer Joseph Park is freaking out because all he wanted to do was find his brother Chris Youknowabyss, and now he’s going to have an actual wrestling match (debatable) at Slamiversary!  And to top that all off, he’s going to have to sign a legally binding contract to the fact, TONIGHT!  Sweet TNA, give us a contract signing segment for a match that isn’t even the main event!  Brilliant!  Where do you come up with this genius??


- Since Slamiversary is but a mere three days away, we get no video package of anyone doing anything.


-The slow pan on Christy Hemme means it’s KNOCKOUTS TIME!  Mickey James, Tara, Vanilla Sky and Big Brooke Tessmacher all face off in a 4-way match to determine the number one contender for Slamiversary.  This match was one miscommunication after another.  It’s what you’d call a blown spotfest.  Gail Kim sneaks out to do commentary and at one point she talks about how fast she is compared to theses ladies.  I kid you not, she actually said she’s fast like a ninja.  In the ring the four narrowly avoid Ioning each other when Brooker T hits the Blown Splat on Mickey James and gets the three count.  So I guess we get to see B-Tizzle take on Gail Kim at Slamiversary in three days! This was by far the match of the night.  5 stars for no one slipping a nip or a disk.


-In the ring, we see a podium, so I guess we get to see the contract signing in the best storyline going today.  Both players made their way to the ring and said exactly what they’ve been saying for the last 17 months.  They were about to sign the contract when OMG ABYSS IS ON THE SCREEN!!!!  He let Joseph know that he doesn’t need his help and that at Slamiversary, both Joseph AND Bully are going to find out what the hell he is babbling about.  Maybe it’s just me but this just seems convoluted and lame and too much like a gimmick, man...


-Backstage, we find out that Garret Bishoff and Devon are going to take on the Robbies at Slamiversary.  Also, Devon and Robbie E have a TV Title match tonight and if you want to see how it went, go back and listen to the last 8 iMPACT recaps on Monday Night Flaw or read them at PUNSHOUSE.COM because I’m sure it’s going to be so good I can’t even bear to watch it.  Match of the night!  5 presumed stars!


-Since there’s only about 10 minutes left in the show and there are three main eventers who still don’t have feuds or storylines, Hulk Hogan comes out and says LOOK AT ALL THE GUYS who have nothing to do at Slamiversary!  He decides to make a 3-way (not the good kind) number one contenders match for a shot at the World Title.  Bob Van Damn, Ed Hardy, and Mr Kenderson will all do battle at the PPV and the right gay guy will get his title shot against the champ, next Thursday on iMPACT!


-Finally... It’s 6-MAN MAIN EVENT PRE PPV MATCH TIME!!  Uhoh what’s this?  AJ no sells his entrance music?  He must have taken a page out of Sting’s playbook. I guess it’s a 3 on two match but it doesn’t really matter because Sting is invincible on free TV.  In spite of this, the heels manage to keep Sting in the ring for most of the match.  Counting on him getting tired because they’ve kept him up past his bedtime.  Pro tip for Sting: the “Face-in-peril” shtick only works when you sell something.  Just when you think all hope is lost, AJ finally makes it to the ring and takes everybody out.  The ending comes when Sting locks in the Scorpion Crab on Bobby Roode and taps out the champ for the second week in a row. Unbelievable.  This match was um... Yeah...................


Anyway...


That happened.


You can follow me on Twitter at @2hot2k, or send your questions or comments to 2hot@flawedcast.net


See you soon with your Slamiversary recap!!

 

Your Pal

2HoT

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FTP: Terrible Timmy

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Rangers 5, Giants 0 at AT&T Park; Texas takes series 2-1

TEX (35-26) 001 202 000  5 11 1

SF (34-27) 000 000 000  0 3 0

WP: Ross (6-0)

LP: Lincecum (2-7)

SV: None

HR: None

Ogando: 3ip 0h 0er 0bb 2k 2.08 era

Lincecum: 5.2ip 9h 5er 4bb 5k 6.00 era

In the NL West: San Diego lost to Milwaukee, Colorado lost to Angels, Arizona beat Oakland and LA beat Seattle. Giants fall to 5 back.

Comments: It's sorta cut-and-paste when Lincecum pitches; he's awful, Giants lose every time out (well, they've won two of his 13 starts). And all the quotes are exactly the same -- he's almost there, just a little off, just left a pitch up. No, no, no, out of the windup he shows flashes of his old self but out of the stretch he's one of the most vulnerable pitchers in either league; coaches and teammates all think he'll figure it out and perhaps they're right, but if it doesn't happen quickly, things will get really ugly. I think poor Righetti and Bochy and Buster have tried everything they can think of to stop this disaster. And it just gets worse. There are now some fifty-eight nuclear submarines headed at high speed into the Atlantic. This afternoon's satellite pass over Poliarni found heat plumes in the engineering plants of the Kirov, the Minsk and more than twenty other cruisers and destroyers indicating they were preparing to sail. This constitutes the bulk of the Soviet surface fleet.

Only thing more annoying that Timmy today was Fat Panda's defense at third base today compared to Arias the last few weeks. At least four plays that I think Arias would have made even though they weren't ruled as errors. Gadfry, slow, clumsy, rusty, gloveless; it's not funny anymore.

Baseball quote of the day: "Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before." (Casey Stengel)

Next game: Astros vs. Giants, 7:15 p.m. PDT Tuesday, June 12 10 at AT&T Park. Norris, RHP (5-3, 4.65) vs. Bumgarner, LHP (7-4, 3.26). TV: CSN-BA

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From the Porch: Vogie

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Giants 5, Rangers 2 at AT&T Park

TEX (34-26) 000 000 011  2 5 3

SF (34-26) 001 011 20x  5 10 0

WP: Vogelsong (5-2)

LP: Feldman (0-5)

SV: Casilla (16)

HR: Moreland (9), Napoli (11)

Feldman: 5.1ip 4h 2er 1bb 7k 6.39 era

Vogelsong: 7.2ip 3h 1er 3bb 3k 2.26 era

In the NL West: Dodgers-Seattle just under way; Oakland-Arizona tonight; Angels beat the holy hell out of Rockies. Gianta 3 1/2 behind for now.

Comments: Ummmmm, good pitching beats good hitting most of the time.

Injury news: The horrific Edlefsen back to AAA where he maybe belongs; some bloke called up. His name escapes me. Jimbo von Crammy Poo, or something like that. George Kontos? Is that it? Jesus Christ. Never heard of him. Oh wait, I looked it up on this Internet thing; Kontos came from the Yankees in the trade for Chris Stewart (who is getting a lot of playing time in the bigs, by the way, good for him).

Baseball quote of the day: "Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed upon the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." (Bob Felller)

Next game: Rangers vs. Giants, 1:05 p.m. PDT Sunday, June 10 at AT&T Park. Ogando (1-0, 2.27) vs. Lincecum (2-6, 5.83). TV: CSN-BA

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From the Porch: Zounds

Friday, June 8, 2012

Rangers 5, Giants 0 at AT&T Park

TEX (34-25) 100 111 001  5 14 0

SF (33-26) 000 000 000  0 5 1

WP: Harrison (8-3)

LP: Zito (5-3)

SV: None

HR: Kinsler (7), Hamilton (22)

Harrison: 9ip 5h 0er 0bb 4k 3.87 era

Zito: 6ip 9h 4er 2bb 2k 3.24 era

In the NL West: Dodgers lost to Mariners, Padres lost to Brewers, Arizona beat Oakland. Giants still 4 games behind LA.

Comments: The millions of readers who follow this blog know that I've been worried in the past week about the titanic struggles the Giants have had against Truly Terrible teams, like 20 games under .500 teams, like the Padres and Cubs. What might happen when they play an actual competent team? Well, there you have it. For all intents and purposes Texas threw a no-hitter at San Francisco; absolutely nothing ever got going and Zito was almost immediately behind. Rangers answered another question -- it's not that home runs are impossible at AT&T, it's that homers are impossible for the home team. Kinsler and Hamilton had no problem at all, durn it. Hamilton has 22, Giants as a team have 35.

Injury news: Melky Cabrera was out and remains out with a dodgy hamstring; Pablo Sandoval activated and will be lineup Saturday; Brett Pill optioned to Fresno, which is likely good news because he can get some ABs. Giants often treat young players like him pathetically; leaving them to rot on the bench and lose whatever rhythm they might have had.

Baseball quote of the day: "I like radio better than television because if you make a mistake on radio, they don't know. You can make up anything on the radio." (Phil Rizzuto)

Next game: Rangers vs. Giants, 1:05 p.m. PDT Saturday, June 9 at AT&T Park. Feldman (0-4, 7.01) vs. Vogelsong (4-2, 2.38). TV: CSN-BA

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From the Porch: Petstomp

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Giants 8, Padres 3 at Petco Park. Giants win series 2-1.

SF (33-25) 211 000 211  8 15 4

SD (19-38) 003 000 000  3  9 1

WP: Cain (7-2)

LP: Marquis (2-5)

SV: Casilla (15)

HR: Posey (7), Pagan (5), Blanco (3).

Cain: 7ip 7h 0er 1bb 9k 2.41 era

Marquis: 6ip 9h 2er 1bb 6k 7.65 era

In the NL West:  Damn, damn, damn, Dodgers hang a four-game sweep on the Phillies at Philly? What in the holy hell? Anyway, end result is the Giants are playing outstanding baseball and seem to have no chance of getting close to the damn Dodgers. Probably the other NL West teams played, or maybe not. I don't see any scores there. Giants 4 back.

Comments: Now that's the way you treat a team 20 games under .500, kick the holy hell out of 'em. 4-0 lead blown away with a ridiculous four-error performance by the D, which likely puts the Giants back at the bottom of the league in error again after outstanding D the last 12 games. Oddly enough, the very first out of the game was a monstah play by Brandon Crawford, and then the wheels seemed to come off, taxing a typically outstanding pitching start by Mattie Cain. On offense, Ryan The Riot continues to be ridiculously hot, as does Buster Posey -- threatening to start All-Star Game. Enter your 25 votes on MLB.com!

Baseball quote of the day: "I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did." (Yogi Berra)

Next game: Giants vs. Ranger, Interleague, 7:15 p.m. PDT Friday, June 8 at AT&T Park. Matt Harrison (7-3, 4.37) vs. Barry Zito (5-2, 2.98). TV: S**tty, crappy, low-def POS Comcast 191 in Central Valley, NBC Whatever in Bay Area, nothing at all in civilized areas, TV Look What Ogg Do in Neanderthal areas.

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