Sollywood - Go Fuck Yourself, Hollywood Part II Again Two

Hollywood, I totally understand you're in the business of making money. I get that, really.  But for the love of fuck, STOP MAKING UNNECESSARY SEQUELS.


Obviously everything can't be "The Godfather, Part II" but who exactly was clamoring for sequels to "Midnight Run" and "Twins"?


If you haven't seen "Midnight Run", I highly suggest you bump it to the top of your viewing queue. Ask this blogger if you want more proof. Or this one. A fantastic movie with a great ending and absolutely NO need to make a sequel some 25 years later, especially with Brett Ratner at the helm. De Niro's attached to it but what about Charles Grodin? If you absolutely positively have to continue the story of Walsh and The Duke, bring EVERYBODY back. And I mean everybody from director Martin Brest to actors like Dennis Farina, Joe Pantoliano, Yaphet Kotto, and John Ashton. Do it right or don't do it at all.


I liked "Twins" when it came out. It is what it is. A one-joke comedy that showed off Ah-nuld's (limited) comedy chops. Now there's word that "Twins" will become "Triplets", with Eddie Murphy being the long-lost triplet.


EEES FUNNY BECAUSE HE EES BLACK, YES?


Look, I'm not against the idea of a sequel to a successful movie. The first three Indiana Jones movies are timeless, as is the original Star Wars trilogy. They advanced the story, they developed the characters, they weren't (totally) a cash grab. More recently, the Bourne movies were tremendous and really well-done (not in love with the idea of a Damon-less Bourne but we'll see).


Here's my problem: there were 27 sequels in 2011 alone, with more on the horizon. How about a little originality? Not everything has to be "Inception" but Jesus Christ, do we need six "Fast and Furious" films? Do we need three "Hangover" movies when the only difference is the location?


Here's a partial list of completed or proposed sequels, tell me if any of these NEED to be made.

• Men in Black 3
• GI Joe 2
• Ghostbusters 3 (read my rant here)
• Die Hard 5
• Rambo 5 (OK I'd see this. Fuck off.)
• Get Smart 2
• Indiana Jones 5 (NO FUCKING WAY)
• Mad Max 4
• I, Robot 2
• Austin Powers 4
• Falling Down 2 (WHAT? He died in the first one!)
• Hancock 2 (I almost walked out of the first one)
• Top Gun 2 (Sighs...)
• Beverly Hills Cop 4 (Eddie, just stop already)
• Avatar 2 and 3
• Terminator 5
• Jurassic Park 4

Still reading? Here are some completed or proposed remakes. Again, are these needed?

• Total Recall
• Spiderman (How do you reboot a trilogy that began in 2002?)
• Child's Play
• The Lone Ranger (With Johnny Depp as Tonto. That's more offensive to Native Americans than the Indians logo.)
• Robocop
• Scarface 
• Short Circuit
• Point Break
• WarGames
• Time Bandits (Hi Nate!)
• Commando
• Lethal Weapon

Instead of trying to re-invent the wheel, how about coming up with something original for once?  Sequels are fine but like everything else in life, everything's better in moderation.*






*Except "Rambo 5", which I clearly plan on seeing with a stick of butter in my hand and my pants around my ankles.

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The View From Down Here - Jose and Hanley are BFFs!

For all the talk of the problems that signing Jose Reyes and moving Hanley Ramirez to 3B would cause for the Marlins, there really seem to be no issues, and the Marlins' camp has been pretty uneventful.  In fact in order to show their solidarity (and possibly give a big f-you to their critics) the left side of the infield decided to go ginger.  Rumor has it that Omar Infante and  Emilio Bonifacio are next in line.

If their production on field blossoms the same way their burgeoning friendship has, the Marlins may be sitting atop the NL East at the end of this season.

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Wait 'Til Next Year - Episode 2

In this episode, Solly and Nate discuss Chipper Jones decision to retire after the season, so he can spend more time with his bevy of Hooters waitresses, the joke that is "Opening Day".....in Japan, and the fact that major league relievers have been going down faster than Andy and Chris at the Blue Oyster Bar.  They also read and respond to your emails.


Enjoy!

Editor's Note: It looks like the commercial was inserted into the wrong part of the show. We had it slated for the 38 minute mark, but Aaron put it in a lot sooner. That was my fault. I forgot to tell Aaron when I sent him the file that we had put in a break for the commercial, so he just inserted it anywhere.


Wait Til Next Year - Episode 2

Discuss here!

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Mr. Canada's TNA Impact Recap - March 22, 2012

iMPACT Recap March 22, 2012

iMPACT is filmed before a live studio audience.

Hey Buddays!

It’s Mr Canada here with YOUR iMPACT RECAP!!, Now, it worked for the other guy so cue MY music??

-Maybe you remember a little pay per view called Victory Road.  Well, if you don’t, the show opens with a video package to tell you what went on.  It included Canada’s Shame, Bobby Roode, roughing up Dixie Carter before taking a tip from Red Green and using Duct Tape to secure Sting to the ring ropes for a severe beating.  Thankfully everyone was ok.  Mr Tenay tells us that Dixie Carter is aboot to come out and tell us all aboot what she’s going to do aboot all this.

-Dixie Carter is in the ring and she’s wearing Mr Canada’s favorite colour, Red. She seems really upset eh?  She’s practically crying.  She’s done a lot of thinking. Before she can tell us what she’s going to do, THIS IS STING! And he’s walking out to the ring.  I bet he’s going to add something important to the discussion.  He tells us all that firing is not the answer, revenge is.  Not just revenge, the RIGHT KIND OF REVENGE!  Extra Crispy!!

-I guess Sting is actually finally done being the GM.  I hope this means he wants to become a full time wrestler again.  That would be amazing!  He thinks that he can’t compete at a Bobby Roode level if he’s a part time GM.  Mr Canada isn’t sure he can compete at a Bobby Roode level even as a full time wrestler but Good NEWS!  We’re going to find out because he’s quitting his GM role to lace up the boots full time again!

-Thankfully he’s got the right man for the GM job!  I’m giddy with excitement waiting for him to make the announcement! OMG HULK HOGAN!!  Are you kidding me??!?!?!  Could TNA be in any better hands?  I can’t believe this!  It’s amazing!!

-Tonight on iMPACT, it’s a Title Match EXTRAVAGANZA!  Newly returned tag team Anarquilla and Hernandez are set to take on the Tag Champs Magnus and Samoa Joe in a title match.  Rosita and Sarita are set to try to dethrone ODB and Eric Young for the Knockouts title, and A-Double Austin Aries is set to take on three other X-Division challengers in a Fatal Four Way for the X-division belt.  I hope everyone goes out and gives it their best and no one gets hurt.

-Bully Ray is very angry about being squashed at Victory Road and he plans to take it out on everyone who gets in his way.

-It’s time for our X-Division match! A-Double is facing Zema Ion, Kid Kash and Neece.  Odds are against Aries in this one as the first pin or submission of anyone will win his belt.  This match was very fast paced and full of mistakes, including Neece missing a splash from the top rope by literally a full metre. A-Double hitting a 3 person powerbomb was probably the spot of the match.  I guess these guys got in the way of Bully Ray because he decided they all needed to be destroyed.  No Contest.  Champ retains. Bully reminds us who he is. In case we forgot.

-A segment in the parking lot gets pretty racist eh?  A bunch of Mexicans their car towed while being asked if they know how to spell.  If it was Canada, they’d just have to pay money to get their car out of impound.  America is weird.

Bring on the Knockouts.  In this title match, the champs ODB and Eric Young take on Rosita and Sarita, fresh off their racist trivia challenge.  As he is always the gentleman, Eric Young refused to lock up with the ladies.  ODB was able handily defeat the tiny little Spanish girls all on her own.  She did make EY get the pin though.  She didn’t want him to feel too left out.  So sweet...  Pinfall victory.  Champs retain.

-Backstage Crimson reminds us that Matt Morgan is just out for himself so he’s going to teach the Blueprint a lesson next week on iMPACT.

-A backstage segment has Jeff Hardy leaning against some scaffolding and slurring his way through telling us that Kurt Angle is a big cheaterpants and that he wants Kurt locked in a cage. At Lockdown.  Against him. *hic.  Joseph Park walks by and asks Jeff if he knows where Abyss is.  Jeff says he thought Joseph WAS Abyss.  Park just laughs and tells Jeff to sleep it off.

-A video package reminds us that James Storm and Bobby Roode have had their dogs hitched to this sled called TNA for a long long time.

-James Storm is taking that 90 metre walk to the ring.  He asks if he can be serious for a minute.  Storm decides to wax philosophical about Football and the price of gas.  Then he reminds us not to blame Canada for what happened to Dixie Carter.  He says we should blame Bobby Roode.  He says that he is going to right Bobby’s wrongs at Lockdown in a month from now.  I for one can hardly wait.  Some fella in a suit who doesn’t look anything like Bobby Roode comes out to the ring.  He is a lawyer I guess.  He has the thickest Canadian accent I’ve ever heard and I’ve been to Moose Jaw!  Canada’s Shame has decided that he is going to hide in Canada but that James Storm can fight Christopher Daniels or Frankie Kazarian tonight if he wants.  He decides he’ll fight both.  Then he hits the lawyer with a superkick.

-Kurt Angle is shocked that Jeff Hardy wants a rematch after he won so decisively at Victory Road.  He then runs in to Garret Bishoff and tells him that he wants to see if he can last 3 minutes. That match is COMING UP!

-It’s a 3-Minute Challenge with Kurt Angle and Garret Bishoff.  I don’t want to spoil anything for you so I’ll just say that Garret had a good outburst of offense but made the cardinal mistake of going for the same move twice in a row so Gunner comes out and tries to kill him.  Jeff Hardy stumbles to the ring as well and clears it with his Whiskey Breath.  No Contest.

-Hulk Hogan is going to be here later!!

-World Tag Team Title match is next.  The Mexican Americans take on the champs Magnus and Samoa Joe.  For what it’s worth, the Mexican Americans are former tag champs as well.  Lots of good back and forth action in this one.  At one point, the tow truck driver comes out to the ring to “repo” Rosita and Sarita.  This gives the champs the opening they need to regroup and hit their 5 moves of doom and get the win.  Pinfall Victory.  Champs Retain.

We see a video of James Storm hanging out in a bar where everyone is dressed like cowboys and there is not a woman to be seen...  Just sayin...

-I guess it’s finally main event match time.  This time it’s a handicapped match where Daniels and Kazarian will attempt to best the Cowboy James Storm.  Surprisingly there is no interference in this one from either AJ Styles or Mr Anderson.  The heels have some difficulty staying on the same page in this one and that leads to both getting Last Call Superkicks.  This was a pretty exciting and short match.  Pinfall Victory for James Storm.

Thankfully Sting, Dixie Carter, and Hulk Hogan are all on their way to the ring for more main event TALKING!  Fun Fact: Hulk Hogan never lost a title match to a Canadian.  Hulk is here to make us all believers.  We already believe that he already secretly runs the show anyway so I’m not sure why we wouldn’t believe he could be the GM.  We end up going black before he actually agrees so I guess we’ll all have to tune in NEXT WEEK!!

Anyway...

That happened eh?

You can follow me on Twitter at @2hot2k, or send your questions or comments to 2hot@flawedcast.net  

Wait, what??

See you next week!!

 Your buddy

 MR CANADA!

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ROH Review 03/24/12

I’ll bet you can guess where we are coming from this week……..that’s right, the DU BURNS ARENA!

We open with a recap of the March Mayhem opener between Jay Lethal and Roderick Strong from last week.  Lethal wins after botched interference from Michael Elgin.  Lethal advances to the Final Fourway on April 7.

Jim Cornette is in the ring to hype the Triple Threat match at Showdown in the Sun.  An opening promo?  Shame on you ROH.  Roderick Strong, Michael Elgin and Truth Martini are all out.  Next out is Eddie Edwards, by himself.  I am surprised Adam Cole is not out with him.  And finally, Davey Richards comes out, also alone.  You would think his ass kisser Kyle O’Reily would be out there.  Corny asks them to use some professional decorum.  In pro wrestling.  Oh Jimmy, you scamp.  Richards speaks first, and nearly bores me out of the room.  He doesn’t like Edwards or Strong, and he doesn’t trust them at all.  Eddie takes exception to being compared to a prick like Roddy.  Roddy counters that a poor breakup with his boyfriend Davey is no reason to take it out on him.  Touché Roddy.  Roddy believes Elgin is going to give him his match in case Roddy doesn’t win the title on Friday night.  Elgin is about to say something when Jay Lethal comes out, still sans TV title.  He calls Roddy a……..butt munch.  Way to bring it Jay.  Lethal demands more respect, then calls Roddy a…….fart head.  What the hell Lethal?  Jay is done waiting around for what he deserves, he is going to TAKE what he deserves (and since it is ROH, presumably it will be taken by force).  The wolf howls, and Kevin Steen comes out to save the segment.  Steen busts on Davey’s hat.  Steen is fantastic.  Steen is rooting for Edwards to win the title, not because he likes him, but because he wants to win the title in Florida.  Once he wins the title, he is going to be Cornette’s personal, never ending nightmare, then urges them to continue their circle of jerks in the ring.  The love for Steen just grows week by week.

HYPE! Showdown in the Sun, two nights, sixteen matches!

-WGTT are going to send the Briscoes from the ring on a stretcher.  I am not really buying WGTT as brutal heels

WRESTLING’S GREATEST TAG TEAM vs. CAPRICE COLEMAN & CEDRIC ALEXANDER

-WGTT comment before the match.  They wonder if Corny is still pissed because of what they did to the Briscoes.  Sorry, still not buying them as heels.  Shelton is going to call them the C+C Wrestling Factory.  Ok, that was kind of clever.  And completely over the head of 90% of their audience.

-C+C Wrestling Factory contends that they are not going to be beaten by Sysqo on Steroids and the Ben Stein’s Love Child.  Ouch.

WGTT toy with C+C to start, treating it as a warm up match for the pay per view.  Their tone changes pretty fast when neither Caprice or Cedric don’t roll over for them.  C+C hit dueling dives and Nigel says, “send them back into the ring, you can’t beat them on the outside.”  Well, you CAN beat them by count out, just sayin Nigel.  Coleman and Alexander are a pretty good team, they just seem to be missing something, that “it” thing.  I dunno.  Maybe if they had a team name.  Hey! How about C+C Wrestling Factory!  I mean really, how much would it cost ROH to get the rights to “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)”?  Couple bucks?  I mean, C+C Music Factory should be pretty happy to earn any money at this point.  Cedric (I think) hits a SICK frankensteiner on Haas.  It was sick because Haas was on the top rope, and Cedric leaped up FROM THE MAT and took him off the top turnbuckle.  That may be even more impressive than Kurt Angle scaling the turnbuckle for the belly to belly suplex.  Awesome move.  With the referee distracted, the Briscoes come out and KILL Haas with a chair shot! (somehow Jay Briscoe did not run head first into the chair).  Haas may be dead, and C+C get the win! Gotta say I didn’t expect that.  Haas sells it like he is dead.  He got his arm up, but still, it was a sweet chair shot.

COMMERCIALS!

We come back and Haas is still dead.  Shelton is not happy about things, and he threatens genocide against everyone named Briscoe and anyone who cheers for them.  I’m no lawyer, but I think that would warrant some jail time.

INSIDE RING OF HONOR!

-Final countdown for Showdown in the Sun.  Sixteen matches over two days.

Friday

-Triple Threat World Heavyweight Title Match – Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Roderick Strong

-TV Title Match – Jay Lethal vs. Kyle O’Reily

-Street Fight – Young Bucks vs. All Night Express

-La Revancha! – El Generico vs. Kevin Steen

-WGTT vs. Coleman & Alexander

-Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm.  Storm is serious for a moment and says ROH is not a stepping stone.  Bennett and OMG MARIA IS HOT are color coordinated again, really…..just stop.  He is going to get Storm laid…..no, wait, he is going to lay Storm out.

Saturday

-Blind Destiny Match 1 – Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards

-Blind Destiny Match 2 – Michael Elgin vs. Davey Richards

-Blind Destiny Match 3 – Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong

- World Tag Team Title Match – Briscoes vs. WGTT

-Tornado Match – Young Bucks vs. All Night Express

-Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reily

So that is 12 announced ROH matches, I assume that means there will either be some unannounced matches, or they will have 4 CHIKARA matches.

-The Briscoes come out and comment on their match.  It’s going to be an ass whuppin. 

We come back, and Cornette has joined the broadcast booth.  He promises that he is going to fine the Briscoes for using the chair……..but not tonight.  He is going to wait until Monday…….and do it by phone.

ADAM COLE vs. MICHAEL ELGIN – March Mayhem Match 2

Lethal qualified last week by beating Roderick Strong.  Next week Tomasso Ciampa faces Kyle O’Reilly and Eddie Edwards faces Mike Bennett.  The final four face off in the Final Fourway on March 7

Kyle O’Reily joins the announce crew.  Oh goody.  You know, as boring as he is, I would still rather listen to him than Lawler or Booker.  Kyle doesn’t respect Cole at all and says when he beats Lethal for the TV title, he MIGHT give Cole a shot.  Maybe.  He still believes that Cole’s pin on Davey was a complete fluke.  Elgin KILLS Cole with a German suplex into the turnbuckle.  That is a brutal looking move.  Kelly badgers O’Reilly to tell him what he REALLY thinks of Adam Cole.  Uh, Kevin, he said he doesn’t respect him.  How much more do you want?  Kelly flubs his line a little saying “….oh we have to go to a…..wait a minute! I am being told we have to go to a commercial break!” That made me laugh.  He is usually pretty smooth.  Honestly, as far as announce crews go, I would go Tazz/Tenay, Nigel/Kelly, then a very distant third whatever dreck the WWE throws out there.  Here’s hoping Regal gets an announcer shot soon.  Anyway, back to the match!  Elgin is fucking powerful.  Now, unlike WGTT, I think Kyle O’Reily pulls off a douchebag heel VERY well.  He is very white bread, but he is a good heel.  Elgin tosses Cole around while Kelly continues to badger O’Reily into telling him WHY he doesn’t like Cole and what is going on here.  O’Reilly finally says it wasn’t HIS idea to be partners with Cole in Future Shock, and when he shook Eddie’s hand it was like spitting in his face.  Ok, can we be done with that now?  Cole hits a spring board DDT on the apron that looked like it could have gone VERY wrong.  Cole tries the Florida Key, that’s not happening either.  Cole hits a superkick (a transitional move in ROH, not a finisher, take THAT WWE) and Elgin nearly decapitates him with a clothesline (also not a finisher).  Roderick Strong comes to the ring and tries to interfere and “accidentally” hits Elgin with a kick to the head, Cole rolls Elgin up (sadly, THAT seems to be a ROH finisher) and gets the win.  I wonder if they are going to tease an Elgin face turn here?  Elgin, Truth and Strong beat the snot out of Cole until Eddie makes the save.

Next Wee!

Tomasso Ciampa vs. Kyle O’Reilly and Eddie Edwards vs. Mike Bennett in March Mayhem qualifying matches!

PPV PREDICTIONS!

Man, ROH is kind of tough to predict.  They seem to really dig the long title reigns, but both Lethal and Edwards have held the title for over six months now.  Here we go:

-Triple Threat World Heavyweight Title Match – Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Roderick Strong – Richards retains.  I think they are going to slow build Richards/Elgin, probably holding off until December

-TV Title Match – Jay Lethal vs. Kyle O’Reily – Kyle O’Reily gets the upset win here.  Lethal can move into world title contention

-Street Fight – Young Bucks vs. All Night Express – Bucks steal this one

-La Revancha! – El Generico vs. Kevin Steen – Steen wins, but really, it wouldn’t matter if El Generico won this one

-WGTT vs. Coleman & Alexander – Gotta think WGTT gets their win back here, though I could see this being a no contest when the Briscoes get involved

-Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm – No reason for Bennett not to win here

Saturday

-Blind Destiny Match 1 – Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards – Steen wins

-Blind Destiny Match 2 – Michael Elgin vs. Davey Richards – Richards retains, Roddy will be involved in some form here

-Blind Destiny Match 3 – Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong – Lethal beats him, cementing his push in the world title picture

- World Tag Team Title Match – Briscoes vs. WGTT – Briscoes retain, if the feud is ending here, it makes no real sense for WGTT to win, unless the rumors of the Briscoes going to WWE are true (and I hope they are not)

-Tornado Match – Young Bucks vs. All Night Express – ANE wins this one

-Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reily – This becomes a TV title match and O’Reily cements his heel turn by cheating to win

Be sure to check out www.punshouse.com for more ROH reviews and general chatter.  And if you are into fantasy wrestling, there is no fed better than the OOWF, just go to www.oowrestling.com and check us out in the fantasy thread!  We have been going for over seven years now!

   

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Eternal Sunshine of the Southern Poor Girl

We have a special treat for you guys, today.  We have been graced with a special blog from Courtney Smith, longtime (but currently on a long hiatus) message board member both Pun's House and Online Onslaught.  She was one of only TWO women to make regular contributions to the Pun's House message board, the other being the one and only Firewoman.  Make sure you let her know how much you like it.  We might be lucky enough to have her stick around a little longer.  Courtney's new blog can be found here.

Things to Know if You’re Going to Faithfully Commit Yourself to Me (Yes, You)

1) I’m a 25-year-old single white female from Nashville. Not that this is really important, but if you read something and think to yourself, “Damn, what is this whippersnapper talking about?” or “Damn, she’s doing a music list that is 90% pre-1980!” or “Damn, why does she talk about the south so much?,” you’ll have your answer.

2) I have an unhealthy obsession with music. I know that probably a lot of you do too. And that’s amazing. Most of the things I write about will be music-related. And I’ll always post what song I’m listening to at the time. For instance, Now Playing: Sonic Youth- Poison Arrow. I’m always listening to music especially when I write.

3) I Heart Nashville. When I was growing up, I always told everyone that I would never spend my life in the south. I was going to move away, preferably to New York City. I think that’s where all little girls growing up here dream about moving away to. However, that did not and probably (never say never) will not happen seeing as how I’m in love with my fair city. I’ll do a lot of posts on Nashville and specific things that make this city great. And maybe one of them will have to do with country music. I like to show people the things that aren’t obvious.

4) I moved into a new apartment recently and this is the first time I’ve ever lived by myself. It’s wonderful, terrifying and boring all at once. Wonderful because…well, I‘ll get to that later. Terrifying because paying rent on my own is the single-most headache-inducing thing I’ve ever had to do. And boring because I need people around me or ten projects to do all at once. My mind is usually in hyperactive mode and since I don’t like talking on the phone, I need to be out of the apartment or have something to attack with my glue gun.

5) I just got a dog, in part to alleviate some of the boredom. His name is Riff and he’s 11 weeks old. He is so ridiculously adorable that I am overlooking a lot. But once he’s trained, he’ll be spectacular.

6) I watch a lot of television and movies. I’ll be doing reviews on here and talking about tv…a lot. And considering that in order to pay rent, I haven’t had cable or proper internet for three months now, I need some place to express my absolute loooove for the box in my living room.

7) I can’t cook anything except for lasagna and desserts. There is a reason Garfield is my favorite comic strip character. So you don’t have to worry about me posting tons of recipes except for all these desserts that I have yet to try out in a new book I got called Booze Cakes. Speaking of…

8) I like alcohol. That may not be the classiest thing to write on the internet, but I don’t care. I’m not an alcoholic but I like to think my alcohol knowledge is pretty sound. One of my dreams (on that vague list in my head) is to own a bar one day. This will not happen soon (unless I win the lottery) seeing as I am horrible with money. But still, it’s there. I’m getting off-topic. Anyways, I probably will talk about some of my favorite drinks. And while going on and on about Nashville, you might notice most of my favorite places are within walking distance of a bar. Yay booze!

9) I love feedback. Especially if I’m talking about booze and you have a drink that I’ve never heard of. This also applies to crafts, bands, songs and dessert recipes. If I post something and you’re all, “Oh, I wonder if she knows about this…”, by all means, tell me about it. Tanks. (Not a misprint)

10) I love fashion. Even though I can’t afford it. I peruse fashion blogs like it’s going out of style (see what I did there) and I will talk about any great deals I see because I feel like this is necessary for girls like me. My closet just got a major overhaul and is slowly being built back up with clothes that I actually like instead of cheap, crappy stuff. Notice I didn’t say “instead of stuff from Goodwill.” Because I love that place. It’s like my third favorite place in the world. Especially on the first Saturday of every month.

11) I am a yard sale addict. This time of year is my favorite for many reasons, but mostly because people start doing yard sales. Seriously, it’s like crack. Not that I’ve ever done crack, but you get it. Yes? I will probably post a lot about what I get and find at sales. Because for real, crack.

12) For all you dudes out there, feel free to skip any post containing the words “Dude, Look at This Dude” or “Future Husband” because that’s just me talking about a hot guy. Like Future Husband #1 Ryan Gosling, FH #2 Joseph Gordon-Levitt and FH #3 Andrew Garfield. Yes, I will be married three times and have the most adorable children ever. Deal with it.

13) I go on these little rants (example: #12) where I sound crazy, but really, I’m pretty down-to-earth. Unless you get me talking about something I really love to talk about. Like Future Husbands. Like how Adam Levine’s tattoos make up for the fact that he’s probably a douchebag. Cakes with booze in them. How my favorite place in the world is Grimey’s on 8th Ave South, a mere ten minutes from my house. Things like that.

14) I have guilty pleasures that are considered not cool to talk about. Everyone does. But I will be bold and talk about them and try to convince you to like them. Some of these I know will be fruitless. Like the Jersey Shore post I already have planned. But some of them will take hold with someone and hopefully make a positive change. Wow, I’m kinda making myself sound a lot more important than I am and thinking that hundreds of people will read this instead of maybe 10. Hmm…oh well. Let’s dance and everything will be better.

15) I love to talk about politics and religion. And my opinions are not that of your stereotypical person born in Georgia and raised in Tennessee. I think the political system we have is ridiculous and I’ll feature bonehead politicians on here a lot. Because it needs to be done. I have conservative view points (I mean real conservative points, not this crazy thing Republicans are calling conservatism), especially on fiscal issues, but my social meter swings wildly to the liberal side of things. And since that’s where politicians (both left and right) tend to say the dumbest things, I’ll probably feature most of those.

Alright, that should be enough. Hopefully, y’all will like it and continue reading. Till next time…

Now Playing: Spice Girls- 2 Become 1 (Shh, I said I had guilty pleasures.)

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Flawedcast XXXI: Heart of Stone

Andy and Tyler pebble through the emails, discuss the Teboulder of a trade in the NFL, and sift through the rubble of the Whitney Houston autopsy.

Discuss here!

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The View From Down Here - AHHHHH!!! MY EYES!!!

In our premier episode of "Wait 'Til Next Year" I discussed the Miami Marlins new home run feature and how hideous it was.  As you can see, it's just as awful as I described.

Let's hope there's a small thermal exhaust port on the thing somewhere.

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Wait 'Til Next Year - Episode 1

Well everyone, here it is.  The very first episode of "Wait 'Til Next Year".  As a first show it's....well, it's not good.  Content-wise, I think it's fine, but when you're used to hearing Andy's screaming, the excitement level leaves a bit to be desired.  In fact, if you can't sleep tonight, put our show on.  We're like a bottle of Ambian, just without all the weird hallucinogenic dreams.


I have no doubt it will get better, though.  Hell, even Andy, Tyler, and Chris sucked in their first shows, and we know how those have turned out.  We hope to record every Wednesday, so please feel free to send in your emails to WTNY@punshouse.com.  Thanks for listening!





Wait Til Next Year - Episode 1
 
 Discuss here (we're really opening ourselves up for some ridicule on this one).

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Unamed Firewoman Blog - Rush Limbaugh, The First Amendment, and Women’s Health

Nate told me I could write a blog if I wanted. I said “all I can think of something all political and feminist and stuff.” He said that would be fine, as long as I made it funny.

Well, I’ve been working on this one for a while, and I still can’t make it funny. And I know my audience here are mostly men from Punshouse, so I think I’ll try to show you why these issues are important for you males, not just for one of the few womenfolk you let hang out in your locker room.

If you haven’t heard, a few weeks ago, Congress had hearings on a portion of the health care act that said that insurance companies are required to provide coverage for birth control for women, no matter who the employer. The exception of course is religious institutions that are against birth control, but here’s where the disagreement begins. If I work in the Church’s office, then I am clearly working for a religious institution. But what if I work at the Catholic-affiliated hospital? Or school? Is THAT a religious institution?

The sides have lined up framing the issue as they will. The Republicans are framing it as a religious freedom issue and crying for their First Amendment rights. The Democrats are framing it as a women’s health care issue. So, the stage is set for the hearings, where we find that the only ones called to testify are….men. No women. No women on the committee hearing things either. If you saw the pictures, the absence of women was glaringly obvious even to the least politically-minded friend of mine. There of course were women there to testify. One of them, Sandra Fluke, is a law student at Georgetown. When women were not allowed to testify, they left, and the Democrats held their own hearings. Ms. Fluke testified on behalf of a friend who needed birth control pills not for pregnancy prevention, but because of a painful medical condition.

That is not how Mr. Limbaugh portrayed it, however. For three days, Ms. Fluke was slandered by Mr. Limbaugh, who mischaracterized her testimony, which was not about sexual behavior at all, but serious health issues. He called her names, which is his job, really, but then also suggested that he would want to watch all this sex she was having via the Internet.

Predictably, the media erupted. Calls for Rush’s removal from the air echoed, and advertisers dropped like flies. Such is the way of capitalism in the media. (I have no doubt that many of his advertisers will quietly make their way back once things have died down.)

The political response was intriguing and scary. Predictably, Democrats defended Ms. Fluke, and condemned Mr. Limbaugh. President Obama called Ms. Fluke to see how she was doing. Even twenty-six Republicans sent a message to Speaker of the House Boehner asking him to condemn Mr. Limbaugh’s tirade. For their part, the rest of the Republicans, including Boehner and the presidential candidates called Mr. Limbaugh’s words “inappropriate.”

We know the outcome. Mr. Limbaugh issued an apology that was only slightly less sincere than Komen Foundation’s was. And interest was deflected away from the real issue for a few days.

So what you say? Well a few things disturb me about this and they all center on the First Amendment.

Let’s go in order.

“Congress shall make no law respect an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” The Right is arguing that mandating that affiliated hospitals and schools allow employees to use insurance to pay for birth control is violating that. And let’s be clear. That’s all the law is stating.  It’s not stating that we hand birth control out willy nilly to everyone who asks. It’s not mandating that women be forced to take birth control pills as a condition of employment. It’s not even stating that, as Mr. Limbaugh continued to rant about, taxpayers pay for birth control pills. It is say insurance companies have to cover them as they would any other prescription.

It’s also maintaining the exemption for churches themselves, but hospitals and schools are not religious institutions. They are medical and educational, respectively, and while they may receive some funding and support from their religious affiliates, they also receive it from private donors and government funding as well. (When they start providing medical care and education free, then we can talk).

One could also apply the same logic the other way: Allowing for an exemption actually RESPECTS an establishment of one religion, saying that it is someone special and thus special rules need to be made for that religion.

Both arguments are flawed though. The Amendment is about making a religion the official state religion and making others illegal. This doesn’t do either of those things.

The second relevant part of the First Amendment in this debate, and one that’s getting a little lost, I think, and the more important one is “Congress shall make no law . . . prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech . . . .” Let’s be clear. Congress hasn’t done that. Private individuals and companies withdrawing their support is not a violation of the First Amendment. And Congress hasn’t passed any laws about this issue. But Congress and the President have weighed in on the appropriateness of Mr. Limbaugh’s comments, which does not carry the weight of law at all. Or
does it?

Mr. Limbaugh has the Constitutional right to say what he wants, even if it’s factually wrong, and even if it is civilly liable (civil law being a very different animal). And I have the Constitutional right to say he’s a big douchebag. The President and Congress however, do not get a say in this matter however. To say speech of any kind is inappropriate is the first step toward saying “Hey, we ought to write a law…” I’m not a fan of slippery slope arguments, but when it comes to the Bill of Rights, I’d rather be safe than sorry.

Having determined that this is actually not a Constitutional religious freedom issue, that just leaves one other issue, and it’s one that the Republicans are finding has support from even voters within their own party. At best this is a miscalculation. At most, it might cost them the next election. People, not just women, want the government to mind its own business when it comes to medical decisions (isn’t that the point of opposing the whole health care act anyway?) Of course, some don’t see it that way. Some see it as a lack of personal responsibility (although getting birth control to avoid an unwanted pregnancy seems to be the very height of responsibility). Others see it as…well, I can’t even fathom what some of them are thinking. And it’s not Republicans. There are Republicans who are not on board with this, and Democrats who are disturbingly silent.

I know that most of the readers here are men, and if you’ve stuck with me this long, you might be thinking, “So what. “ This doesn’t affect me.” Well, sit back.

What if your sister ends up needing a full or partial hysterectomy due to untreated endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome, or any number of other medical conditions birth control pills can treat successfully, but she couldn’t get them because the Catholic school she works for is allowed to ‘opt out’ of that portion of her insurance coverage?

(And in an era of still 8 to 10 percent unemployment, the “find another job” argument isn’t going to fly.)

What if your daughter is raped and impregnated. Before any discussion of abortion she is required to hear the heartbeat (if she’s in Ohio, potentially), or be laid down on a gurney while a total stranger takes a probe to do an internal ultrasound, whether she wants one or not? (That requirement was stripped out of the Virginia legislation, but if you live in the state of Virginia, what if it had not?)

What if your pregnant wife, gods forbid, discovers that your child is going to be stillborn or miscarried, but instead of being able to go to the doctor and have it removed safely, she is forced to go through the emotional and physical pain of either miscarrying (which can be a very slow and dangerous process) or must carry the child to term and deliver as if everything was okay. You get to watch. If you live in Georgia, there’s a law going through right now proposing that very thing.

Still think it doesn’t affect you? Something to think about this November.

Firewoman is a regular contributor to both the Pun's House and Online Onslaught message boards.  She is also a charter member of the OOWF e-fed.  Her interests include sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of things.

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The View From Down Here - Someday.....

So, today Solly and I were discussing what song we wanted to use for the intro to our new podcast.  I had heard Eddie Vedder's "Someday We'll Go All The Way" before, but I'd forgotten about it.  I was glad when I stumbled across it again on YouTube while searching for baseball songs.  The story goes that Vedder wrote this song at the request of Mr. Cub himself, Ernie Banks, as a birthday gift.

Eddie is a real, honest to God, Cub fan - not one of those celebrities that will be a fan of any team that will pimp his/her next  movie.  In fact, I'm willing to bet that Vedder can talk baseball with you, quoting Ron Santo's stats while your girlfriend is busy humping him with her eyes.


And while I like "Go Cubs Go" this song definitely captures the sentiments shared by all Cub fans, regardless of age.  It still gives me goosebumps when I hear it.  Take a listen with the video below.

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Live Tweetin' with the Baron

Greetings and salutations, Pun's House!  I am The Beer Baron and what follows is the madness I like to call, "Live Tweetin' w/ the Baron".  I usually tweet RAW every Monday night with my insights, comments, and some general improv humor when I'm inspired to tweet.  This is the first time I've posted this to Pun's House, and hopefully not the last! 


Follow me, if you want, @BeerBaron4life



RAW 3/19/12 Beginning to End:


Hey Punshousers, Beer Baron here and usually every Monday Night I live tweet RAW. You
can follow me at beerbaron4life@twitter.com if you enjoy random ramblings and grumblings!
Enjoy.


CM Punk is going through The Jericho Obstacle. Hopefully not like how the Shockmaster goes through them. #iwantwrestling #RAW


Jericho with the sister jokes! Up next: Yo Momma Jokes!#iwantwrestling #RAW


Don't forget Step 9!!! Step 9!!! #iwantwrestling #RAW #Seinfeld


I didn't hear what CM Punk just said, as it was censored. "...and I'll beat it out of you." Obviously he said...Jericho's full of shit #RAW


Big Show's tight look awful with that poop colored camouflage.#iwantwrestling #RAW


If Cody Rhodes really wanted to show a Big Show embarrassing moment: the infamous WCW monster truck battle vs Hogan#iwantwrestling #RAW


Why Big Show would ever go to the 2nd rope for offense is beyond me. #iwantwrestling #RAW


Cody Rhodes channeling the Ghost of the Big Bossman! Show is handcuffed to the ropes.  Time to serve hard time! #iwantwrestling#RAW


A show called Duck Dynasty? Is every hillbilly getting a show in America? Sad thing is, idiots
will watch it. #iwantwrestling #RAW


Oh good, @DavidOtunga is on #RAW. It's been a week since I asked him about rulings on Bird Law. May not be his specialty.


Santino power-walks the ropes better than most of the diva division.#iwantwrestling #RAW


Not even Teddy Long's awful G dancing could brighten that last segment


So Cody Rhodes has been Vega and now Balrog. Can't wait for his Sagat phase. #Raw


Retweeted by Beer Baron
Fuck the hulk hogan grasshopper dick #teamsheikie


Retweeted by Beer Baron
The tim tebow now become the jew after the jesus turn heal on him?#teamsheikie


Retweeted by Beer Baron
Lord Tensai?!? He just stole Hakushi's gimmick! Is there nothing safe in this world anymore?!? #iwantwrestling #RAW


Rock with a Always Sunny in Philadelphia mention! #iwantwrestling#RAW


Shane Douglas is confirmed to be a part of "Team Johnny". Or he will be, when he figure out
which Target he's working at.


Retweeted by Beer Baron
So Lord Tensai = Albert. Great. #iwantwrestling #RAW


YES! YES! YES! YEESSSSS!!!! #iwantwrestling #RAW


Nice to see the teleprompter in @TheRock shades. #RAW#BushLeague


Retweeted by Beer Baron
Well Zachary Ryder certainly recovered from his broken back/neck/whatever in record time
to have a match 2night.#WeAreWrestling #RAW


Label Lock for the tapout. #YES #YES #YES!!! #RAW


AJ Lee is very cute. Boner Alert! #WeAreWrestling #RAW


Somebody's Goin Get Their Ass Kicked...Mark Henry Walkin'!#WeAreWrestling #RAW


When Mark Henry leaves the WWE after Wrestlemania, I will get his shirt on closeout. #WeAreWrestling #RAW


Damnit. Randy Orton and David Otunga used all the body oil, now the entire WWE roster has to dry fuck Kelly Kelly.


Retweeted by Beer Baron
Rock just Rock Bottomed Mark Henry...to say he can or maybe cause Vince told him to bury
Henry. #WeAreWrestling #RAW


I love @MondayNightFlaw rendition of the #RAW theme song. All jibberish. #WeAreWrestling


A diva tag match at Wrestlemania. Oh yes, that'll put butts in seats.#WeAreWrestling #RAW


Miz with the King Kong Bundy reference. #5count #WeAreWrestling#RAW


Too many Limes...Miz now fighting the unbeatable Sheamus.#WeAreWrestling #RAW


If I could change the Wrestlemania card, I'd have Miz vs Orton and Kane vs Ryder. #WeAreWrestling #RAW


Or Orton/Ryder vs Kane/Miz. Win win with that combo. Ryder gets the rub by teaming with Orton. #WeAreWrestling #RAW


If one of my friends drove 900 miles for a Taco Bell taco, I'd punch him in the face & immediately unfriend him. #WeAreWrestling #RAW


"@BeerBaron4life: A diva tag match at Wrestlemania. Oh yes, that'll put butts in seats. #WeAreWrestling #RAW" It's already sold out, bro.


@WWEKatieVick not at my house...


"My name...is...Randy Orton?" Randy Orton as Ron Burgundy.#WeAreWrestling #RAW


Jack Swagger's haircut makes him look like a big fancy Nazi.#WeAreWrestling #RAW


Disco Fever, again? RT“@JoseCanseco: A mirror ball would complete me”


Solid dropkick by Ziggles. #WeAreWrestling #RAW


HHH with the Tombstone. Dick. #WeAreWrestling #RAW


@JoelyRKO21 it only makes sense. Especially cause Ryder wasn't out with a legit injury.


HBK blabbed for a bit buying Taker enough time to get to Gorilla Position.


Sorry Taker! Times up! You took too much time walking to the ring! HHH's music hits...


Have there really been 24 Hell in a Cell matches? Damn, I had no idea it was that high. #WeAreWrestling #RAW


Lots of silent longing stares back and forth in this main event promo. Is this a Brokeback Mountain promo? #WeAreWrestling #RAW


HBK smiling at the end was pretty funny. That was boring.#WeAreWrestling #RAW


Final thought bout Taker/HHH. In a perfect world HBK should be in it for a Triple Threat Hell in a Cell. Oh well.

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