ROH Review 03/24/12

I’ll bet you can guess where we are coming from this week……..that’s right, the DU BURNS ARENA!

We open with a recap of the March Mayhem opener between Jay Lethal and Roderick Strong from last week.  Lethal wins after botched interference from Michael Elgin.  Lethal advances to the Final Fourway on April 7.

Jim Cornette is in the ring to hype the Triple Threat match at Showdown in the Sun.  An opening promo?  Shame on you ROH.  Roderick Strong, Michael Elgin and Truth Martini are all out.  Next out is Eddie Edwards, by himself.  I am surprised Adam Cole is not out with him.  And finally, Davey Richards comes out, also alone.  You would think his ass kisser Kyle O’Reily would be out there.  Corny asks them to use some professional decorum.  In pro wrestling.  Oh Jimmy, you scamp.  Richards speaks first, and nearly bores me out of the room.  He doesn’t like Edwards or Strong, and he doesn’t trust them at all.  Eddie takes exception to being compared to a prick like Roddy.  Roddy counters that a poor breakup with his boyfriend Davey is no reason to take it out on him.  Touché Roddy.  Roddy believes Elgin is going to give him his match in case Roddy doesn’t win the title on Friday night.  Elgin is about to say something when Jay Lethal comes out, still sans TV title.  He calls Roddy a……..butt munch.  Way to bring it Jay.  Lethal demands more respect, then calls Roddy a…….fart head.  What the hell Lethal?  Jay is done waiting around for what he deserves, he is going to TAKE what he deserves (and since it is ROH, presumably it will be taken by force).  The wolf howls, and Kevin Steen comes out to save the segment.  Steen busts on Davey’s hat.  Steen is fantastic.  Steen is rooting for Edwards to win the title, not because he likes him, but because he wants to win the title in Florida.  Once he wins the title, he is going to be Cornette’s personal, never ending nightmare, then urges them to continue their circle of jerks in the ring.  The love for Steen just grows week by week.

HYPE! Showdown in the Sun, two nights, sixteen matches!

-WGTT are going to send the Briscoes from the ring on a stretcher.  I am not really buying WGTT as brutal heels

WRESTLING’S GREATEST TAG TEAM vs. CAPRICE COLEMAN & CEDRIC ALEXANDER

-WGTT comment before the match.  They wonder if Corny is still pissed because of what they did to the Briscoes.  Sorry, still not buying them as heels.  Shelton is going to call them the C+C Wrestling Factory.  Ok, that was kind of clever.  And completely over the head of 90% of their audience.

-C+C Wrestling Factory contends that they are not going to be beaten by Sysqo on Steroids and the Ben Stein’s Love Child.  Ouch.

WGTT toy with C+C to start, treating it as a warm up match for the pay per view.  Their tone changes pretty fast when neither Caprice or Cedric don’t roll over for them.  C+C hit dueling dives and Nigel says, “send them back into the ring, you can’t beat them on the outside.”  Well, you CAN beat them by count out, just sayin Nigel.  Coleman and Alexander are a pretty good team, they just seem to be missing something, that “it” thing.  I dunno.  Maybe if they had a team name.  Hey! How about C+C Wrestling Factory!  I mean really, how much would it cost ROH to get the rights to “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)”?  Couple bucks?  I mean, C+C Music Factory should be pretty happy to earn any money at this point.  Cedric (I think) hits a SICK frankensteiner on Haas.  It was sick because Haas was on the top rope, and Cedric leaped up FROM THE MAT and took him off the top turnbuckle.  That may be even more impressive than Kurt Angle scaling the turnbuckle for the belly to belly suplex.  Awesome move.  With the referee distracted, the Briscoes come out and KILL Haas with a chair shot! (somehow Jay Briscoe did not run head first into the chair).  Haas may be dead, and C+C get the win! Gotta say I didn’t expect that.  Haas sells it like he is dead.  He got his arm up, but still, it was a sweet chair shot.

COMMERCIALS!

We come back and Haas is still dead.  Shelton is not happy about things, and he threatens genocide against everyone named Briscoe and anyone who cheers for them.  I’m no lawyer, but I think that would warrant some jail time.

INSIDE RING OF HONOR!

-Final countdown for Showdown in the Sun.  Sixteen matches over two days.

Friday

-Triple Threat World Heavyweight Title Match – Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Roderick Strong

-TV Title Match – Jay Lethal vs. Kyle O’Reily

-Street Fight – Young Bucks vs. All Night Express

-La Revancha! – El Generico vs. Kevin Steen

-WGTT vs. Coleman & Alexander

-Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm.  Storm is serious for a moment and says ROH is not a stepping stone.  Bennett and OMG MARIA IS HOT are color coordinated again, really…..just stop.  He is going to get Storm laid…..no, wait, he is going to lay Storm out.

Saturday

-Blind Destiny Match 1 – Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards

-Blind Destiny Match 2 – Michael Elgin vs. Davey Richards

-Blind Destiny Match 3 – Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong

- World Tag Team Title Match – Briscoes vs. WGTT

-Tornado Match – Young Bucks vs. All Night Express

-Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reily

So that is 12 announced ROH matches, I assume that means there will either be some unannounced matches, or they will have 4 CHIKARA matches.

-The Briscoes come out and comment on their match.  It’s going to be an ass whuppin. 

We come back, and Cornette has joined the broadcast booth.  He promises that he is going to fine the Briscoes for using the chair……..but not tonight.  He is going to wait until Monday…….and do it by phone.

ADAM COLE vs. MICHAEL ELGIN – March Mayhem Match 2

Lethal qualified last week by beating Roderick Strong.  Next week Tomasso Ciampa faces Kyle O’Reilly and Eddie Edwards faces Mike Bennett.  The final four face off in the Final Fourway on March 7

Kyle O’Reily joins the announce crew.  Oh goody.  You know, as boring as he is, I would still rather listen to him than Lawler or Booker.  Kyle doesn’t respect Cole at all and says when he beats Lethal for the TV title, he MIGHT give Cole a shot.  Maybe.  He still believes that Cole’s pin on Davey was a complete fluke.  Elgin KILLS Cole with a German suplex into the turnbuckle.  That is a brutal looking move.  Kelly badgers O’Reilly to tell him what he REALLY thinks of Adam Cole.  Uh, Kevin, he said he doesn’t respect him.  How much more do you want?  Kelly flubs his line a little saying “….oh we have to go to a…..wait a minute! I am being told we have to go to a commercial break!” That made me laugh.  He is usually pretty smooth.  Honestly, as far as announce crews go, I would go Tazz/Tenay, Nigel/Kelly, then a very distant third whatever dreck the WWE throws out there.  Here’s hoping Regal gets an announcer shot soon.  Anyway, back to the match!  Elgin is fucking powerful.  Now, unlike WGTT, I think Kyle O’Reily pulls off a douchebag heel VERY well.  He is very white bread, but he is a good heel.  Elgin tosses Cole around while Kelly continues to badger O’Reily into telling him WHY he doesn’t like Cole and what is going on here.  O’Reilly finally says it wasn’t HIS idea to be partners with Cole in Future Shock, and when he shook Eddie’s hand it was like spitting in his face.  Ok, can we be done with that now?  Cole hits a spring board DDT on the apron that looked like it could have gone VERY wrong.  Cole tries the Florida Key, that’s not happening either.  Cole hits a superkick (a transitional move in ROH, not a finisher, take THAT WWE) and Elgin nearly decapitates him with a clothesline (also not a finisher).  Roderick Strong comes to the ring and tries to interfere and “accidentally” hits Elgin with a kick to the head, Cole rolls Elgin up (sadly, THAT seems to be a ROH finisher) and gets the win.  I wonder if they are going to tease an Elgin face turn here?  Elgin, Truth and Strong beat the snot out of Cole until Eddie makes the save.

Next Wee!

Tomasso Ciampa vs. Kyle O’Reilly and Eddie Edwards vs. Mike Bennett in March Mayhem qualifying matches!

PPV PREDICTIONS!

Man, ROH is kind of tough to predict.  They seem to really dig the long title reigns, but both Lethal and Edwards have held the title for over six months now.  Here we go:

-Triple Threat World Heavyweight Title Match – Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Roderick Strong – Richards retains.  I think they are going to slow build Richards/Elgin, probably holding off until December

-TV Title Match – Jay Lethal vs. Kyle O’Reily – Kyle O’Reily gets the upset win here.  Lethal can move into world title contention

-Street Fight – Young Bucks vs. All Night Express – Bucks steal this one

-La Revancha! – El Generico vs. Kevin Steen – Steen wins, but really, it wouldn’t matter if El Generico won this one

-WGTT vs. Coleman & Alexander – Gotta think WGTT gets their win back here, though I could see this being a no contest when the Briscoes get involved

-Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm – No reason for Bennett not to win here

Saturday

-Blind Destiny Match 1 – Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards – Steen wins

-Blind Destiny Match 2 – Michael Elgin vs. Davey Richards – Richards retains, Roddy will be involved in some form here

-Blind Destiny Match 3 – Jay Lethal vs. Roderick Strong – Lethal beats him, cementing his push in the world title picture

- World Tag Team Title Match – Briscoes vs. WGTT – Briscoes retain, if the feud is ending here, it makes no real sense for WGTT to win, unless the rumors of the Briscoes going to WWE are true (and I hope they are not)

-Tornado Match – Young Bucks vs. All Night Express – ANE wins this one

-Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reily – This becomes a TV title match and O’Reily cements his heel turn by cheating to win

Be sure to check out www.punshouse.com for more ROH reviews and general chatter.  And if you are into fantasy wrestling, there is no fed better than the OOWF, just go to www.oowrestling.com and check us out in the fantasy thread!  We have been going for over seven years now!