2Hot's iMPACT Recap July 26, 2012

iMPACT Recap July 26, 2012

iMPACT is LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!!

Hey Fuckers!

It’s the network’s only TNA fan here with YOUR iMPACT RECAP!!, Now cue MY Music!


-Remember how last week that Klaire gave photographic evidence of the time she sexually assaulted AJ Styles after he was passed out?  Remember how the Aces & Eights killed every potentially interesting thing from happening on the show leaving us with a match between Ed Hardy and Robbie EEE?  No?  Well aren’t you lucky.


-Maybe you’ll remember this week.  Lets get our recap on, shall we?!?!


-TONIGHT!! More Bound for Glory!  TONIGHT!! Gut Check is BACK!  TONIGHT!!  Chavo Gurrerrererro Junior is HEEEEEEERE!! TONIGHT!!


-THIS IS STING is here and he lets us know that Dixie put him back in charge of iMPACT because Hulk Hogan is probably not going to ever leave the hospital (fingers crossed), and he’s ready to fight the Aces and Eights.  World Champ Triple A Austin Aries and Kurt Angle also make their way out to the ring to show solidarity.  Thankfully we’re joined by Ravishing Bobby Roode and he’s here to tell all you fat ugly sweathogs to shut your mouths and let the ladies see how a real man sorts out this Aces and Eights business.  He lets us know that the mastermind behind the group is none other than newcomer James Storm!  Considering they all arrived in TNA around the same time, there may be something to this.  Since the truth hurts, the young hothead barrels out to the ring to beat the hell out of the ravishing one.  Sting of course, prevents anyone else from getting involved.  What a dick.


-Back stage, Jason Hervey is following Bobby Roode around listening to him rant about Aces and Eights and their leader, James Storm.  Roode grabs his suitcase and leaves.  This is also when I should have left…


-A bunch of people talk about Chavo Goriero


-But the slow pan on Christy Hemme means IT’S KNOCKOUTS TIME.  Remember three weeks ago when Madison started making out with Earl Hebner?  Unfortunately TNA just did and they decide to recap it while Gail Kim and Madison Rayne walk to the ring.  They’re walking to the ring to have a match against Mickey James and Tara.  There was lots of hot knockouts action in this one.  Some pretty interesting double team segments.  Near the end, Tara hit a stiff move on Madison and went for the pin when Gail flew across the ring and backstabed her like some sort of ninja, breaking up the pin in the process.  The ending came when Micky tried to roll up Maddy but her shoulders were also down and since Micky isn’t giving it up for free like some people, she was the one who got counted out.  This was definitely the knockouts match of the night.  5 stars for favours.


-Backstage, Sting decided that since Austin Aries is the champ, he should have to do Stings dirty work for him and cull the X Division.  Aries didn’t seem to question it.  More on this later…


- A bunch of people talked about the arrival of Chavo Gurerrereio.


-Since Aces and Eights saved us from, I mean, interrupted it last week, IT’S GUT CHECK TIME!! Cancer Free Sam Shaw is here and he’s going to take on Douglas “Part Time” Williams.  Shaw actually put on a pretty decent match here. He dominated the early action before missing a missile drop kick, allowing Williams to take over and end up getting the win.  Mid match, Joey Ryan (you may remember him as the previously “fired” gut check competitor with the Boogie Nights gimmick) (Editors Note:  Chris.  Boogie Nights was a major motion picture from 1997 chronicling the exploits of an adult film actor in the 1970’s and 1980’s.  It starred Mark Wahlberg, Heather Graham, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, William H Macey, Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Don Cheadle, and Luis Guzman.  It was written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.) sucker punched Al Snow like a big tough man, then ran away through the crowd.  Before that happened, we were looking at a serious match of the night candidate.  5 stars for a tryout match where the person trying out, actually tries.


-Back stage, Austin Aries was talking to the X Division.  He was apparently there to decide who the next challenger for the X Division title is going to be.  He shocked us all by taking a black man out of the running.  More on this later…


-In the zONE!  Chavo Gordita is HEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!  He talked about how his family has won the important championships in every country, on every continent, in every company that matters (Suck it, ROH) except this one.  He let us know that when he looked at the wrestlers in the back, he saw hunger.  I guess no one told him it’s because they haven’t been paid in weeks.  He said they’re hungry to be the best.  I wonder if he remembers the last time he worked for a company that was hungry to be the best.  They made him ride a broomstick horse named Pepe.  Kid Kash and Gunner came out to let us know why no one ever lets them hold microphones as they babbled a bunch of unconvincing and incoherent nonsense.  The two attacked Chavo, and Supermex ran in to make the save, since those people always stick together.


-Backstage, the gut check judges tried not to let us know that Sam Shaw will get a contract. Also Al Snow was SUPER PISSED ABOUT JOEY RYAN!  You could tell because he was trying to WIN AT YELLING!  And he was USING his MAD face!


-It’s Bound for Glory Time!  This time, Old Phenom, AJ Styles took on the New Phenom James Storm.  Klaire sat at ringside making her dejected face so we’d know she was feeling dejected.  Really good, fast paced action in this one from two competitors who can really get it done in the ring.  Both competitors gave the match way more effort than it deserved. It really was worth watching until the Aces and Eights came out and everyone.  Everyone that is, except James Storm…  Until the end, this was sincerely the match of the night.  5 stars for being better than it had any right to be.


- Back stage, Jason Hervey accused James Storm of knowing something about Aces and Eights.  He said he doesn’t need them to woop Jason Hervey’s ass.  But really, who would…


- It’s Gut Check time again!  I’ll spare you the pain and let you know that the votes were two to one in favour of giving him a contract.  Which of course means we’ll likely never see him again.


-Back Stage Triple A was making more cuts. To no one’s surprise, he cut the white guy.  Leaving the choice between the black guy and the mostly black guy.  Shockingly, black guy won!  Kenny King got to challenge The Paralyzer for his title TONIGHT!!


-BRING ON THE SPOT MONKEYS!  We already know who was in this match.  Zema hoped to hold on to his belt in this one while Kenny would have been happy to be able to walk out after the match under his own power.  Lots of fast paced flippity shit and stiff spots in this one.  About half way through the match, Ion was sporting a well-defined hand print on his chest (RIP Crippler).  King put on a really impressive performance when for some unexplained reason, Bobby Roode showd up and killed King, costing him the victory.   Until then, this was easily the match of the night.  5 Stars for swerves.


-Backstage, Every Segment Whatshisname let us know that he was just tweeting that he’s going to beat the best wrestler in the world, Kurt Angle, tonight!  If you want to read that tweet, you can follow him @2hot2k.


-It’s MAIN EVENT TIME!  Kurt Angle took on Bully Whatshisname in what figured to be a first class smash mouth brawl until Aces and Eights showe up and ruined things.  The match delivered and then some.  There was tons of hard-hitting action here.  So many mud holes were getting stomped that it was becoming impossible to walk them dry.  Amazingly the match was NOT broken up by Aces and Eights, when Kurt Angle hit the aptly named Angle Slam and got 7 BFG points for his trouble.  This was honestly a really really good match.  I know Kurt rarely has a bad one but Ray really is doing the best ring work of his career.  It’s almost a toss-up if this match or the Styles/Storm match earlier was better but since this was the main event, we’ll make it match of the night.  5 slaptastic stars!!


-Of course total nonstop anarchy broke out immediately following the match as those Aces and Eights jerks showed up to spoil all the fun.  Sting, Aries, and AJ came to the rescue of Bully and Kurt.  When they started to get overwhelmed, The Newcomer, James Storm hit the ring and cleared it without actually hitting anyone….  Hmmm…  They really gave the illusion here that this storyline was actually advancing.  But it didn’t.



Anyway...

That happened.


You can follow me on Twitter at @2hot2k, or send your questions or comments to mnfscott@gmail.com

See you next week.


Your Pal

2HoT

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Wait 'Til Next Year - Episode 25: Cooper's Town

For their landmark 25th show this week, Nate and Solly welcome Taryn Cooper, host of the "A Gal For All Seasons" podcast.  Want to hear a female talk circles around the guys with regards to baseball?  Well, you'll get your wish.

http://flawedcast.net/wtny/


Find us on iTunes as well.

You can also find us on Stitcher by searching Wait Til Next Year.

Discuss the show at Pun's House!

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2Hot's iMPACT Recap July 19, 2012

iMPACT Recap July 19, 2012
iMPACT is LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!!

Hey Fuckers!

It’s the network’s only TNA fan here with YOUR iMPACT RECAP!!, Now cue MY Music!

-Remember how last week two thirds of the KKK came out to let AJ know that Klaire’s baby is his?  And remember how Hogan and Sting got beat up by a bunch of masked men calling themselves Aces & Eights?  You don’t?  Well too bad for you, because it was glorious!

-So since we’re here anyway, how’s about we recap this bitch, shall we?

- Taz and Tenay let us know that Hulk Hogan suffered a broken pelvis as a result of the Aces&Eights attack.  Most people Hogan’s age who suffer that kind of injury never actually end up leaving the hospital so... fingers crossed?

-Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  ITS OPEN FIGHT NIGHT TONIGHT!  Plus BOUND FOR GLORY continues TONIGHT!  Plus GUT CHECK happens again TONIGHT!

-In the zONE, Early contender for Rookie of the year, James Storm is here!!  He gets on the mic and asks if he can be serious for a minute...  He reminds us that we have a new world champ.  He reminds us that he still wants to kick the crap out of Bobby Roode.  He reminds us that he should be the sheriff because he’s the company’s only cowboy and so he should be in charge of dealing with Aces&Eights.  BUT FIRST!  He wants to prove himself against Kurt Angle and get himself a few more points.

-Kurt Angle is HERE!  Or is he?  He no-sells two rounds of his entrance music before someone is sent to go find him.  When he does, we find that Kurt has also been laid out by Aces & Eights!  Taz lets us know that no one knows who they are, but they sure aren’t playing games.  At least games that aren’t card games.  And they certainly aren’t being lead by Sean O’Haire.

-Now Evil Foreigner Samoan Joe is here and he wants to call someone out!  He is lookin to get spiritual up in here so he’s callin out The POPE!  Di Angelo De Negro is here!!  Since this isn’t an X-Division match, it’s hard to say who the favorite is in this one.  Mike “The Spoiler” Tenay lets us know mid match that TNA has signed a “New Talent” and it’s Chavo Guerrero Jr but, you’ll find that out later. Back in the match, Joe was getting beaten like he stole something for most of the match when De Negro lost focus for a split second and got caught in some sort of Arm Bar that Taz said the name of but it sounded racist so I’m not going to repeat it here.  All in all this was a really fun short match.  It’s definitely an early match of the night contender.  5 Stars for getting right to the point.

-Outside in the parking lot, Ravishing Bobby Roode is here, and he’s PISSED!  He lets us know that he had nothing to do with Aces & Eights but he’s going to call out the champ Jason Hervey, and there’s not a damned thing you can do to stop him!  FLUUUUUUUUUKE!!

-Back in the zONE, we finally get the match we’ve all been waiting for! Ed Hardy takes on Robbie EEEEE!!!  Hardy only has makeup on one side of his face tonight.  I wonder if anyone realizes that’s a symptom of a stroke.  I’m sure you’d be shocked to know that occasionally Robbie TEE gets involved in the match, helping out his friend against the Intoxicated Enigma.  Eventually Hardy, clearly in a blackout, gets confused about who he’s fighting, and starts beating down the big Robbie until he gets himself counted out.  Robbie E wins!!!  This was definitely the Upset of the night and since Robbie EEE got the win over the only person in the company I hate more than Robbie EEE, I’ll even give it 5 stars for HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU HARDY!! YOU JUST JOBBED TO TNA’S HORNSWOGGLE.

- Outside, we get a segment that lets us know that the Knockouts Tag Champs are back in town!  Yay!  This show is definitely better when EY is here.

-Luckily next, we get a video recap of AJ’s Baby Mamma Drama because the show was on the verge of becoming entertaining.  Thanks for not letting us get our hopes up, TNA.

-In the ring, Backstage Jeremy Borash is here to let us know that it is muthafuckin Gut Check TIME!  This month, our Gut Check competitor is none other than “Cancer Free” Sam Shaw!!  Just when we’re about to find out who his opponent is going to be, Aces & Eights come out and beat him to DEATH!  Well not really, but he becomes just another victim, kid!  Also, that was probably the best Gut Check segment so far.

-Mr Kenderson is here!!  And he’s here to call out someone he respects.  AJ Styles.  This oughta be good.  Textbook mutual respect match here.  Lots of back and forth action in this one.  It was more or less even throughout the bout. Kenderson gets his second match in as many weeks to span a commercial break.  The pace picked up at the end as the two fumbled their way through a chain wrestling clinic that ended with Kenderson stealing the roll up win.  Even though the match was about 5 minutes too long, it was probably the match of the night.  5 stars for dragging it out.

-Thankfully Klaire is here to give us an even shitter segment than the last one to help us forget it.  She says that since he wouldn’t answer her calls, she has to come talk to him in the ring.  She then shows some pictures of her rubbing her cracky skankness all over him while he appears to be passed out.  In all seriousness, where I come from, we call that rape.

-Thankfully Bob Van Damn is here to give us an even shittier segment than the last one, to help us forget it.  Since it’s open fight night, BVD wants to see how bad he can sandbag Kristopher Daniels.  As if this match didn’t have enough going against it, joining on commentary is some jerk from Bellator to tell us all about the Bellator 72 ppv that is happening tomorrow.  (Editor’s Note: It already happened and no one gave a shit).  There was lots of back and forth action in this one.  BVD went for his finisher, the Facefullofasssweat but Kristopher was able to reverse it and get the three count.  Even though I barely paid attention to it, I’m sure it was the match of the night.  5 stars for keeping BVD down.

-Back stage, Joseph Park is giving New Bishoff some legal advice and telling him about his match with Bully Ray.  Bishoff wonders about the look in his eye, and Park thinks Bishoff might have taken a few too many shots to the head but actually he’s just an idiot.

-In the zONE, Magnus is entering the ring when Whatshisname jumps him from behind and we have our final BFG match for the night.  Magnus takes an absolute pounding in this one.  It’s not often he has to try to take such a man the size of Whatshisname.  Finally the opening presents itself and Magnus is able to get on top. He really gives it to whatshisname for quite a while and gets to the brink of finishing a few times.  Eventually,  just when you think he’s ready to put Whatshisname to bed, Whatshisname hits an RKO out of nowhere and gets three.  This match was full of hot action and had to be the match of the night. 5 implied stars.

-The Ravishing one is here.  He’s here to tell all you Obese Orange Farming Idiots to shut your mouths and let the ladies see how a real man calls out the champ and he wants a piece of Austin Aries to let him know that his win was just a fluke.

-Aries is HERE and we have a match!  Shut up, I’m trying to watch!  Hell of a match.  It’s so good that even the announcers are speechless for stretches at a time.  Occasionally they try to pin the Aces & Eights storyline on Roode, but he’s clearly busy right now getting the belt back.  An amazing match.  It was joy to watch till the end when the Aces & Eights come out and beat down Aries and not Roode.  Hmm, I wonder if that is significant in some way. It could have been except then the banditos started beating down Roode as well.  Taz then utters the fateful line that I am sure we are going to hear ad nauseum for the duration of this angle when he calls this “Total Nonstop Anarchy!!!”

Anyway...

That happened.

You can follow me on Twitter at @2hot2k, or send your questions or comments to 2hot@flawedcast.net

See you next week.

Your Pal

2HoT

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Northern Reflections – A Bunch of Quick Hits 2: The Winter Soldier

I’ve decided to try to blog more frequently. The one I wrote about my night out with Stella Ella Ola got 175 reads. Thanks to everyone who read it. I hope you enjoyed it, and more importantly, I hope you downloaded and enjoyed the music and will support these bands by buying their music when it’s available.

I’ll probably wind up doing mainly “Quick Hits” blogs, as I rarely have a lot to say about any single thing. Let’s get started on this one.

The Bane/Bain Capital Thing

For those who haven’t heard, there’s a conspiracy theory out there that the makers of the new Batman movie chose Bane as the villain to make Mitt Romney’s company Bain Capital look bad. First off, in this type of economy, financial companies don’t need help looking like the bad guy. Secondly, the character was chosen for the movie well over a year ago – long before Romney was the Republican candidate. Third, this conspiracy’s loudest supporter is Rush Limbaugh, so you can pretty much dismiss it out of hand as an attention-whoring move. (And if that's not enough to convince you, the two guys who created Bane are conservatives, and they're saying this is ridiculous.)

It’s ludicrous. I’m sure you know that, but I figured I’d say it anyway.

The Newsroom

Aaron Sorkin’s new show. It’s really really good. I mean, it has its problems – it’s a bit heavy-handed in its anti-FOX News, most notably – but the banter is what you’d expect, the characters are likeable when they should be and detestable when they should be, and Jack McCoy says “fuck” a lot. What more can you ask for?

Well, if you’re Michael Wilbon from ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption, apparently, you can ask for more black characters. For some reason, Wilbon is pissed that Sorkin “couldn’t find one black actor” for his show. There’s a very prominent Indian character and three very strong female characters (which is great, if you’re keeping score on this sort of thing), but no black characters. There are also no Native Americans, no Chinese, no Koreans, no Japanese, no handicapped, no Jewish, no Muslim, no Inuit, no Brazilian, no canine, no Norwegian – you know what? Fuck Sorkin and his non-inclusive show. I’m boycotting it until he has every race, religion, gender, and species represented. (No I’m not.) It’s ridiculous that he doesn’t. (No it’s not.) I’m outraged. (No I’m not.)

Hey Wilbon: stick to sports. Leave the social commentary to social commentators.

Chick-Fil-A

Something that I am actually pissed about is the Chick-Fil-A news. I had heard maybe six months ago that the company was donating vast sums of money to anti-gay institutions. I was disgusted. Today, there’s an article on the Huffington Post wherein the owner of Chick-Fil-A comes right out (not that way) and says that he believes in the Biblical definition of marriage and that people have no right to redefine it for themselves.

What he doesn’t say is what marriage (gay or otherwise) has to do with chicken sandwiches. I mean, he’s as entitled to his opinion as I am to mine, but what he’s basically doing is turning his business into “Bigot Burger.” He’ll definitely lose sales from people who find his stance morally reprehensable, but he’ll likely gain twice as many sales from those who share his belief.

I realize I’m generalizing and speculating and that I have no data to back any of this up, but that’s what I see as the game plan here: hate speech = money. It’s sickening.

Fantasy Football

On a muuuch lighter note, it’s almost draft time. My Canada RoughRiders are preparing to defend the Cupcakes & Bananas title with keeper options such as Fred Jackson, Mike Wallace, and the 49ers Defense. Seriously.

After looking at my final roster from last year, I have no idea how I won. In fairness, I had Brady (not keepable, sadly) and Jackson (who played way above his pay grade), but that shouldn’t have been enough. I remember a couple of weeks where my opponent tanked or I got big numbers from unexpected places, but what an amazing perfect storm for me to win a league with these guys.

Congrats, me.

ComiCon News

ComiCon happened last weekend in San Diego. I haven’t heard anything bad about the event that wasn’t related to waiting in lines, but that’s just part of the deal. Here are some of the Marvel highlights:

•    Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier – This is exactly what I was hoping for. The Winter Soldier is an awesome character, and they’ve already set the scene for this movie to take place.
•    Thor 2: The Dark World – No idea what this one’s going to be about, but I’ll be there opening night.
•    Guardians of the Galaxy – I’m really excited about this one, too. I’ve seen the teaser art, so I know it’s the most recent iteration of the team, which is great. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a talking raccoon and the king of the tree people on the team. No, seriously. And it’s going to be awesome.
•    Deadpool video game – there’s an adults-only teaser trailer here. You’re either excited or you’re not. I think it’s going to kick all of the different kinds of ass.

But DC had the announcement of the weekend: Neil Gaiman is going to write more Sandman. There are no words to describe how awesome a thing that is. I’ve been thinking about it for almost a week, and I still can’t describe it. If you haven’t read Sandman, you should. I can’t give it a higher recommendation. It’s literature with pictures. Read it.

Huge NHL News

In absolutely huge NHL news, I’ll be doing a hockey podcast with Fred “Solly” Solomon, likely starting in late August or early September. What qualifies us to host a hockey podcast? Absolutely nothing. Really.

That said, it should be a lot of fun, and I expect that it will deviate quite a bit from the core subject (hockey), so even if you’re American, you might enjoy it.

And that’s all I’ve got for now.

As always, I’m open to “Blog-on-demand.” If you’ve got something you want me to spout off on, just let me know.

Have fun. Play safe.

Your pal,

~Hodgey

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Northern Reflections – A Night on the Town

I’ve got a daughter who turned three in April. She’s great. My wife just gave birth a month ago to a second daughter. Also a great kid. What they aren’t is conducive to going out. I’m not complaining here – I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything in the world – just pointing out that my leisure time is severely limited these days.

So, when I heard that Stella Ella Ola (the band that I blogged about here a couple of months ago) was playing a bar that’s a 15-minute walk from my house, I asked my wife to call her mother in for babysitting duty, and we were all set for a night on the town. But here’s the thing about kids: they rarely cooperate.

My three-year-old woke up the morning of the show saying she didn’t feel well. Then she wouldn’t eat much breakfast. Then she spewed what little she’d eaten. Fuck. So, my wife called her mother and cancelled. Not that she’s not a capable babysitter, just that we didn’t feel comfortable saddling her with a newborn and a sick kid.

And then it was decision time. Do I go it alone? Do I cancel? Fuck canceling. I went. What made that decision pretty easy for me happened a couple of days before. I’m bouncing all over the place here, but bear with me. I’m in my mid-30s, and, like I mentioned, I’ve got the two kids. Add the job on top of that, and you know what? I’m tired. All the time, I’m tired.

So I decided to send the band a Tweet to find out how late a night we were in for. (The Facebook event page said it was a 9:00 start.) The response? They’re probably going onstage around midnight. Dear lord, I can’t handle that shit. I Tweeted back, sending my regrets, and…you know what? I’ll just quote the actual exchange here:

Me: @_StellaEllaOla_ What time are you guys taking the stage on Saturday? Have you got an opener going on at 9?

SEO: @psychofish77 because of dinner crowd, first band - Dangerband - on around 11. We go on around midnight. Hope to see you there!

ME: @_StellaEllaOla_ Might have to revisit the idea. We're very old, you see. I was hoping you'd be on by 10 or so.

SEO: @psychofish77 shoot! That be a shame. But you young at heart and it weekend - so maybe?

Me: @_StellaEllaOla_ Definitely maybe.

At this point, I was resigning myself to just skipping the show and dealing with the disappointment. Then the next day, out of nowhere, unsolicited, unasked for, unexpected, this happened:

SEO: @psychofish77 got an idea- we're going to do first set around 10. Then Dangerband around 11. Then us again! Works right?!!!

So yeah. The headliners decided to go on two hours early to accommodate one fan bitching about being old. How phenomenally cool is that? (Very.) Of course, that’s the kind of offer you don’t pass up, so I committed, then the kid got sick, then I decided I was going alone. I think that puts the story back on track.

At about 9:00, I head out. Get to the Merchant Ale House at 9:15 or so. Order a beer, find a free WiFi connection, fuck around on the Net for a bit as the band’s milling about at the front of the bar. Then one of the band guys makes his way over, calls me by name, sits down next to me at the bar, orders a beer, and starts shooting the shit. Really nice move. This is Jake. He mentions being in another band from Montreal, and I’m immediately excited, because I know that two members of Hollerado – the Montreal-based band whose debut album I reviewed here – are in Stella Ella Ola. When Jake confirmed that was indeed the case, I was blown away. Hollerado has become one of my favourite bands over the past year, and here I am sitting in a bar down the street from my house with their drummer, just having a casual conversation (wherein I probably came off like a total fanboy).

Jake plays bass in Stella. He introduced me to Stella’s drummer, Vince, and I later met Jake’s brother (and Holleradian), Nick, as well as the band’s lead singer, Anne, when I was buying a t-shirt from them. All really friendly people, and all really happy to talk to a fan about their music.

I also learned that the opening act, Dangerband, were on the same label as Stella* and Hollerado (Royal Mountain Records), as is Topanga – the band that sound guy for this gig (whose name escapes me because I’m a terrible human being) is in. Jake called it nepotistic, but it struck me more as an incredible network of support. It really reminded me of the stories I’ve heard about the Seattle scene in the early 90s, where bands like Pearl Jam and Soundgarden helped each other out and supported each other instead of going the usual route of tearing each other down. It’s the mentality that everyone can succeed with some help, rather than one band succeeding by stepping on the others. Seeing the network made me respect what these guys are doing even more.

So, at about 10:30, Stella goes on. And you know what? They were every bit as good as I expected. I was beaming the entire time they played, and I was disappointed when they were done. I don’t know what else you can ask of a band.

Not long after Stella finished, Dangerband took the stage. After Stella’s set was over, both Jake and Vince had recommended that I stick around to watch them, and since my kids were in my wife’s more than capable hands, I was happy to oblige.

I’d seen Dangerband come into the bar earlier in the night. They were pretty hard to miss. They were by far the youngest people in the place. To me, they looked like teenagers, but I’m a terrible judge of such things. They’re more likely in their early 20s. In any event, the people in Stella had treated me like gold that night and requested that I stick around, so I did. Out of respect. I figured maybe I’d sneak out halfway through what was sure to be a noisy, sloppy set.

Then HOLY FUCK ARE THESE GUYS GOOD happened. Apart from the high level of talent, which is clearly evident, these guys are consummate professionals. They worked the cramped stage in perfect unison. Every move, every note – just incredible. Obviously, I was impressed. Not to take anything away from Stella, who were awesome, but I expected them to be awesome. They haven’t been playing together for a long time, but they’ve all been musicians for a long time. No reason they shouldn’t be good. But these “kids”? They absolutely blew me away.

Dangerband played a tight set, then Stella came back on and played their set again. And you know what? It was every bit as good the second time around. Oh, and by the way, the cover charge for this performance: $0.00. Name me a place where you can get entertainment this good for free.

And that’s the story of my night on the town. Stella and Hollerado cemented me as a fan for life, and I plan to do everything I can to promote them, Dangerband, Topanga, and the rest of the Royal Mountain Records ensemble. It’s great people making great music. There’s no reason in the world not to support that.

Hollerado has free tracks available here: http://www.hollerado.com/

Stella Ella Ola has free tracks available here: http://stellaellaola.bandcamp.com/

Topanga has free tracks available here: http://musicoftopanga.bandcamp.com

Dangerband has free tracks available here: http://dangerband.bandcamp.com/

Download them. Listen to them. Follow these guys on the Twitters and the Facebook. Keep an eye out for local shows and upcoming album releases. There are a lot of big things coming from this extended group in the near future. Don’t miss out.

*I've been informed that Dangerband is not with Royal Mountain Records. There's a possibility that I made that error because I did no research whatsoever to write this blog. I apologize if anyone was put off by the misinformation.

---

As always, I’m still very open to “Blog-on-demand.” If you’ve got something you want me to spout off on, just let me know.

Have fun. Play safe.

Your pal,

~Hodgey

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2Hot's iMPACT Recap July 5th, 2012

iMPACT Recap July 5th, 2012


Brought to you by AYDS!!


iMPACT is LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!!


And I’m back, bitches!!!


It’s the network’s only TNA fan here with YOUR iMPACT RECAP!!, Now cue MY Music!


-Remember how on last week’s show last week there was a bunch of wrestling slathered in shitty storylines and headshaking nonsense?  Thankfully I don’t, because I managed to get BJ and the Bear to feel my pain and recap it  so I didn’t have to. 


-If I may... I’d also like to send a special message to Thom Roper.  If you sandbag in the ring as much as you sandbagged my recap two weeks ago, you’ll be jobbing in Ring of Honor in no time.  Keep up the good work, budday!


-Let’s get to some Wrasslin, shall we?


-TONIGHT!! Rookie Sensation James Storm will take on Clown College graduate Ed Hardy in a BFG Match!!


-I hear music!  Every Segment Whatshisname has decided to come down to the ring.  I’m guessing this has something to do with Chris Youknowabyss and Renowned Chicago Lawyer, Joseph Park.  Or maybe he’s just forgotten who he is again.  That Alzheimer’s is a sonofabitch.  He has apparently decided to join twitter so you can all follow him @2hot2k.  He also wants a piece of the Park.  You already know the backstory here and not just because it is a modern day classic.  So the short version is that Park and Whatshisname are going to lock up next Thursday even though there is a PPV in 4 days and this feud has been going since February.


-Backstage, Hulk Hogan wants Triple A Austin Aries to give up his belt but all Aries wants to talk about is his sweet jet pack.


-I think there was some segment involving AJ and that whore he knocked up but my eyes started to burn so I was forced to look away.


-At the 14 minute mark of the show, we finally have our first match.  And lucky us, it’s a Television Title match between RBD and Recently Defeated Crimson.  This is your classic textbook random TV Title match.  Lots of explosive action in this one.  The finish comes seemingly randomly when RBD hits a Dominator and gets the three count.  This was without a doubt the (first) match of the night!  5 stars for live burials. 

-There are some post-match shenanigans when some hooker prances out to the ring and starts making out with Earl Hebner.  Oh SNAP!  That’s no hooker!  That’s Madison Rayne!! You know, just the other day I was thinking, “you know what will save TNA and take it to the next level?”  “Putting your 63-year-old head referee in a major, on-camera storyline involving sex.”  Goddamnit TNA!  Get out of my head!!!


-Meanwhile, back in the ring, “Crippled” Chris Sabin has hobbled on crutches out to the ring to tell us about what’s in store for his future.  He’s wearing shades if that counts for anything...  He goes in to this long speech about how everyone is telling him he should retire when we are mercifully saved from this snoozefest by the Ravishing One.  Bobby Roode comes out to the ring to tell us all that the X-Division is all risk and no reward before he knocks Sabin off his feet and stomps his mangled knee for a while.   Thank you, Bobby, for saying what we all think.  Thank you.


-Meanwhile, back in the ring, it’s time to BRING EVEN MORE SPOT MONKEYS!!  This edition of Spotfest Weekly features Dakoda Darsow (yes, that Darsow) taking on Flip Casanova.  I feel like I’m playing an unmodified version of Total Extreme Wrestling 05. (Fuck you, nerds.) Super sick spot in this one when Casanova does a complete 360 degree backflip and lands, seated, on Darsows chest.  The ending comes when Flip (and I use that term loosely), attempts the same move from the top rope and nearly kills Darsow when he botches it and basically stomps on Darsow’s neck.  He gets the three count and advances toward the X division title I guess?  This match was full of sick spots.  It had to be the match of the night.  5 stars for stretchers over substance.


-Backstage, someone off camera is holding a mic and asking a couple hookers some questions about some kind of Tag Match?  Oh wait, those aren’t hookers, Its Tara and Bev Tessmacher.  They’re just DRESSED like hookers.  Anywho...  The two babble on for a few minutes but I just skip ahead to where they start making out.


-A video package reminds us that CancerFace got a job because of Gut Check.  Thankfully the video package was almost as long as the Gut Check segment.

-Meanwhile, back in the ring, it’s KNOCKOUTS TAG MATCH TIME!! Tara and Betty Tessmacher take on Gail Kim and Madison Rayne.  As the match is starting, Tenay lets us know that Gail is getting a title shot next Thursday on iMPACT.  I wonder if he knows there is a PPV on Sunday because neither announcer has even uttered the words more than twice so far this episode.  Strange knockouts action in this one with Gail busting out some ninja smoke bomb and hiding outside the ring while Maddy took a pounding to rival the one Earl is going to give her later.  As if the point didn’t need more driving home, Maddy received finishers from both Tara and Bernice.  But she did look especially hot while doing so, which is why this was the match of the night.  5 ample stars.


-A video package reminds us that Up and Comer James Storm still thinks he sucks.  But he doesn’t think he sucks as bad as Ed Hardy so he’s going to fight him later. Later TONGHT!!

-Meanwhile, back in the ring, it's AJ out to deny his manwhoring ways.  In the interest of my own sanity, I’ll boil this segment down to brass tacks.  AJ is going to fight Kristopher Daniels in a Last Man Standing match at Destination X.  This is really the first segment they talked about the PPV so I guess that’s good.


-Backstage, Hulk Hogan is babbling on about some inside stuff that no one cares about when some guy wearing a too-big red bandana but not being a Mexican comes in and says “were not cowards” and then starts hucking playing cards at him and yelling “Next week, Esse!!!” It was weird.


-It looks like it’s a Spotfest Weekly Double Feature because we have another X-Division “tournament” match.  Now BRING BACK THE SPOT MONKEYS!!  This so-called tournament doesn’t seem to have brackets or anything resembling structure but I guess even having advanced storytelling of any kind is a novelty on this program so we’ll let it ride this time.  Anyway, this match features Black Guy You’ve Never Heard Of taking on White Guy You’ve never heard of.  Big spots blah blah blah, very exciting, blah blah blah, sick spot, blah blah blah, black guy wins!  Match of the Night!  5 stars for blah blah blah.


-A video package reminds us that Austin Aries will be going for the World Title this Sunday at Destination X.  It also reveals that Aries likes to bike around, shirtless, wearing a tiny backpack.  I guess that's his jet pack?  Not that there’s anything wrong with that...

-Meanwhile, back in the ring, IT’S MAIN EVENT TIME!! The Young Phenom James Storm takes on Ed Hardy Brought to you by Beautytone Paints and Stains in a Bound for Glory match.  Lots of back and forth action in this one.  At one point, Taz gets in to a dissertation about how the Twist of Fate can be hit out of nowhere but a Superkick out of nowhere requires some set-up.  I never would have thought that but I guess that’s why he does colour commentary and I write snarky satire.  There was lots of back and forth hard-hitting action in this one.  The ending comes when Storm takes much too long setting up a Superkick out of nowhere and gets hit with a Twist of Fate for his trouble.  This was a fast paced and exciting match.  It was certainly the match of the night.  5 stars for convolution.

-After the match, a very strange thing happens when Taz and Tenay actually spend some time running down the card of Destination X.  I’m frightened and disoriented.  I don’t know what to make of all this organization.

-Meanwhile, back in the ring, Hulk Hogan is here and he wants Aries out to relinquish his X Division Title.  He’s also here to spew a bunch of inside shit that no one cares about yet again until finally Ravishing Bobby Roode comes out to save us from the pain.  He reminds Hogan what a boring old joke he is until Triple A Austin Aries comes out to remind him that he’s going to take his belt on Sunday.  Great stuff all around here.  Now if they had have done this segment at the beginning of the show instead of the end, it would have been even better but one step at a time I guess.  This show was, honestly, a solid outing with a bunch of silly bullshit mixed in.  I am genuinely looking forward to Sunday.  I haven’t been able to say that for a while.


Anyway...

That happened.

You can follow me on Twitter at @2hot2k, or send your questions or comments to mnfscott@gmail.com 


See you on the Male Bag with your Destination X Recap!!


Your Pal 


2HoT

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Wait 'Til Next Year - Episode 22: Creeped Out

In this episode, Nate and Solly get you ready for the MLB All-Star Game by discussing this year’s American League and National League rosters.  Who’s in?  Who should be in?  And why the current voting system is a joke.  They also discuss the retirement of the Trainwreck....er....D-Train, Dontrelle Willis.






On a side note, this is the first episode that was completely edited by me.  If there are any issues, let me know.

Download it at Flawedcast.net


Find it on iTunes


Listen on Stitcher


Discuss here!

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