When I listen to the old metal hairband music now I often laugh. Cherry Pie is more comedy than music. People once took The Final Countdown seriously. It's true. Girls actually swooned and giggled at the men-sticking-their-tongues-through-peace-signs pictures that graced the pages of Metal Edge magazine.
If you haven't listened to all of Def Leppard's Pyromania in a while, it's time to take another listen. It won't make you laugh, unless you have a good memory of the videos. This music still gets to me. Crappy B-sides don't exist on this album. The obligatory power ballad to bring in the girls is omitted. I'll argue with anyone that the best albums of all time do not have power ballads.
1. Rock Rock Till You Drop - Don't listen to the words. Joe Elliot and Rick Savage were never the best songwriters. Great guitar, Steve Clark had a unique style that I always loved.
2. Photograph - Classic tale of the boy who falls for the Playboy of the Month girl. The video shows Marilyn, but we know better.
3. Stagefright - The world may end tomorrow, I am going off to war, we have to have sex RIGHT NOW by the dashboard light. Yet another 'we have to do it tonight' song that represents horny teenage boys with the added fantasy of having flocks of groupies around.
4. Too Late for Love - Some might argue that this one is the power ballad, but the music isn't slow enough and the lyrics are plain stupid (once again). Great guitar solo, slow buildup, intense middle and ending - like sex. Love this one.
5. Die Hard the Hunter - Time to make the political statement - which doesn't work when your songwriting skills are somewhat limited. My least favorite song of the bunch, but not enough to disqualify Pyromania from the 'great album' list.
6. Foolin' - Wow. Just wow. Every time I hear it this one gets to me. Play it at 11 and you'll get chills. Or maybe that's just me. It doesn't help that I wanted to marry Joe Elliot from age 12-21. Please forgive me.
7. Rock of Ages - THIS is the rock anthem of the 80s. Kiss's anthem was for the 70s and is another casualty of our time - I laugh when I hear it now. When asked to name one song that is an example of all 80s metal - Rock of Ages could easily be the one. Besides, like the Kurgen said, 'I've got something to say...it's better to burn out than to fade away'!
8. Comin' Under Fire - Uh, hey Beavis, he said come. heh heh heh
9. Action! Not Words - We've got another horny teen boy again - see #3. Terrible lyrics, good music.
10. Billy's Got a Gun - It wasn't Janie, it was Billy! No, this tale didn't start with Columbine. Go read the Bachman books. Also of note - You think Nirvana thought up the super long random ending to a record? No, they weren't original! Listen to the end of this one.
Mutt Lange showed up to help out with Pyromania and it is obvious. The sound and the band's musical ability definitely took a jump from High N Dry. You can wikipedia all the details, but I remember at one time record sales were right up there with Thriller. At the time that was quite a feat.
Have I tempted you to go dust off your old CD yet? Go take a listen and then come back and argue with me. It isn't any fun if everyone agrees with me! Play it for your kids - it's never too early to start influencing them away from the foul sludge of pop radio. Show them what a true work of art is all about.
Why is the photo of some generic 80s band instead of Def Leppard or the Pyromania album cover, which is what this article is actually about?
You're absolutely right, Thai. That was a brain fart on my part. I was in a hurry to post the blog and didn't even read anything but the first couple sentences when I first put it up. I just did a search for "hair bands". I meant to change it after I read the whole thing, but I forgot. I just changed it, though.