We are still at the Du Burns Arena in
Baltimore Maryland…….at what point does it stop being a wrestling event and
start being a hostage situation?
We open with a recap of last week’s
events between Charlie Haas and the Briscoes.
Haas still asserts that if you hold up a chair, Mark Briscoe will just
slam his head into it because he is that damn stupid. I think I know people like that. Mark got the win last week and Charlie
embraced his inner heel by holding up a chair in the middle of the ring, and
sure enough, Mark ran headfirst right into it.
It’s like a bell to Pavlov’s dogs.
We end with Nigel and Kevin holding ten grand from Charlie. Straight cash homies.
Nigel and Kevin are in the ring, we are
going to hear from the Briscoes, who are two angry chicken farmers. We start with a tag match, but FIRST
previews!
-The Young Bucks don’t have much respect for Caprice
Coleman and Cedric Alexander, and they also call the Briscoes nerds. Young Bucks need to work on their promo
skills.
-Coleman and Alexander retort, one hits
a great line “bring your Sports Entertainment attitude and your independent
scene bodies.” Other than that, a whole
lot of yelling. Calm down guys.
CEDRIC ALEXANDER & CAPRICE COLEMAN
vs. THE YOUNG BUCKS
Kevin Kelly calls the Young Bucks
hooligans. Well that will certainly put
them in their place. The Bucks are
riding high having put Rhett Titus out with a knee injury. The Bucks still look like they picked up the
Hardy’s tights from 2000 at a yardsale.
Ditch the bell bottoms boys. The
Bucks may not be much for fashion, but holy shit they are slick in the
ring. TNA kind of dropped the ball by
letting these guys walk. Coleman and
Alexander hit some kind of weird superkick/faceplant thing on one of the bucks,
looked like they broke his neck, but not so much. More Bang For Your Buck ends it, that is also
a pretty sweet move. This was a really
solid match. The Bucks should make a
good challenger for the Briscoes, but I can’t see ROH putting the titles on
them.
TONIGHT! Davey Richards vs. Jay Lethal!
-Veda Scott talks to the Embassy. If Lethal wins tonight, Ciampa’s match becomes
a world title match. Something tells me
that isn’t going to happen. Ciampa dares
Lethal to win the title so he can beat him.
Interesting. Be a man, and on
March 4th he will humble him down to a boy. Is the Iron Sheik giving Ciampa promo ideas?
-Kevin Kelly pimps the anniversary show. The Young
Bucks come out again. They are not fans
of the Briscoes. Shocking I know.
-Kevin Kelly is back in the ring, and
his guest is the Briscoe Brothers. Mark looks
no worse for the wear after running into a chair last week, though, how would
you really know? I guess you couldn’t do
a sit down interview with them because they would just slam their heads into
the chairs the whole time. Dem Boys vs.
Dem Lady Boys. The Briscoes are going to
New York and make the Bucks their personal bitches. ROH is certainly back on their homoerotic
path. The Briscoes also have not forgot
about winning FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS from the House of Truth a few weeks
ago. They were going to use it for a new
manure shed on the chicken farm. Well
that is certainly money well spent.
Showdown in the Sun, they face WGTT.
Someone is leaving on a body bag, I think you meant IN, but you know
what…..it’s the Briscoes not Shakespeare.
INSIDE ROH
-Steen re-destroys Andy Ridge. Jimmy Jacobs comes out and makes a statement
for short guys everywhere. I saw what
Jacobs did with the whole Age of the Fall debut. I have high hopes for a Steen/Jacobs match. Jacobs looks all emo, Fire will swoon. It’s his turn to be evil, again, can we just
team these two up? When evil faces evil,
is there ever a winner? YES, we win!
-Steen wants Jimmy to make him bleed so
he will remember the evil man that he is.
This feud has the potential to be awesome.
-All Night Express takes on WGTT at the Anniversary
show. Titus is back earlier than
expected from his knee injury. Titus
reminds me of the guy from Nickleback.
-Next week Eddie Edwards faces Roderick
Strong for a title shot. Strong also
wants Lethal to win so he can beat him for the title. That really isn’t saying a whole lot about Lethal
two guys want him to win the title so they can beat him rather than Davey
Richards for the title. Putting Davey
over kind of big there. Oh, and I still
don’t care about Roderick Strong.
-Veda Scott talks to Eddie Edwards and
Adam Cole. Veda asks Eddie for his pick
in tonights match, Eddie wonders about Davey’s focus. Adam chimes in that Davey is distracted and
says he will be better than Kyle O’Reily.
Thanks for playing Adam. They
face the House of Truth next week. That
should be a good match too.
DAVEY RICHARDS vs. JAY LETHAL
World title match. I am still not really on board with Davey Richards. The guy is good and all, but I don’t know,
there is just something about him.
-commercial first – Kevin Steen talks
about Showdown in the Sun, Canadians are not used to seeing sun in March. Kevin Kelly says Cornette will give Steen a
title match over his dead body, Steen considers this, then says he guesses he
has some killing to do. See, this is why
I love Steen
Back to the match! You know one thing I don’t like about
Davey? That stupid hand over the face
thing he does. Stop it. Good match between these two, this recap is
not going to do it justice. I am not
about to try and recap this move by move.
Nigel pimps the fact that this is a WRESTLING match, thank you
Nigel. I am getting tired of Sports
Entertainment. Richards breaks out the
Trailer Hitch and Jamie Noble gets a shout out from Nigel. Again, this is why I like the ROH commentary
team, they have no problem mentioning someone from another promotion. Tomasso Ciampa wanders out with a steel chair……and
somehow Mark Briscoe doesn’t run head first into it. He takes a seat at ringside, cue the ominous
music as we go to our last commercial break!
Back from the break, Davey does a head first dive and looks like he
breaks his neck, but clearly Davey Richards has no bones to break…..that or he
just no sold a broken neck. Davey says
something to Tomasso Ciampa, probably that his tights look silly and Ciampa
gets in his face. Kyle O’Reily races to
the ring and calms things down and gets Davey back into the ring, but then
hangs around ringside, in a move that I am CERTAIN will not come into play
later. And now…..here comes the House of
Truth to ringside. I think an impromptu lumberjack
match might break out. I hate when that
happens. And now Eddie Edwards and Adam
Cole come out too. Sure, why not? I think Jake Roberts and Justin Credible are
in the back too, have them come on down.
Truth Martini tries to get involved, which leads to a huge brawl
outside. Lethal catches Richards with possible
the WORST elbow I have ever seen, but only gets a two count. Security comes out to stop things, but THAT
never works. Lethal goes for the Lethal injection,
but runs into Adam Cole and gets pinned with a pretty pedestrian kick to the
head. ROH needs to work on the ends of
their matches. Even though the end was
kind of weak, this was a GREAT match. I
would venture to guess that there was as much wrestling in one hour of ROH as
there was in six hours of WWE/TNA this week.
Next week…..will ROH finally release the
hostages from the Du Burns Arena? Also,
Edwards vs. Strong for a title shot! Tune in!
As always, feel free to discuss over on the message board.
I don’t
blame Bill Murray for turning down Ghostbusters III. Why ruin the legacy of the
first movie if the script isn’t up to par? More often than not, a sequel is nothing
more than a simple cash grab and doesn’t have the fun, excitement, or feel of
the original. For every “Godfather Part
II” you get “Caddyshack II” or dare I say it, “Rocky V”.
